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im scared for my son

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
i have a 12 yr old son who is dd and has a special iep and help at school.but next yr he will go to mid school and they will expect much more out of him and i dont think he will be able to handle it.he has such trouble with his subjects and responsibility.i also found out that his special edu teacher has been yelling at him from her own frustration.i warned her i would deal with her in a very direct and unpleasant way if she ever did it again.i want to make him responsible and self reliant and i dont know how.im so afraid for him to go on in school and that he will fail.dont know why im writing this but im not sure what to do for him.thanks for listening.:
post #2 of 8
Hi momma7,
I think we all have fears for our children who are extraordinary. Perhaps you could get an aid to help your son adjust to the new school? I would have a meeting with the school he now goes to , and the one he will go to next year and see what all they can do for him. It's not acceptable the way he's being treated.
Hugs to both of you.
post #3 of 8
Thread Starter 
i think the older they get the harder it is to get help for him.they tend to want to intergrate them fully(get rid of the problem)and i cant afford private tuters.its also harder because theres more socialization.and he tends to follow.i wish i could win the lotto id take him to an island somewhere and hire everyone he needs to get a great edu.i know he can be frustrating (this is what i told his teacher)but when you yell at him it not only pisses me off but it takes him to a very insecure place.and thats not what shes there for.can i beat her up?!!!(she yells at all the special needs kidz.gotta go and get the babe.ill write more later.thanks forlistening.
post #4 of 8
You might try emailing this woman;


Diana Browning Wright is a fantastic school psychologist. She is a whiz with accomodations and modifications in the general educaiton classroom, with behavior training, and with parents and educators in general. I highly recommend her. If you do a yahoo search you'll find some of her articles. What I think might hit home hardest for you is her son- he is mildly retarded, visually impaired, and made it through high school in general education, graduating on his own without a watered down curriculum.

Don't bother mentioning me though, she'd have no idea who I am.
post #5 of 8

technology evaluation

has he been evaluated for the use of technology? (Assistive Technology)
I know in some states it is required if your kiddo has an IEP. but a lot of schools don't know what technology is available and unfortunately don't want to "pay for it" (if the technology is written into the IEP, they have to get it)
here is a very helpful web site ATA Access this is general info about technology. you may want to seek out the tech center for your region ATA Centers by state and ask for guidance. technology can enable and empower your kiddo to achieve. they can help provide you and the teachers with stategies to help your kiddo.
post #6 of 8
We're so with you!~ Our 15 year old son is *severely* DD and goes to high school with an IEP. Remember this, though: an IEP means the state has to provide for his special needs in whatever way necessary. The state absolutely has to provide an education for all kids, regardless of what special needs they have to meet in order to do that. With his IEP, your kid has a *lot* of rights. Our son has all kinds of services that are guaranteed by his rights-- including a para educator (a one-on-one gal who greets him at the door and stays with him all day long as he goes to his classes until he is picked up). I am learning that by law the school can't be unresponsive and simply try to push him into the other kids' routines. You may have to do lots of advocating, but he can go to middle school with success. Moving up to middle school can be an important step for him, and it sounds like a good idea for him to get away from his current special ed teacher. Our son has his struggles, but he really loves school, and despite his developmental stuff, he would be miserable if he had to stay in middle school.

We're not able to homeschool him for a couple of reasons. One, he loves the intensive social experience of school (being in a small room with a bunch of same-age-peers all day just really floats his boat: ). I realize that he could get social experiences in homeschool, but he completely resists the idea of anything that takes him away from "my people." Two, he is a foster child and we are not able to homeschool him unless his needs simply are not met in a regular school setting. Maybe homeschooling would be another option for you to consider, depending on your situation.

In any case, when is the next IEP evaluation scheduled for your son? It sounds like some adjustments will need to be made to the IEP in order to ensure a smooth transition for him. He may need to have a little more intensive assistance for a while. Also, have you already been in contact with his middle school? Our son is transferring schools in the next month or so, and I have begun to contact all kinds of people at his new school to work on his transition. People who can be your supports at the new school include the special ed teacher, administrators, the school nurse, the school counselor (usually assigned by first letter of last name), etc.

Anyway, you may already know about this stuff, but I just want you to know you are not alone. These are hard issues to deal with.

On a side note, I also want to say that I am excited to have found another person on here parenting an older DD kid! It is easy to feel overwhelmed in the face of our kids needs.

post #7 of 8
P.S. I just want to say that a teacher yelling at a student (particularly a special needs student) because of his or her own frustration is absolutely unacceptable, and if I were you, I would go beyond just confronting her directly. I would speak with administration and have them develop a plan to help prevent future occurrences. It is their responsibility to make their school a safe place to learn, which includes emotional safety.

We're getting into this a lot with our son. The school has become a hostile learning environment for him in some ways, which is part of why we are transferring schools. We hear the new school he is going to is fantastic in terms of special ed service delivery.
post #8 of 8

I was a SN kid for my entire school career, with multiple disabilities, DD amoung them. I was in "special Ed" in the days before IEPs..... in the 1960's and 70's we just did not have them here.
I can tell you that your children have a lot going for them and one of the biggest things they have is you and your love. Your encouragement will make a difference to them as will your being willing to get in there and talk to the teachers ( or do "battle" )with them as needed.
For the mom of the young gentleman just entering middle school, this is a descive time for him, as you well know. He is going to need you both more and less than ever. He needs to find his own "wings" and still know that he has your trust,love, support and admiration. School will be difficult for him and yes they are going to ask more than ever. Both teachers and kids. It will be frustrating and heartrending at times, but I promise you there will be good and glorius times too.
The responsibilty thing is probably going to be the hardest for him and you. The only thing I can tell you here is that it will be better in the long term if he takes a few lumps now rather than on the job later. It took me till college to figure out that i needed to make sure I a) wrote things down and b) asked the professor to check it to make sure it was complete and correct. Starting in middle school and getting in the habit of writing things down like assigments, appointments and the like will help for the rest of his life.
He CAN do what ever he wants, whatever he dreams but he will have to find the way that works right for him. This might not be the easiest way or the most comfortable way for you or his teachers, but as long as he is getting things in on time and doing the required work, making friends and adjusting to his new evironment, let him do what works for him.
just my two cents
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