What's the most shocking thing you've ever seen another parent do? - Page 2

[ShelFish]

When I was in college I worked at the college bookstore as an undercover security guard. One guy we busted had his 4 or 5yo son with him while he was collecting new books off the shelves and selling them back to the store during the end of the semester buy-back. Poor kid had to hang out in the security office while we took the guy's statement ("They're mine! I got them sometime last year from a friend . . . ") and called the police to arrest him. The whole time he was crying and asking, "Daddy, can we go now?"

I later worked in the same store as a cashier and heard a mom tell a little girl (2 or 3) that she was going to throw her in the garbage.

[ChrisCountryGirl]

While I was in college, I used the bus transit system. I couldn't believe the number of parents who let their YOUNG kids just wander around & I see parents who repeatedly smack/yell at their kids (even the little ones, like 1-2yrs. old)

[CryPixie83]

Originally Posted by mothragirl

i saw a woman punch a crying baby while it was strapped into a carseat

oh my ... punch??? a baby? wtf? why? and how many people pummeled her afterwards?

[CryPixie83]

Oh, last month at WalMart (my granny gets her Rx there, otherwise I avoid the place) DH and I see this family and one of the kids is about 10 years old and has an obvious hearing/speech problem (wearing a huge hearing aid, and she spoke like a deaf person- you know how they can't hear themselves so they sound different?) Well, the girl is trying to tell her mom something, is obviously excited about it and the mom just says "whatever" in a really nasty tone and walks the other way. My DH just turned to me with this look on his face like he was going to be sick and all we could say was "that was just wrong".

[sweetangelbrynlie]

The most shocking thing I have ever seen a parent do was yesterday evening. My sisters husbands brother had his daughter for visitation and was dog drunk and walked 12 miles with his two year old to visit my sister and her husband (this would be this guys brother)

The child is 2 years old and he walked down a dangerous road drunk with her right beside crazy fast cars whizzing by! The police got him, finally found the little girls mother. I still can't believe he did THAT! He has never done anything like this before EVER. He doesn't even drink! I guess he decided to yesterday. I swear he has been an awesome dad until now, he just screwed up badly!!

[eminer]

I think mine was a woman at the park who was "helping" her son learn to ride a bike. She kept shouting at him, and saying, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Dh went over and said something to her, and she ended up shouting for the benefit of the park in general, "This man wants to tell me how to teach my child!"

[Tonia80]

OMG i cannot handle to even read these without feeling the need to cry, vomit and hit someone bvery hard. (and I am an extreme pacifist) I cannot tolerate crap like this and probably would have flown off teh handle if had seen some of thsi stuff in person. Christ, I don't even keep my nmouth shut if I see a mom slap the hand of a toddler. (though I say it nicely) If I saw someone scream at a child or punch a baby.......hoo boy, all bets would be off. Personally I think people liek that need to be treated the same way. The same way I think rapists ought to be locked in a cell with a big guy named Bubba.......
I think parents who have kids naturally ought to go through teh same screening process as adoptive moms. Notthat it would prevent this all but maybe with that and some parenting classes it could help.......
Ugh. Disgusting. I mean, I have had overwhelming moments while dealing with PPD when I found myslef yelling at my children but I caught on real quick how messed up it was and got help. I guess in that sense I can understand how some of these moms snap, though I in no way am excusing it. I just feel so sad for the kids who have to live lik this and assume a certain way of looking at themselves within all of it. as if they really are to blame. So sad.

[Storm Bride]

A screening process? I've heard that before, but I don't think so. I can't even imagine having a government bureaucracy - and that's who it would be - deciding who is or isn't an appropriate parent. You want to bet that abusive rich people would be given the seal of approval, and lower income breastfeeding co-sleepers wouldn't be? I suspect that saying you weren't going to vax would be enough to lose your permission...

[mothragirl]

Originally Posted by CryPixie83

oh my ... punch??? a baby? wtf? why? and how many people pummeled her afterwards?

i was the only one who saw it. it was when i was 14. the baby had been crying in the store. when i left the store i walked by her putting the baby in the carseat and then she punched it. with a closed fist. then she got in her car and drove away. i just stood there crying, i didn't know what to do. i would handle the situation VERY differently now.

[bohemama]

The most shocking thing I've ever seen a mom do to her DD was flick her in the mouth: The little girl (about 3 at the time) was sort of talking back to the mom and that's how the mom "nips it in the bud". Apparently this is something she does on a regular basis when her DD says something that the mom doesn't like.

[Llyra]

I once heard a mama say to a kindergarten child, "Get your f---- ass over here right now, boy." That was lovely, but it doesn't beat the mama who came into the first grade class I was teaching, after her daughter had been kinda mischievous for a few days and I'd called home. The mama came in with a leather strap and got up in front of the class and told the whole class that she was going to come in the next day and beat her child in front of the whole class if her child got in trouble again.

Well, the child had bad days now and again, but you can bet your bottom dollar I never called the mama ever again.

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

A screening process? I've heard that before, but I don't think so. I can't even imagine having a government bureaucracy - and that's who it would be - deciding who is or isn't an appropriate parent. You want to bet that abusive rich people would be given the seal of approval, and lower income breastfeeding co-sleepers wouldn't be? I suspect that saying you weren't going to vax would be enough to lose your permission...

I agree. I admit, I give my 1.5 yo pop on occasion if we are eating and she asks me for some of mine. Never a lot, but a couple of sips. It hasn't killed her yet. But who is to decide what is normal/good parenting? Bottlefeeding is apparently the norm in america, most bottlefeeders (99.9%) that I know think that I'm a bad parent/disgusting because of it. Are these the people who would decide I shouldn't be a parent?

Anywho, I have seen lots of examples of bad parenting. Mainly by my own mother who regularly left my brothers with random people in roach and meth infested houses for days so that she could go cook some up out of town. I had moved out by this time and was working 60+ hours a week or I would've got them out of there.

I worked in special education for a couple of months and you would not believe some of the most disgusting parents. One mom and dad of a 7 yo with cp and cystic fibrosis amongst other problems really sticks out in my head. They were alcoholic drug addicts who couldn't work. They had 6 kids and they regularly spent their welfare money or any possible wages on the bars and drugs so that their electricity would get turned off and their son's ventilators would stop working for his lung treatments.

Of all the ones I know, they probably get my crappy parents of the year award.

[Pandora114]

Originally Posted by dnw826

I agree. I admit, I give my 1.5 yo pop on occasion

I read that as "I give my 1.5 yo a pop on occasion" : I so need new glasses.....

I'm not the most stellar parent on this planet. trust me on this...

I've only seen a mom smack her child upside the head for screaming like a banshee....

[~member~]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

A screening process? I've heard that before, but I don't think so....

: I do think there should be more free parenting classes available to parents. In my last town, they wanted $180 for 1 class!!!! they did NOT offer daycare nor food, only an 'educator' who gave a speech.

In the city where I live, I attend a parenting group that is free, they actually pay us to attend in gift cards for Target and Rainbow foods, they provide dinner and playtime/daycare while parents meet and talk. Not only do we get to learn how to become better parents, but we are also encouraged to support one another in becoming 'good' parents, kwim?

[kate~mom]

this whole thread is so sad.

[veganf]

Without spending a long time thinking about this...fairly recently, the neighbor's 3 year old standing on top of their jacuzzi, (which is near the edge of their deck probably 10 feet off the ground) naked, wielding a garden weasel. Nobody ever came out to stop him. He must have had that thing for 15 minutes, waving it around like a light saber.

[veganf]

Originally Posted by Joannarachel

Pre-child, I was at a BBQ with a bunch of DOCTORS. There was a woman and her husband there, both doctors, with their ten month old baby. DID I MENTION THEY WERE DOCTORS?!?!?!

When they were getting ready to leave, one of the other people asked how the baby does in his car seat on the way home, and the mother (WHO, IN CASE I FORGOT TO MENTION, IS A DOCTOR), responded, "Oh, he's fine, I just nurse him while DH drives and when he falls alseep I put him in the carseat."

DID I MENTION THEY WERE BOTH DOCTORS?!? :

The most incompetent unknowledgeable babysitter we've ever had was a friend who is also an M.D. who volunteered to babysit. Never again! I'll hire the 15 year old down the street!

[Storm Bride]

MITB: That sounds like a great program. I don't know if there's anything like that around here or not, but it sounds much more useful than screening prospective parents!

Not most shocking, but...worst parent award in my life goes to my ex. He used to yell (inluding swearing) at ds1 for asking for lunch when my ex was playing a videogame, banished ds1 downstairs so he could smoke pot in the living room (until I caught him), neglected to feed ds1, wouldn't pick ds1 up from the babysitter's when he got off work, etc.

I got a call from ds1's school while I was at work one day. They wanted to know if he was sick, because he hadn't shown up - he was in first grade. I called home (my ex was off that day), and nobody answered. I called my sister (she lived downstairs at that time), so she went up to check on things. DS1 was sitting on the couch watching tv in his underwear. She went and pounded on our bedroom door, and woke my ex up, then let me know. I called him and asked him to send ds1 to school for the afternoon. He said, "sure". I called the school afterwards to see if ds1 had shown up, and he hadn't. My ex told me that he didn't see the point, since he'd already missed the morning. When I got home at 6:30 that evening, ds1 asked me for something to eat, because his dad hadn't given him anything all day. The reason my ex wasn't up to get ds1 ready for school? He'd stayed up late playing Ultima Online.

He hasn't so much as called ds1 in over a year. He spent about three years promising him expensive gifts every Christmas and birthday, then not following through. He's totally abandoned ds1, and I can't help thinking my son's better off that way..

[Rivka5]

Every time I see a thread like this, I wonder: what's this for? Why do people get so excited about sharing horror stories about how AWFUL parents can be? Why do you enjoy reading this stuff enough to deliberately seek it out?

I'm a psychologist, and when I was a child my family fostered abused children. So yeah, I've seen some awful things, and I've heard some terrible stories. But why would I haul them out and put them on exhibit here? They are not instructive. They are not helpful. Telling horror stories and having everybody shake their heads and say "how awful" does not do one single thing to make anything better for anyone.

I just really don't understand the motivation.

[Storm Bride]

Well...for me, it helps me a lot with my tendency to beat myself up and think I'm the worst mother in the world. I expect myself to be endlessly patient, on the ball, organized and able to gently, calmly and rationally handle every situation that comes along. When I can't, I beat the tar out of myself. So...when I read about someone punching their infant, it helps me keep some perspective on my screw-ups, yk? I still don't think I'm a great mom, but it reminds me that I could be doing a lot worse than I am...and sometimes I need that reminder to keep me centered.