Most anti-circ book for new parents?

[SleeplessMommy]

My cousin ___ is having a boy in August. These cousins are conservative, comformist, etc. 15 (or so) of child bearing age live in the same conservative state. But not me I escaped!

I know one of them had her son circed. "She sat outside the room and cried the whole time" her grandma said. With the rest, I just do not ask :-( And they are also very sensitive to being told what to do, especially this pregnant cousin. And all their parents will be telling them what to do. The MIL and FIL nagged my poor cousin for 2+ years that it was time to breed because they wanted a grandchild. All of them are nuts!

So I am thinking she needs a baby book, maybe Sears or someone else? Do any of them actually come right out and say circ is a dumb and risky idea for your son? Who says it most strongly?

Thanks, sleeplessMommy

[paquerette]

I saw a pregnancy book not too long ago, in Kmart of all places, that had a pretty strong anti-circ one-page blurb. I wanna say it was Sheila Kitzingers, but I'm not sure.

I think Sears is pretty wishy-washy.

[Quirky]

There's a sleep book by Dr. Paul Fleiss (author of some of the Mothering articles about circ as well as What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Circumcision) called Sweet Dreams that slips in a great anti-circ message.

Mothering's Having a Baby, Naturally is also anti-circ. But pretty crunchy!

If you want to be direct, I think a pamphlet from Nocirc or the Mothering reprint might be your best bet. Something short, sweet, and to the point.

Are they religious? You might get there through the religious angle...

[Belle]

Sheila Kitzinger's book does have an anti-circ blurb but it's pretty dry.

I really like the one that's in Birthing from Within. It has the usual no-circ info, but then the books co-author tells one of his personal stories about talking with his son. It's written from the perspective of a cut father talking to his intact son about why they're different. I really felt that it was powerful and will help with the "locker room" argument.

[frontierpsych]

I second Paul Fleiss. He's pretty awesome about that kind of stuff.

[trmpetplaya]

Originally Posted by Belle

Sheila Kitzinger's book does have an anti-circ blurb but it's pretty dry.

I really like the one that's in Birthing from Within. It has the usual no-circ info, but then the books co-author tells one of his personal stories about talking with his son. It's written from the perspective of a cut father talking to his intact son about why they're different. I really felt that it was powerful and will help with the "locker room" argument.

Yes. I liked that one too! I also make copies of all the Mothering articles on circ (I got them from a friend who has been getting Mothering since the 70s) and I have a packet that I give people. I'm very up front about it :

love and peace.

[pdx.mothernurture]

"The Complete Book of Pregnancy & Childbirth" by Sheila Kitzinger is full of beautiful photography and the information on circumcision very much leans towared leaving your baby whole. There *IS* a picture of an intact newborn on page 374, where it's explaining how babies are measured, weighed, and tested for hip dislocation. There are *NO* pictures of circumcised babies/penises.

The information on circumcision provided is relatively brief, but it is extremely anti. I'm going to give a few quotes and provide a summary so as not to cause copyright-issues.

She begins with, "Circumcision is an unnecessary operation. It can be dangerous, too." (She follows this with some of the more frightening risks, like excessive bleeding, infection, irreparable damage, and death.)

She moves on to, "Newborn babies feel pain. In fact, they may feel it more acutely than adults. An adult knows that the pain caused by an operation will end. A baby cannot know this."

She explains few doctors still defend circumcision as medically necessary and theorizes about why they have been slow to criticize it. She talks about circumcised men wanting to circumcised sons because they don't feel it did they any harm and mentions social conformity issues. She even touches on and compares some of the reasoning between male circ and FGM.

She gives brief (but accurate) information on foreskin functions and care.

She discourages religious circ and encourages alternative, cut-free baby naming ceremonies.

The quote she highlights for the page is, "WE WERE UNDER PRESSURE FROM OUR PARENTS TO CIRCUMICSE HIM. WE DID RESEARCH AND DECIDED WE COULD NOT DO THIS TO OUR CHILD."

Here's a quote from pg. 379:

"Circumcision is an unnecessary operation. It can be dangerous, too. It may result in excessive bleeding or infection. Sometimes the penis is damaged irreparably. Some babies have to be rushed to an intensive care unit because of complications. Occasionally a baby dies."

...

"Newborn babies feel pain. In fact, they may feel it more acutely than adults. An adult knows that the pain caused by an operation will end. A baby cannot know this. Amputation of the foreskin, even if it is done with local anesthetic, is an intensely painful and traumatic procedure. It is true that some babies do not cry during circumcision. They are too deeply shocked to do so. Instead they withdraw. Whether a baby cries inconsolably or is overwhelmed by shock, he as a raw and painful scar afterward. He is often so distressed that there are feeding problems, and a woman who longed to breastfeed may be unable to do so..."

[Ilaria]

I was going to suggest Kitzinger's book as well. It is NOT a crunchy book and it looks totally mainstream, so it won't turn her off if she's not into 'our stuff'

[christifav]

Is Dr. Fleiss' book exclusively pro-co-sleeping? I would like to give his book to a mainstream friend of mine, but if it doesn't include options for independent-sleeping parents then I'm afraid she won't read any of it and will write the whole thing off as "hippy hooie".