Help with sibling fighting please!

[Moon Faerie]

Ben is being SO mean to Lauren lately. I spend all day trying to get him to stop hitting and shoving her. Sometimes she does instigate things, but I still don't want him to think it's okay to hit. Most of the time though, she's just trying to play with him or be around him. She is all about her big brother and follows him everywhere. And it's not just when he's mad or she's in his way. He'll walk around the house just to find her and shove her down. How do I stop this? I've tried seperating them, but that just causes both of them to sit there and cry. Oh, and Ben's 32 months, and Lauren's 17 months.

[chfriend]

I sit with my body between them and make a "line of control." Then I play with both of them. (Mine are 5 and 23 months.) That way everyone can play together safely and happily.

[marsupial*mama]

When my oldest boy gets feisty I figure he's feeling a bit 'all powerful' and needs a bit of 'big brothering' of his own. I try to arrange for him to play with an older boy we know who is a bit rough and tumble. After he's got that out of his system, if he still bullies his younger sibs, I regularly remind him how it felt to have someone bigger than him push him around.

Sometimes I feel we need to seek out contexts that simulate situations in their own lives so they can learn what it's like to be the receiver of the kind of behaviour they exhibit towards others. Does this make sense? Brain drain today ....

[mightymoo]

:
I'm having this problem too. I don't have the energy or inclination to try to physically seperate them all day and I've tried...

[Moon Faerie]

Originally Posted by marsupial*mama

When my oldest boy gets feisty I figure he's feeling a bit 'all powerful' and needs a bit of 'big brothering' of his own. I try to arrange for him to play with an older boy we know who is a bit rough and tumble. After he's got that out of his system, if he still bullies his younger sibs, I regularly remind him how it felt to have someone bigger than him push him around.

Sometimes I feel we need to seek out contexts that simulate situations in their own lives so they can learn what it's like to be the receiver of the kind of behaviour they exhibit towards others. Does this make sense? Brain drain today ....

It does make sense. The only flaw I see is that he loves rough housing and being pushed around. (Think stereotypical boy, future football player type boy, and that's my ds exactly.) If his sister pushes back or sits on him, he thinks it's the funniest thing ever. Out of all the other kids close in age, I don't know of any as rough as mine. They're pretty much all the easy going type that will just take it.

[marsupial*mama]

I think there is a difference between genuine rough and tumble and bullying behaviour though. It's pretty easy to read their motivations. Naturally my approach wouldn't work if it was just a fun time or a cathartic process. Maybe sports would be a better outlet in that case.