Pediatrician rant--CIO!

[anonymous4_20]

We had our 6 month appt. today, and I asked about some sleep issues. Stuart slept very well for months and then started getting up every 3 hours or so. DH wanted me to check with the dr. to make sure there wasn't a medical cause for this.

The dr. basically said I'm spoiling Stu. He said that he should only be eating 4 times a day now and that he should be sleeping 10 hours straight. He suggested letting him cry a bit. When I said I had been letting him go a bit longer, he said it would take about "2 hours the first night, 1 hour the next night, and then 15 minutes" but then it would be fine. He said that he shouldn't be nursing to sleep, but be put down and then fall asleep on his own.

I knew I was setting myself up for this by asking, but it still upset me. It's hard to hear that you're doing everything wrong. He said that unless I fixed this within the next three months I'd have a manipulative 18 month old that had permanent sleep issues! The only reason I asked is because I thought this guy was fairly ap friendly because he doesn't get upset about the no-vax thing. I guess I misjudged him a bit, huh!

Am I doing things ok? I need reassurance! It's still ok to nurse to sleep in my lap and then transfer, right? Any ideas about helping him sleep through? He made me feel like such a crappy parent!

[iris0110]

s you aren't doing anything wrong. Some people still believe in cry it out. Some times babies go through sleep issues. Especially around big milestones. 6 months is a big time for a baby, they are discovering there is a world around them, they are getting mobile, they are trying new foods and in alot of cases they are cutting new teeth. All of these things can mess with sleeping patterns. Tharen is going through something similar right now, and I have to say that there are nights that he drives me nuts. He can be up and down all night long wanting to eat, wanting comfort, wanting I don't know what. We layed off solids and that has helped some (so much for the feed them solids so they will sleep through the night theory). The solids seemed to be upsetting his stomach and making him gassy at night. I just try and remember that this is normal. He takes good naps and he is growing well. He will get through this, and so will Stuart. Things will probably get better for a while, then worse for awhile when seperation anxiety hits, then better again. You will probably notice that things get the worst just before he gets a new tooth or discovers a new ability (sitting, crawling, standing, ect) or when he hits a growth spurt. Just know that you are doing things just right.

[darkpear]

Are you getting enough sleep? Is Stuart getting enough sleep? If so, you're doing fine.

It's perfectly normal for babies' sleep patterns to change. Everything else about them is constantly changing, after all. Moira was THE BEST SLEEPER in the baby world until she started getting seriously mobile. Now she wakes up in the middle of the night with a huge grin on her face and starts crawling around the bed. Sometimes this is accompanied by shrieks of delight. Usually, though, I can get her back to sleep with the boob, or simply by rolling over and going back to sleep (or pretending to) myself, or both.

Amalie was never a great sleeper and honestly 6-10 months with her was absolutely awful. She still wakes up in the night sometimes. I think she has night terrors, actually

It really gets me : when doctors start handing out this kind of parenting advice. It's especially frustrating when they're otherwise great, because that leads to the kind of self-doubt you're experiencing right now. The chiropractor who was invaluable help solving Amalie's early issues nursing also told me I should smack her if she bit me while nursing

It's tricky. I know how the no-vax thing makes it extra hard to find a doctor you can live with. You need to weigh that against whether you feel up to sorting out the medical advice from the parenting advice (or just politely telling him to shove the parenting advice).

[Geofizz]

Darkpear makes a few good points:

If everyone is getting enough rest, don't sweat it. Also, doctors need to stop giving parenting advice disguised as medical advice.

BUT

You asked the ped a question about sleep. You wanted to know if your baby was in pain, and if you have doubts, you should bring it up with the ped to get things checked.

Knowing that sleep is gonna be one of those issues where I get parenting advice, I recast the question: "DS has been much fussier in the last few weeks compared to when he was 3-4 months old. Can we check to see if there's anything causing him pain?" I get the same result without bringing up sleep issues.

Ok, now the facts: I think it's really typical for early "good" sleepers to stop sleeping as well when they approach 6 months. It's an effect of teething, newfound awareness of the world around them and newfound skills like sitting and crawling. Find "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and read through it both for information on sleep in babies and ideas on how to stretch the sleeping intervals.

[aisraeltax]

im reading The Happiest Baby on the Block right now and just started swaddling Ethan. i thought it was too late but its not. he has slept really well the last 2 nights and during the day for naps..its incredible. i bought a Swaddle Me at BRU for $10. its worth its weight in gold.

as for your ped., its really hard to find one that is OK with no/delayed vax's, so i dont think i would be willing to change for the CIO statement; however, i think i would make it very clear that I am totally against CIO and i think i would print out some research re: the long term effects of CIO. Maybe you could help "enlighten" him. worth a try. at the least, i would explain to him that you are opposed to CIO and dont want him to suggest that to you in the future.

so so sorry...trust your instincts. no baby should be crying themselves to sleep. unless they really cant fall asleep any other way (ive heard of some babies that do that and i know sometimes Ethan cries himself to sleep in my arms if you kwim).



rach

[Geofizz]

Originally Posted by aisraeltax

im reading The Happiest Baby on the Block right now and just started swaddling Ethan. i thought it was too late but its not. he has slept really well the last 2 nights and during the day for naps..its incredible. i bought a Swaddle Me at BRU for $10. its worth its weight in gold.

Yes, try swaddling. I use a twin bed sheet.

[Taedareth]

Dr. Sears also has a fabulous book called Nighttime Parenting. I believe all the same information is also included in his The Baby Book. If you haven't read it yet, I think you'll find it very encouraging.

[anonymous4_20]

Thanks for all the replies!

Wendy, that's a nice turn of phrase to use when asking the dr. about changed behavior! I was leary of bringing up the subject of sleep because I thought I might get some odd comments. Your words would definitely have worked better!

I've seen the Happiest Baby DVD, and we are still swaddling for night. Naps still take place in the swing, so I don't swaddle for them. It's funny, because I asked the dr. about swaddling and he said that DS shouldn't need it still and was probably breaking out of it. I mentioned that he stayed in it all night and then broke out in the morning when he got up, and he didn't have much to say about that! I've also read the No Cry Solution, but it was early on before we were having troubles at night. I have the Sears book, but it's been a while since I've read the sleep section.

The problem is, I'm really not getting enough sleep, because I still can't co-sleep full time. So I guess I'll go back and double check the NCSS and the Sears and hope for some new ideas. I also think I'm pretty restless at night and wake with his every sound even though he's across the hall, so I may be waking up when he would have gone back to sleep if I'd given him time.

Thanks again!