I'm cutting and pasting what I have posted before in this forum.
Hope that is okay:
1) How far should parents be willing to go in order to ensure good behavior? If spanking is not adequate, most people agree that it is not okay to take more severe physical measures crossing over into brutality. Why is okay to cross from verbal techniques into seemingly mild violence like slapping or spanking? How does a parent decide how much or how little violence is worth the goal of good behavior? When spanking is not enough, what does a spanking parent try next? Why not start with that?
2) When parents choose to spank, they often cut themselves off from the opportunity to develop more creative and deeper reaching discipline methods. But by choosing not to spank, we are forced to do some serious reading, thinking and searching. We must find new ways of relating not just to our children, but also to everyone. If your upbringing was not gentle, then the opportunity to take this journey can be difficult. Difficult -- but potentially very rewarding. By not spanking, you are opening yourself up to a new sort of growth.
3) Spanking a child teaches them to behave out of fear, and puts distance between parent and child. They are afraid to earn a spanking. Therefore, most children will try to hide their mistakes and poor behavior. A child who is not afraid of of punishment is more likely to tell his parents when he finds himself in trouble, and ask for help.
4) A child who is spanked learns to believe that hitting is sometimes an acceptable way to solve a problem. His parents have modeled that belief, and no matter what they *tell* the kid about hitting, they have *shown* him that its okay and that it works.
5) A child who is spanked learns to be controlled by external forces. How will he learn to control himself? How will he learn to care about being good for the sake of goodness, and not to avoid punishment?
6) Spanking hurts and degrades a child. Not matter how it is framed, this is always the child's immediate experience. In order to accept spanking, a parent must believe on some level that a child somehow needs or benefits from occasional pain and degradation.