any suggestion on teaching patience???

[adon]

i have a 23 month old and i'm starting to wonder how to teach him patience. i know kids throw fits, but when i say "mommy has to go potty, and then we will go back outside" he screams and screams until we go back outside. i start to think i just shouldn't go back because of the fit...i know that's not the right thing to do but.....he does this with everything....there has to be a way to at least start teaching him what patience is.

any suggestions??

[dharmama]

:

[DevaMajka]

I don't know that patience is something you can teach, per se. I'd say that the best way to help him learn to be patient, is to say "I'm going to go to the bathroom. We'll come back out as soon as I'm done." and then follow through every time. He'll eventually learn that you mean it when you say that you'll go back out. Coming in does not equal stopping playing, kwim?
In the meantime, have some phrases that will help you deal. I like telling ds "Patience is a virtue" it humors me, and makes it easier to deal with an impatient child. lol Or "Your cooperation in this matter will be greatly appreciated." Not expecting cooperation necessarily, just saying it because I find it humorous. lol

[Mama8]

maturity and life experiences. Unfortunately this is an area that even we adults struggle with a lot of times. I am trying to learn patience myself. Sorry I am not more of a help. For a 2 year old that lives in the here-and-now.......Wow what a feat that would be!

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by Deva33mommy

I'd say that the best way to help him learn to be patient, is to say "I'm going to go to the bathroom. We'll come back out as soon as I'm done." and then follow through every time. He'll eventually learn that you mean it when you say that you'll go back out.

I agree. I wouldn't look at going back outside (or whatever) as rewarding his tantruming, but just as following through on what you say. If you're consistant he'll learn that after he waits while you do what you need to do he'll get to continue what he was doing.

[rosybaby]

I am in the same shoe, I don't know what to say.at this age, communication hasn't quite established, and tantrum kicks in. all I can do is to try to be persistant with the rules and repeat the phrases, and keep myself SANE!

[ibex67]

TBH, I think patience is something that a 2 year old is simply not wired to have. Which doesn't mean you don't explain, explain, explain -- like you've been doing. IT just means you explain what is going on while being resigned to the fact that they are just not going to get it right now.

I still have to remind my 6 yr old son. And my 3.5 year old daughter who is *very* verbal, is just beginning to get it.

[mommy68]

I wish I knew. My son was born a patient child and still is. His sister hasn't had any patience ever since she was a couple days old. She is a very highstrung individual just like her father. In fact, I'm still a little short on patience even at my age now. : I can be patient in certain situations but there are others that I get extremely bored if I have to be too patient.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I like Harvey Karp's (Happiest Toddler on the Block) ideas about teaching a child to wait. Basically you just start out with a few seconds, at most, before giving them what they desire. Its not punitive: if the child begins to cry or scream, you have asked them to wait too long. Start out where the child is at and slowly increase the amount of time. Practice frequently, with everything, maintaining a playful demeanor.

[mommy68]

Oh and preschool is a great way to teach kids they have to wait for things at this age. My 4 yr old has to get in line for everything, wait her turn, raise her hand, etc. She's very hyper still but it works for the most part.

[cumulus]

I think art would be a good way. If he can be enrolled in projects that take a while to complete he will need to develop some patience to complete them. Drawings on larger pieces of paper, lots of smaller drawings as part of a larger mural or show, arrangements of blocks or toys, play-dough zoos, a father's day set of drawings, sculptures, cards or whatever, or other projects that take focus and a bit of time.