Of course it's another boy - Page 2

[Islay]

Jane, (forgive me for addressing you by that name if you would rather not, but when I saw another poster use it, I so needed to use it, too).

I don't doubt for a moment that their little boy is loved dearly, but it distresses me SO much that anyone is caused the despair and sorrow that you have experienced. Is there a real bond of affection between your husband and his brother? I ask because if I think about the bond my brothers and I have, it is so much easier to discuss such delicate subjects.

I wish I could talk to your brother-in-law. I'm in a position to know what his sons will loose.

Your thread has hit me like few have before. My heart is with you, just as those who have posted before me.

Christopher

[Quirky]

My dh and his brother aren't close...friendly, but distant. They're only 16 months apart in age but worlds apart in personalities and character. There was a LOT of friction growing up, and although they're past that now they aren't close and don't have much in common beyond genetics.

I was so happy with my dh for taking on this issue with his brother the first time around. My dh is by no stretch of the imagination an intactivist....the closest he's ever come is that he thinks circ without anesthesia is barbaric but really, when it comes right down to it he thinks "circ is a parent's choice" and "there are worse things that parents do to their children." But he tried so hard to persuade his brother to keep their son intact. To no avail.

I really think in this instance BIL MIGHT have been persuadable, but I think SIL would have insisted on circ as a marker for class status. I will bet my last dollar that her family (old money) would have flipped completely had they kept their son intact.

I have to spend a week on vacation with all the circers on dh's side of the family in a couple of weeks....of the four (soon to be five) boys on that side, three families besides ours, ds is (and will be) the only intact one. I really hope the subject of circ doesn't come up, because I do not know if I will be able to resist the compulsion to GO OFF on them. Not that it would do any good.

[firstkid4me]

What are their reasons or are they just doing it because it's their choice and that's what they're going to do?

[Quirky]

And now I'm off to spend our vacation with them and the whole circing, scheduling, FFing, CIO family, in side-by-side cottages....oh joy.

This is weighing so heavily on my mind - I have 99.99% confidence that they will circ their son no matter what I say. My SIL and I have never been friends and have never clicked, so I think if I say something it will only harden their resolve...yet how can I be silent? How can I not say something, even though I know no one in the family will back me up and my dh will be pissed that I'm tilting at this windmill and possibly destroying family harmony on vacation?

My dh tried, and failed, to convince them to keep their older ds intact. I think they will circ for social conformity reasons because it would be a "gross, lower class" thing to keep their son intact. Plus they've already got one circed and I'm sure he's "just fine."

: : :

[Lula's Mom]

Play it by ear, you can't do anything else. It sounds like a horrible vacation. I really feel for you.

[hummingbear]

[TigerTail]

'going off' is highly underrated. we do it a lot hereabouts. have fun, really, if it comes up, well... they have it coming.

[Islay]

I hope Quirky is coping, poor dear...

Good point, Tiger... as you said, try to enjoy the holiday and meet the circ matter if it comes up.

Christopher