Emotional ramifications with siblings

[CuckooMamma]

DD1 is allergic to dairy and soy, and a few fruits. However, dd2 who just turned a year is allergic to what seems like everything - dairy, soy, corn, eggs, nuts, wheat, banana, watermelon, pineapple. Aside from nursing, her diet consists of meat, avocado, rice and some fruits and veggies.

Our biggest difficulty so far is that dd1 can eat things that dd2 can't and this makes her miserable. We try to keep it to a minimum, but it is "really" tough to keep dd1 on the sam diet. Rice pasta helps with the pasta dishes and puffed rice (almost no nutritional value) offers a crunchy snack or cereal alternative. I found one rice bread but it had pineapple concentrate in it and rice crackers with soy.

Any ideas on what I can offer for breakfast when dd1 eats cereal? And what do all of you do who have children with more restrictive diets than their siblings? DD2 is starting to tantrum - something that never happened with dd1. I think she's just so sad that we don't let her have so many things :-(

Thanks for your help,
Chrys

[jacoby]

emotional ramifications with siblings

hi. i'm a newbie to this forum (and to the world of allergies and food intolerances). i have a totally allergy-free daughter who's 8 and and 1 1/2 year old son who reacts to everything. he had severe eczema that we were only abt to control recently by switching to neocate. his present diet is restricted to white rice (he reacted to brown rice cereals), broccoli, zuchini, sweet potatoes, millet, quinoa, pears and bananas. he's starting to reach for the foods that his sister has on the table and displays tantrums whenever he is not given the food he sees on the table. thankfully, we are able to distract him but my concern is how we will be able to hold this off in the future. hopefully, he will outgrow his food intolerances by that time. but i'm sure he still wont be able to have at least nuts for quite some time (and maybe dairy?). it's heartbreaking as it is to see DS not being to eat so many food but thinking about the immediate future is worrisome. how do i continue giving my DD the food she's accustomed to and not risking my DS from trying them? right now, we eat in another part of the house whenever high-risk foods are involved (peanuts, corn, chocolates). it sounds cruel but it's just the easiest way i can think of. now DS just doesnt seem to be the type who will take our explaining sitting down. any ideas?

[mbbinsc]

At 21 months my DD (now 3) begged for one of her brother's (now 10) cookies. He read the ingredients and there was no dairy as we knew she reacted so I said OK. Well, it was a peanut butter cookie and we were in the ER within 20 minutes with an anaphylactic reaction. We did not know she was allergic to peanut, though she should never had the cookie at that age. He saw her reaction and is willing to change his diet to help prevent another. It is more expensive to have him eat safe foods but the two of them can share cookies and snack together. She is allergic to dairy, peanut butter, egg, shellfish, and tree nuts.

[kjbrown92]

I have 3 kids. DD1 has no food issues. DS has a bunch of food issues (rice, chicken, turkey, dairy, soy, gluten, etc.). DD2 also has a bunch of food issues, and not the same ones as DS (corn, beef, dairy, soy, gluten, etc.). We usually do comparable foods. We try to do it as safe as possible for everyone (and it's a rotation besides, to make things more complicated). I'm off gluten, dairy, and soy for my own issues.

Breakfast: we don't really eat at the same time, so it's not a big deal. DD1 will have something before school (fried bread, egg sandwich, cereal). DS and DD2 will usually have the same thing: millet muffins, sorghum scones, buckwheat waffles, sausage, etc. Then the older two kids are at school for lunch, so she and I eat whatever she can eat. Dinner is sometimes tricky because of the opposite foods, but we all eat together. The vegetable and fruit are always the common ones. The starch has to be different, so sometimes it's wheat noodles for DD1 and DH, corn noodles for DS and me, rice noodles for DD2. Meat on day 1 is beef so DS can have it so we all have it, except DD2 has chickpeas for her protein. Day 2 it's chicken, so DS has baked beans for his protein. And the rest of us have chicken. Day 3, they can both have pork so the whole dinner is safe for everyone. And Day 4 is salmon which they can both have (but DD1 hates so I make sure she has enough alternatives - rice, fruit and vegetable). The diet is posted on the refrigerator so everyone can see it. And I use different words. For DD2, who's 3yo, I say "it's not your happy food". And she'll ask if it's "guacamole day" for instance, or "peanut day". DS is 8 so he feels left out a lot of times, but I try to make treats that he can have (chocolate chip cookies, dessert bar cookies). I buy regular ice cream for DH and DD1. And coconut milk ice cream for the rest of us. DD2 has been on a restricted diet since 1 yo, so she doesn't remember anything else.

Our pantry has a lock on it. And unsafe foods in the fridge are only allowed on the top shelf. Our downstairs freezer (which is much harder to open) houses the unsafe frozen things (like ice cream). When there is a treat and there isn't something comparable, such as there's still regular ice cream but no coconut ice cream, DD1 stays up a little later and has her ice cream after the other two are in bed. And once in a while DH and DD1 go out to eat (Chinese food or pizza) where no one else has to smell it!

[Mrsboyko]

Wow kathy, that sounds hard! I only have one right now. She is allergic to a bunch of stuff too. I am sitting here crossing my crossables that our incubating #2 either has the smae issues or none at all.

As it stands, we have been trying to get DD (22 months) used to the fact that she has allergies and there are some foods that she just can't have. She knows where her "cheese" is and when she sees daddie's cheese, she doesn't ask for any. I had to take a nectarine out of her hands a split second before she took a bit and explained that it would make her sick. She was upset, but i just kept saying that i was keeping her safe. We are working on "safe" and "dangerous" often right now. It is a daily struggle. Lucky we don't have any anaphalaxic reactive foods (yet...), it is mostly GI upset, eczema, and sleep issues.

[jacoby]

emotional ramifications with siblings

thanks! as it is, there's nothing in common yet for DS and DD. crossing my fingers we'll have more common foods soon