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What's the most shocking thing you've ever seen another parent do? - Page 6

post #101 of 151
Whatever. Why do I bother.
post #102 of 151
I find this thread terribly disturbing, and worry, as others have, that it could be used as an outlet for malicious gossip and as a way to make ourselves feel superior as parents.

In the end, though, I believe that bearing witness to the suffering of innocents is an important and necessary part of effecting change. I also believe there is value in confirming, among like-minded members of the community, that the acts described in this thread are, in truth, shocking.

:
post #103 of 151
I few years ago I was putting kids in the car and saw next to me a woman in a mini-van beating her carseated baby with a shoe. As I backed out I noticed that she had a pro-life license plate.

This afternoon I saw a mother repetadly hit her babys hand because she had taken her baby bracelet off.
post #104 of 151
oops! double!
post #105 of 151
Someone mentioned Barnes and Noble. It reminded me of when I was in one with DD- when she about 6 months old- and I suddenly realized I had forgotten to strap her in and she was sliding out the bottom of the stroller...
maybe we should do a more lighthearted thread about our own screw-ups. Now THAT might help me feel like a better mom....
post #106 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoulaClara
At a beach in a posh neighborhood ("known for being child-friendly") in suburban Chicagoland last summer- a woman set her too-young to talk barefoot tot onto the burning hot sand (during one of those 95+ days, if you lived in the area at that time!) so that she could put her sandels on, and yelled at him to stop crying when he instantly began to hop up and down, shrieking. She then turned her back on him and deliberately walked away, and he chased her, shrieking more, while she calmly repeated, "Use your words, and stop screaming at me." As I started hoofing it over there to explain to her the concept of temperature and heat exchange, a young woman she was with pointed out the extreme heat of the sand while picking him up. :

That pretty much took the cake.

Clara
Omg, I just had a flash back. When I was a teenager, I saw a young woman at the beach, walking through the red hot parking lot with a toddler. She put her down on the hot pavement, barefloot and yelled at her to "WALK". When the child started shrieking and trying to climb up the woman to get off the hot pavement, the woman slapped the child, hard. I burst into tears. Luckily the woman finally picked the child back up, I was about to go over and pick her up myself.
post #107 of 151
This is not something I saw actually take place, but...

When I was working daycare during college, we had two brothers in our class - an almost 2 and a 4 month old. The 4 month old cried CONSTANTLY. He cried when you held him (no matter what position), when he way lying down (back or tummy), when you changed him, when you sat him in a baby seat (we had a couple bucket seats for feeding the little ones who were starting solids), everywhere EXCEPT the swing. If he was in the swing, he would sleep and stop crying. We kept him in the swing WAY more than we would have liked - we tried to only use it as a keep-baby-calm-for-a-few-moments device while we had our hands full with the others. He occasionally had bruises, but they were easily and convincingly explained away - "his brother hit him yesterday", "dad wasn't watching carefully and bumped his head on the door frame, he felt so bad." The brother had slightly more suspicious bruises - "he just got a big boy bed and fell off while jumping on it" "the broom leaning against the wall fell and hit his face" - all plausible.

THEN... Dad heated the baby's bottle WAY too hot and gave it to him anyway, scalding his throat. They went to the ER, of course, and in the course of things (I suspect the doctors must have had their suspicions raised), they took x-rays of the baby. Broken collarbone, broken femur, multiple broken ribs in various states of healing! The poor baby! We were all horrified that we hadn't taken our niggling suspicions more seriously! What if we had said something earlier?

I have read this thread partly because of morbid curiosity, and partly because it is cathartic to share stories that affect us so strongly. I do feel a bit sorry for the parents who are at the end of their rope and hurt their children, but I feel much worse for the children. The parents are supposed to be the adults - it's their responsibility not to let their own abuse trickle down to their children.
post #108 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyAngel
This is not something I saw actually take place, but...

When I was working daycare during college, we had two brothers in our class - an almost 2 and a 4 month old. The 4 month old cried CONSTANTLY. He cried when you held him (no matter what position), when he way lying down (back or tummy), when you changed him, when you sat him in a baby seat (we had a couple bucket seats for feeding the little ones who were starting solids), everywhere EXCEPT the swing. If he was in the swing, he would sleep and stop crying. We kept him in the swing WAY more than we would have liked - we tried to only use it as a keep-baby-calm-for-a-few-moments device while we had our hands full with the others. He occasionally had bruises, but they were easily and convincingly explained away - "his brother hit him yesterday", "dad wasn't watching carefully and bumped his head on the door frame, he felt so bad." The brother had slightly more suspicious bruises - "he just got a big boy bed and fell off while jumping on it" "the broom leaning against the wall fell and hit his face" - all plausible.

THEN... Dad heated the baby's bottle WAY too hot and gave it to him anyway, scalding his throat. They went to the ER, of course, and in the course of things (I suspect the doctors must have had their suspicions raised), they took x-rays of the baby. Broken collarbone, broken femur, multiple broken ribs in various states of healing! The poor baby! We were all horrified that we hadn't taken our niggling suspicions more seriously! What if we had said something earlier?

I have read this thread partly because of morbid curiosity, and partly because it is cathartic to share stories that affect us so strongly. I do feel a bit sorry for the parents who are at the end of their rope and hurt their children, but I feel much worse for the children. The parents are supposed to be the adults - it's their responsibility not to let their own abuse trickle down to their children.
OMG!!! That just hurts so badly!!! How very terrible. Do you know whatever happened to the baby? Was he put with another family? I wonder how he is doing now.
post #109 of 151
I know that the father was ordered to stay away from the kids while being investigated (though we at daycare suspected the MOTHER had more to do with it than the dad). BUT, he was in the car one day with the mom when she came to get them - of course we couldn't let her take them and I believe the police were called. The last I heard the kids were living with their grandmother, still having contact with the parents. That's been a long time ago, and I have no idea how things turned out.
post #110 of 151
I won't go into my students' stories because they are too bad, and I immediately took care of them.

Just wanted to reiterate that I have been affirmed by many of these stories that when I confront a parent about what they are doing, I am certainly doing the right thing. I also hope that more of the posters of this thread are being convicted that they are indeed doing the right thing when they gently try to help a child/parent (ex: "It looks like you have your hands full trying to put your sandles on- can I help put your baby's shoes on his feet so that the sand doesn't burn him?")

I guess I'm either a major buttinsky, or just used to telling parents the whole scoop as I've taught for a couple of years now; but I did used to wonder if it was too much to tell strangers to quit harming their kids. I do feel reaffirmed that I am doing the right thing for me, even if the parent is outraged that I dared tell them to stop whomping on their offspring.

That's what this thread's done for me.

Clara
post #111 of 151
I'm with you, Clara!
post #112 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoulaClara
I won't go into my students' stories because they are too bad, and I immediately took care of them.

Just wanted to reiterate that I have been affirmed by many of these stories that when I confront a parent about what they are doing, I am certainly doing the right thing. I also hope that more of the posters of this thread are being convicted that they are indeed doing the right thing when they gently try to help a child/parent (ex: "It looks like you have your hands full trying to put your sandles on- can I help put your baby's shoes on his feet so that the sand doesn't burn him?")

I guess I'm either a major buttinsky, or just used to telling parents the whole scoop as I've taught for a couple of years now; but I did used to wonder if it was too much to tell strangers to quit harming their kids. I do feel reaffirmed that I am doing the right thing for me, even if the parent is outraged that I dared tell them to stop whomping on their offspring.

That's what this thread's done for me.

Clara
Ita Clara.
In my case (with the child walking on the hot tar), I was only a teenager, so I didn't know what to do. Now I do and I would say something!
post #113 of 151
I wanted to share a story that surprised me in how appropriately the situation was investigated...I expected to be able to do almost nothing...

Years ago, long before marriage and kids, my dh (then boyfriend) and I were walking in a well-populated urban area and heard, from across a sidestreet, a child screaming, clearly in pain. He and I both took off to figure out where it was coming from. We saw, on the other side of the street, a group of four people: an older woman (perhaps the children's grandmother), a baby she was carrying, a young girl holding her hand, and a little boy about four years old walking behind them and screaming. The little boy was screaming "NO!" and it seemed, at first glance, that he was just not wanting to go wherever they were going, but then the grandma turned around and started walking back to him. He ran to a lightpole and wrapped himself around it, arms and legs, and would not let go. The grandma then let go of the toddler, and, still holding the baby, drew her free hand and arm back and smacked the boy in the back of the head with an open hand. She did it so hard that we could hear the boy's forehead SMACK against the pole from ACROSS THE STREET.

He screamed like crazy and the grandma walked away, yelling at him in a language we didn't understand. We watched as she walked away, taking the two other kids with her, and the little boy eventually let go and followed her, crying, to an apartment building. We wrote down the address and walked to a payphone, where we called 1.800.4ACHILD, an abuse-reporting hotline we had heard about.

We told them what we saw, described the kids and the grandma, and expected that was all we'd ever know. Interestingly, a caseworker from the local CPS actually called me a few days later to tell me that he had been to the house to check out the kids. He said he had walked in and the baby had been wearing just a diaper, was very fair skinned, and had no visible marks on her. He talked to the little boy and girl, who spoke very little English, and was convinced that this was either an isolated incident or at worst an uncommon occurence, but that the grandma had been warned that she was reported, and they had scheduled a followup visit in a few months.

I was so glad I'd called. It's not always a futile exercise, and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.
post #114 of 151
Hmmmm, why am I reading this??? Because it let's me know that when my heart hurts for someone or something, it means I am normal. MDC let's me read about things and feel things that society closes away and instead forces porn and women as objects on TV down our throats. And so I flip that channel, here I don't need to "flip the channel" here people care!

Years ago, I was looking for a spot to park at a store, I witnessed a man slam his fist through an open car window into a woman's face, knocking her back while her children (3 of them) watched. I was immediately on my way, driving my car at him, by the time I got to a point that he realized what was going to possibly happen, he had hit the little boy across the face knocking him back, for what appeared to be his objections to this man abusing his mother.

I chased the man with my little Nissan across the parking lot, into a ditch, he crossed it, I caught up on the street across from it and chased him into a developement. He hid between apts. I called out to someone out in the front yard to call 911 NOW! and they did, I turned around, went back to the parking lot and got the women and her children, gave my slurpy to the child to put on his now bruised face and took them to the scene of their abuser being arrested after I, ID'd him. They were taken to a shelter and given a safe home and she is now supporting herself, her 3 children and has a wonderful new husband.

Do I regret having gotten involved? %&(( no! Would I do it again, yes! And have done many things similar since and will continue. So for the 10 people that pass by as if nothing is happening, there will always be someone who cares, BUT will it be before or after it is too late? Call me a busy body or whatever, considering, I don't look out to see why the sirens are in my developement, I don't call and tell my friend, "oh did you hear what happen to so-and-so?" I mind my own, but if it's abuse, it's abuse and I draw MY line there. I don't think I would like it if someone, "smacked me in the back of the head" for stepping on their foot, than again I am a lot bigger than a 3-4 year old. Someone has to stand up for them...

My apologies to those I offend and for ranting BUT, I stopped crying a long time ago and got mad instead.

Love to all of you and the children that loose the silent battle and those make it even when no one intercedes.
post #115 of 151
5thfromheaven, your story made me cry in a way the others haven't yet. My mom was a safe haven for her friends and acquaintances in abusive situations, something that sprang from her having been abused by my dad, and having the San Jose police not give a rat's behind about it no matter how many times she called. Even though she still wasn't entirely safe from him (once their marriage was a few years over he stopped that sort of thing, and later marrying a woman almost as tall and strong as him stopped the abuse with him, interestingly) she still opened our door to women needing a short-term place to stay. Not quite the same situation, but from the same place of caring.

*****
My little story just shows how children can get so used to being abused that it's hardly a big deal anymore.

Young 20s brand new to Spartanburg SC for chiropractic school, exploring the "other" side of town to go to WalMart, a place I'd never been to before. While walking up and down the aisles in awe of the number of things all in one place (I swear I lived in a big city! I'd been to a Target! But nothing as big as this WM, and it wasn't, yet, even a "supercenter" WalMart), I heard a smack from another aisle, and then this little boy (I think) saying slowly...."Mama, would you quit beatin' on me?"

Made me sad, it did.
post #116 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollyeilis
and then this little boy (I think) saying slowly...."Mama, would you quit beatin' on me?"

Made me sad, it did.
That made me cry just imagining it. I wish I had been there...

Esmeralda<------Does this make me a vigilante???
post #117 of 151
My story has haunted me for a long time.

My X his brother and a few friends and I were on our way camping and to the renissance (SP?) festivel we stoppe at a Tops close to the camp ground to pick up a few of those "ohh we should have takens' " and we pulled right next to this car (now mind you it is at least 80 and humid to the point of discusting. I look over and see this little girl at the most 2 1/2 years old in a car she was eighter not strapped in her seat or got herself out. She was full of sweat and with curly bleach blond hair stuck to her face pounding on the car window. X and his brother stopped me from trying to take her out of the car. We waited for about a few minutes to se if anyone was coming. No one came. I gort out of our car and told her that it was okay I would go get help. So X's brother and I went in the store while X waited to see if anyone would come and not let them leave. We told the store amnager who just looked at us and said what do you want me to do I said what do you think call the police there is a baby in a car windows up it is feaking 80 degrees out if you don't want to do it give me the phone! (no one had a cell) so he called and we waited until the police came the mother ofr whoever wa not out by the time they got there but they took the baby out and gave her water. But her little face will never get out of my mind. I never spoke of it after that day it was very helpful and theraputic to get it out I never found out what happened but at least I know that something did happen. I hope she is happy and healthy with someone who truely loves her. I mean she didn't eve have a window cracked for her!

Thanks for the thread
Karen and baby Joe
post #118 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by JA'sMama
My story has haunted me for a long time.

My X his brother and a few friends and I were on our way camping and to the renissance (SP?) festivel we stoppe at a Tops close to the camp ground to pick up a few of those "ohh we should have takens' " and we pulled right next to this car (now mind you it is at least 80 and humid to the point of discusting. I look over and see this little girl at the most 2 1/2 years old in a car she was eighter not strapped in her seat or got herself out. She was full of sweat and with curly bleach blond hair stuck to her face pounding on the car window. X and his brother stopped me from trying to take her out of the car. We waited for about a few minutes to se if anyone was coming. No one came. I gort out of our car and told her that it was okay I would go get help. So X's brother and I went in the store while X waited to see if anyone would come and not let them leave. We told the store amnager who just looked at us and said what do you want me to do I said what do you think call the police there is a baby in a car windows up it is feaking 80 degrees out if you don't want to do it give me the phone! (no one had a cell) so he called and we waited until the police came the mother ofr whoever wa not out by the time they got there but they took the baby out and gave her water. But her little face will never get out of my mind. I never spoke of it after that day it was very helpful and theraputic to get it out I never found out what happened but at least I know that something did happen. I hope she is happy and healthy with someone who truely loves her. I mean she didn't eve have a window cracked for her!

Thanks for the thread
Karen and baby Joe
Karen, you very well may have saved that little girl's life.
post #119 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nora'sMama
Karen, you very well may have saved that little girl's life.
I have thought that a few times. I always wondered if X's brother and I didn't go in that store if anyone else would have done anything. A few people while we waited a few minutes just look at her and walk by not batting an eye:

Karen and Baby Joe
post #120 of 151

for Rivka and I will lose respect here for this but its ok

I was not always AP but most here know that. THat I wish I had known about it when my 19 yr old was young. I was parented mainstream and he was for a while too (old thread somewhere where i asked mom WHY didyou do that to me and him and she said because your grandparents did it to me)

Rivka said "I just really don't understand the motivation."

I read threads like this because it reminds me how far I have come and how far I still have to go And that there are still mamas out there that speak up for the kids that were like me ...
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