this one I can see -some of us felt the same way until we had
Originally Posted by PinkPixie
I was at the foodcourt in the mall, and the parents of a 3yo were bribbing him with money to finish his hot dogs???
Huh? I'll bribe you money to eat junk? Please...someone give the child some vegetables!
SID kids. You might check the SID threads here and in SN..
its quite possible they were desperate to get *something* even if it wasn't the best nutritionally in him and that was something in the past they could get him to eat. USAmama can give more insight on this. I know you would have cringed at me a few years ago with ds and chicken nuggets but since you wouldn't have known the medical history I wouldn't have cared..."
Thank you for posting this. I could have easily been that parent (though we don't usually go to the mall, and we don't give our kids money). My dd was g-tube fed for a long time. And she is a SID kid (with resolved severe silent reflux) And a hotdog is one of the two or three things that she will actually eat. She's the size of a large two year old and she's four and a half. Most people think she is much younger. And believe me, after a g-tube, I'll take hotdog any day. I used to give her clothes away at the end of each season--I deluded myself into thinking that she would be a size larger the next time the season were to come along. After doing this for a couple of years, I finally had to face reality and keep all of her clothes--I know she will be back in 2 and 3Ts this fall, even as she approaches the age of 5. How bad is it when a parent gives the clothes away in hopes that the child won't need them the next time the season rolls around? That was me!
I didn't read many of these posts, but I have to say that I really have had some bad days that I wish I could have taken back as a parent.
And some of them have been bad days in the public eye--when I could not avoid being in public. Especially during the tube days.
And I don't recall ever feeling such a deep sense shame in my employment (before my children were born and when I was working) when I did something stupid or something that I later regretted as an employee for a company.
But parenting is the one place where people feel like it's OK to shame or degrade a parent (especially a mother!) for something that they've done.
Granted, some of these situations are probably really bad (I haven't read them all, just a couple here and there), but sometimes I don't think that as parents we (meaning anyone "we") don't know what to do to correct ourselves so that we can do better. I love the Oprah comment: when you know better, you do better.
Yes, there are books and classes that you can take to improve your parenting skills, but there are so many mixed messages thrown out there (CIO, don't CIO, spank, don't spank, etc.) that parents (especially those are ill-equipped with life skills in general) may not know what to do, how to start, and how to be consistent in their approach to raising their children.
Some of these people came from poor role models and are repeating what they know. That seems to be what happens with many people when they find themselves in situations in which they do not have the skills to change the outcome.
I am not saying that people should not be held accountable for what they do--I just sometimes think that we all have such high expectations for what others should do (without knowing their life skill level, common sense level, emotional IQ, etc.) that we sometimes forget that MOST parents (even the really bad ones) are really doing the best they can.
Anyway--it's that same tone that I see in the posts of feeding kids junk food, etc. Come to my house, and g-tube feed my kid for a few years (which is lovely if you have to do it in public; God forbid you should see the horrible looks people give you--I don't know if they aren't sure what they are seeing or just horrified at seeing a kid with a tube sticking out of their tummy) and then post away about how bad I am as a parent because I'm so happy when my kid eats a hotdog and a few tortilla chips. And I call it a good meal!