Snappy comebacks if you haven't had your baby yet.

[kdabbler]

Does anyone have any stories or smart replies for people who ask stupid or annoying questions or do stupid things because you're pregnant?

Yesterday while I was at work, I was riding up the elevator with one of the researchers who works on a floor above mine. His comment? "Whoa! It looks like you're going to blow any minute!" In retrospect, I wish I had the presence of mind to say, "Wait a moment, maybe I will. JUST FOR YOU!" He was this young, single guy who I know would be horrified if I grabbed my belly and said, "Ohhhhhhhh!" LOL But seriously, everyone else in the elevator looked at this guy for being so rude. Can you imagine? Using the word, blow? I'm about as big as a pilot whale as it is.

I haven't had this happen to me during this pregnancy. But last time, one of the guys from the mailroom who is old enough to be my father came up to me, rubbed my belly and said, "How's it going Mama?" Dh was incensed when he heard this. He has given me blanket permission to reach out and fondle any man's family jewels with the reply, "Ok. So how's it hangin'?" This pregnancy, I haven't had any tummy rubs without being asked first. I wonder if I really would have done it given the opportunity?

[mamamilkbar]

I've been getting really annoyed at work also! I'm already anxious enough and since I had DD 2 weeks early I've been ready for about 2 1/2 wks and it feels like I'm that far overdue LOL. Most of the time I just look at them and walk away. It's really starting to get on my nerves. I said to a group of them yesterday that if another person asked me when I was having the baby or why I'm still at work or when I'm going to pop I'm going to blow up on them. I haven't heard anything since But then again I just got in..... But honestly I'm not just going to "pop". URG! Some people get on my nerves

[MidwifeErika]

See, I just don't leave my house anymore. I have decided that from today on, I won't even step into my yard until this baby is born. Otherwise, people just say annoying things. I can't even tell you the number of times that a neighbor this past week (and she really is a nice lady) has said, "No baby yet?" Well, jeez, doesn't it still look like I am pregnant? I know she is just trying to make chitchat, but I am capable of talking about other things than the fact that my baby hasn't come out yet. Or yesterday a neighbor that I don't like said, "Still waiting? anyday now, huh?" He didn't even say anything annoying or insulting, I was just annoyed because I don't like him and he spoke to me People who don't know me don't say anything about my belly usually.... that is one bonus to being fat and pregnant is that my belly isn't super rounded and it is hard to tell how far along I am compared to just how heavy I might be

[chinacat]

I don't leave my house either..lol I always have strangers commenting on my size and how they can't believe i'm still walking around...Everytime i go out i get mad..lol and i don't need it. This is the first time i've ever gone past my due date so i'm already a little sensitive about it..I dislike people..lol
I wish i had something whitty to say to people but it's to hot and i'm, too aggrivated to think..i just smile and walk away.

Julia

[chiromama]

Well I'm a week past 'due' so I haven't left the house other than for walks with Hubby in a few days. We have MW appt today, and I MAY go out to knit with my girlfirends, but I'm thinking the house is the place for me. People were being assclowns to me last week, I can't imagine what they would say now.

[grace's voice]

I'm too out of it to come up with anything clever. I'm staying home too! I don't think people have any clue how these comments affect us unless they THEMSELVES have been pg before. So, I try not to be too rude because they really don't mean anything by it, though it is genuinly annoying, and even hurtful at times. My way of coping is just avoidance.

[Wolfcat]

I have a co-worker who is completely convinced that I'm going to go into labor while the group of us are out at lunch. I think it's funny, b/c he gets this deer-in-the-headlights look when I grab my purse to join them. I've told him
"good thing you're driving... your seats are waterproof"
"first time mothers are usually in labor for 12 plus hours, so we should have time to get back from lunch"
"are we going to a restaurant with an elevator?"
"I've decided to wait 'til next week"
and "I'd rather go into labor on Tuesday (during our weekly meeting)."

And periodically my boss (who has a 9 month old) stops by my desk "to check for flooding"...
I tell him that if he really wants me to water the floor at my feet, I can dump out my tea...
I also tell him that when I go into labor, I'll tell him first, b/c his panic is sure to put me in a good mood.

Men are sooo much fun! :

[kdabbler]

Sarah, that's awesome! I love it!

Tomorrow is my last day of work. My boss asked if I planned on coming in Monday if I haven't had the baby (my official maternity leave begins on my due date, Monday). I told her no. I'll check e-mail and stuff but I don't think I'd be very good to be around because I'll be going past my due date. I'm getting real prickly with the comments.