Addressing the Special Needs of Gifted Children, #9

[OTMomma]

A new thread for all parents who have gifted children, or think their kids might be gifted. This is a safe place to chat, exchange ideas and even do a little bragging without being told "No, way! A child of that age can't do THAT"

Please do a brief reintro of you and your dc, as I think there have been many new faces lately.

[OTMomma]

I'm Laura, Mom to Mya who is 3.75 will be 4 in July. I'm not sure how gifted Mya is- but she has great problem solving and interpersonal skills. She can type her name and a few other words on the computer- she loves the computer.

We are currently homeschooling and plan to continue that path for the next few years. I like the unschooling theory, but we are also doing the Five in a Row books right now- since dd loves being read to, she's really enjoying the program.

[psyche]

I'm Deirdre, mother to ds1 who just turned 4 years old & ds2 who's ten weeks old.

I don't have much information about ds2 yet, although he has been sticking out his tongue when I ask him where his tongue is for over a month (stupid baby tricks, I guess). I also think he's beginning to sign "milk."

Ds1 is a high-energy, high-needs kid. He's not only good at problem solving but he also has a frighteningly good memory. Last week, for example, I found a kid spoon that I'd tucked into an odd spot after a picnic at least a year ago. I rinsed it off & gave it to him, telling him that I just found his cat spoon. He looked at it for a second before saying, "Toronto cat spoon." My jaw just about hit the floor because we did buy it in Toronto.... two years ago. He's always coming up with these random memories of rather inconsequential things that happened long ago, yet he usually can't count reliably through the teens each time so he's a maddening contradiction. (We're raising him bilingual & he's been a bit behind the normal language curve. Also, I suspect he enjoys driving me nuts by stumbling over "13" - if only he'd use his brains for good rather than evil.) He just finished his first year at a Montessori school, which has been a really wonderful fit for him.

[ChristaN]

I'm Christa, mom to two girls who will be 8 and 6 this fall. My older dd has been formally identified as gifted through her school and independent testing that we had done. She is a very uneven kiddo, tempermental, intense, wonderful, but challenging. My younger dd has not been assessed and I do not know if she is gifted. I am assuming that it is likely, though, given that she started speaking at 5.5 months and generally has developed on a similar curve dd#1.

[Cinder]

Originally Posted by OTMomma

Wow, Cinder- it sounds like whatever you have been doing is working fine for Janelle. You may have some hard choices to make in the future- about wether to homeschool or skip grades or other things like that- but you don't have to do any of it this week. If it were me, I would look for another alternative to headstart- Headstart might work out fine. But some gifted children are a really bad fit for programs like that that are teaching things way below their level- some kids are bored others have problems socializing with their peers. I would try to find a friend or grandparent who can keep her, if after going to headstart a few times you realize its a bad fit.

I don't have any friends that SAH and mil was just diagnosed with cancer Friday, so that's out and my mom lives 3 hours away right now and is moving 7 hours away in August...I chose headstart just cause it's in the same building as the Early Intervention program, so I'll still be there, just not in the class room with her (*I* might have a tad seperation anxiety problem here... ). If it weren't for Caid (my son) I have always planned on homeschooling, it's just that I'm not qualified in the slightes to be an OT, ST, or special ed teacher and he needs all of that right now...I was ok with Janelle just going with us to his classes, but he seriously didn't get anything out of them since Janelle was always right there answering for him, helping him, etc...

[Cinder]

I'm Jillian, 26, 27 in August. DH is Ryan, also 26, 27 in July. We are parents to two great kids. Janelle Ashlynn is 3 and will be 4 in September. Kincaid Chance was 2 in March.

We've been through a lot with Caid...he talked and signed really early, like first real word at 6 months, around 20 words by 9 months. Then at 10 months he started having seizures and completely stopped talking, signing, everything. By 18 months he had around 2 words...now he has about 30, but things like "EYE" means "I want to colour with crayons"...so only things DH and I can understand, and no signs. He also has cognitive delays and SID which he gets OT for. We have his seizures mostly under control with medications, but every time he gains weight he has seizures again till we adjust the dose.

Janelle is a basically healthy little girl...she has an official diagnoses of ADHD and OCD...she had severe sleep apnea but we have (hopefully, we won't get the true results to her follow up sleep study for another couple of weeks) corrected that with a tonsilectomy. We've also dealt with Failure to Thrive off and on her whole life, and at 3 3/4 years old she is 28lbs and 37"...She's a brilliant kid, taught herself to read, add, and subtract, knows over 300 signs (she wants to speak sign language...)...just loves to learn and is always coming up with something new and shocking us all.

[loraxc]

Mom to "Froglet," almost 2.5. Froglet is currently figuring out addition and subtraction and has become obsessed with poetry. She is constantly memorizing new poems and reciting them, and also plays with the words a lot and changes them around in entertaining ways. She is also very interested in rhyme and rhyming right now, and continues to have an off-again, on-again interest in sounding out words. AND she is very busy being a very challenging 2yo, too.

I am currently desperately looking for inexpensive ways for us to get out of the house and with people more, as we have belatedly realized that she is an extrovert at heart and needs more contact with people to be happy.

[*Lisa*]

Hi. I'm Lisa, Mom to 3 1/2 year old Sarah. I don't know if she's "officially" gifted or not, but she's definitely academically precocious

She is currently in a workbook phase--we've been spending hours a day working on those workbooks that you can buy in discount stores. The most recent one we've been working through is for second graders, and that seems to be about the right level for a lot of things (although she doesn't have the writing ability to write her own answers yet). I'm pretty tired of workbooks, so I'll be glad when she's ready to move out of this workbook phase We've also been spending a lot of time doing Mad Libs.

Sarah's a really sensitive kid. I'll be in the middle of reading what seemed to be an innocuous book, and she'll break down in tears.

[alegna]

Angela, mom to Savannah. 22 months. She's been sight-reading a handful of words since around 18 months. She's currently up to around 20-25 with some that are hit and miss. Recognizes all letters and numbers up to 20. Understands the concept of numbers up to 5 I think- still figuring that out.

The silly goose LOVES flashcards. Oh if you knew what an anti-flashcard person I am. I abhor them. I looked forever for words and simple pictures together when she started recognizing words, because she loved print. Ended up with a set of flashcards. She BEGS to play with her cards with mom or dad. Sigh.

-Angela

[OTMomma]

Originally Posted by Cinder

I don't have any friends that SAH and mil was just diagnosed with cancer Friday, so that's out and my mom lives 3 hours away right now and is moving 7 hours away in August...I chose headstart just cause it's in the same building as the Early Intervention program, so I'll still be there, just not in the class room with her (*I* might have a tad seperation anxiety problem here... ). If it weren't for Caid (my son) I have always planned on homeschooling, it's just that I'm not qualified in the slightes to be an OT, ST, or special ed teacher and he needs all of that right now...I was ok with Janelle just going with us to his classes, but he seriously didn't get anything out of them since Janelle was always right there answering for him, helping him, etc...

Sorry my suggestion didn't help. I do totally understand not having your dd at the therapy sessions, and it sounds like she may not need to spend a very long time at the headstart anyway, as she can come and go when you come and go for therapy.

[Cate]

Hi, I'm Catherine, I just lurked on the last thread, but since we're doing introductions I thought I'd say 'hi'.
Jenna will be 4 in july... She's never been officially declared gifted... She knew her colours at 9 months, read her first words, and started learning to identify and write her letters at 18 months. Then she started learning phonics at about age 2, and learned to sound out words. She's recently gone into denial though, and refuses to admit she can read (though she sounded out gingerbreadman for my mother this weekend). She's currently going through a math phase, and has become obsessed with addition and subtraction, and has figured out the pattern to counting, so can count easily and recognise numbers into the hundreds.
Callum doesn't seem to have the academic prowess of his sister (though he just turned 1 this week, so I suppose I should give it time), however, he's started singing, and playing the piano with a deliberation that I've never seen even Jenna use. He has a natural sence of rhythem and can tap out the beat to any song he hears. He also loves to draw. I guess he's my artsy type .
I'm very glad to have found this thread.

[eilonwy]

Wow, there are lots of new people on this thread!

I'm Rynna, 28 (I'm nearly thirty! I find that so amusing...), mom to BeanBean, 3.5; BooBah, 2 on Saturday, and Bella, nearly 3 months. I'm also (once again) homeschooling my nice ChibiChibi (9) and will hopefully have her sister, BizzyBug (nearly 6), too. I'm absolutely smitten with them, I just think that they're the most wonderful people on Earth! None of these children has been formally identified as gifted, but I still believe that every one of them is, for loads of reasons. I could be entirely wrong, but I don't think so.

BeanBean-- started speaking *very* early, and hasn't shut up yet. Right now, we're working on improving reading skills (he's not what I'd call a fluent reader at this point) with a blend of explicit phonics and sight words. He's very into math right now, and I'm looking forward to starting Miquon with him and his cousins. We did Singapore sporadically last year (last year was a *mess* around this house, for too many reasons to discuss here), but he still seemed to pick up a ridiculous amount of information. My goal for him this year (as far as I'm concerned, the "school year" begins July 1st) is to find a Suzuki teacher who's willing to barter services. I think he'd really love playing an instrument. He also says that he wants to take a cheerleading class, and if I can find an inexpensive place to take a 3 or 4 year old boy for cheerleading lessons, I'll sign him up.

BooBah-- She's not as verbally adept as BeanBean, nor as extroverted. Very advanced physically, she's a bit of a daredevil and does things which absolutely *horrify* other parents on the playground. I work very hard not to laugh when another mother *freaks* out at something which BooBah has been doing for a year or, in some cases, longer. BooBah can write several letters, recognizes almost all of them (she has trouble with "M" and "N," she mixes them up, etc), and loves to count and sing. When BeanBean is working on reading, BooBah will often come and join us. She's learned a lot this way! It's very cool to watch. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she started reading next year, but, as with everything else, it will have to be on her own terms. BooBah's currently potty learning. It's a lot easier now that I've learned the secret: she hates the "baby potty," and wants to use the toilet "aw by MYSEWF!!"

Even though she has loads of words, I have concerns about her hearing so BooBah is going to be evaluated by Early Intervention. I could be crazy, but better to find out sooner than later, right?

Bella-- Super cute and mini! She's interactive and fun, but still just a bitty bit of person. By this age, her brother and sister each had several milestones under their belts; Bella is following her own path. Right now she makes pre-speech sounds, and grins like crazy when she wakes up in the morning. I'm casually working on EC with her, and she's really amazing about communicating her needs. I think that if she could see a bit better, she'd have picked up a few signs by now. (BeanBean and BooBah both refused to sign; when I tried showing BeanBean "milk," he said, "Yes, I want a nursie." When I signed with BooBah, she laughed at me and said the word, but made her own hand motions for *me* to copy. ) Bella will see an opthamologist next week.

ChibiChibi-- My oldest niece, and a sweet girl with a mess of a life story. She's extremely bright, but when she becomes bored she puts her brilliant mind to fascinating and occasionally destructive use. Very charismatic, children inevitably follow her around wherever we happen to be. She says that she "hates school but loves homeschooling," and has refused to take a break from formal academics despite having loads of fun summer activities to occupy her. Last week I took her and my children to the state park, where they had a fabulous time. When we got home, ChibiChibi wanted to do "homework." I told her it was dinner time and then bedtime, and she snuck out of the room to do workbooks! I promised her that I'd find something for her to work on, because she likes to keep busy. I've decided that I'll try to place her using the diagnostic tests in the Miquon series, and then just cover the subject areas with which she has difficulty. Once she's confident in all of those areas, I'll probably start teaching her Algebra, which, from all I can tell, is the next logical step after completeing the Miquon Math Labs.

Chibi's been doing lots of reading lately, and writes book reports of her own accord. Right now, she's very interested in animals of all kinds, but most especially pandas, amphibians (I'm a big froggy fan ), and anything native to Australia.

BizzyBug-- Formally diagnosed with Asperger's at age 4, BizzyBug is a fascinating little girl. She's very sweet and loving, but often too demonstrative (hugged all her classmates). She has many of the typical Asperger's problems (inability to read body language, no sense of danger, severe SID, poor eye contact, etc) and some of the more fun ones as well (hyperlexia, never forgets *anything*, etc). This year in kindergarten, she made no progress at all academically and her speech seems to have declined dramatically. She recieved no special services from the school district, they refused to even do an IEP. Her teacher spent a ridiculous amount of time with her, because even under the easiest conditions, BizzyBug is a lot of work, but she still didn't learn a single thing all year. I'm really hoping that my sister will come to her senses and pull her out of the district before all hope is lost.

That's the kiddles in a (very large) nutshell. I think they're great fun.

[eilonwy]

HeadStart

ChibiChibi went to HeadStart. She had a good time, and they were all too glad to have a child there who could set an example for everyone else. Seriously, though, they were constantly sending home letters applauding her, There was no academic pressure on her at all, so she helped the other kids out; she memorized all of their names in the first two days (people skills are really her thing), and could read them all by the end of the first week, so she helped the teacher pass out the "name cards" (they varied with the season) each morning. She said "may I please?" and "thank you," so the other kids learned lots of fun things from her. She was the smallest child in her class (severe reflux issues), and made friends with the tallest; a shy little girl who just didn't know how to jump in and play with the others.

I wouldn't expect a gifted child to learn any thing in HeadStart, but every kid loves a water table and they had the best blocks.

[Henry's_Mamma]

I'm Amy, 34 now, 35 (oh my!) in July. Dh was 35 in May. Ds, Henry, is 2 years, 7 months old. He's never been formally tested, but we believe it is highly likely that he is gifted. He has a HUGE sight vocabularly (it must be into the hundreds at this point), and can read many early reader type books like "Frog and Toad" with minimal assistance. He has some grasp of phonics although he will often try to guess a word before "sounding it out," but does a pretty good job of doing that when prompted. He has an incredible memory and a ton of energy. He's easily bored, and I have trouble keeping him engaged. He recognizes and can read/write (we use foam numbers, so really just laying the numbers out) numbers well into the hundreds and is trying the thousands out now. He's fascinated by addition and subtraction and has just realized the concepts of division and multiplication (loves when you take 2 of something and cut them in half and have 4 -- thought that was amazing). He uses the computer to type and can type many words. His fine motor skills are probably age appropriate, although coming along. I think he's too much of a perfectionist and too easily frustrated when what's in his head doesn't show up on paper.

Henry seems to be about age-appropriate in gross motor skills, interactive skills, and generally being a 2 year old. I think he is often bored and frustrated by his peers who don't share his interests (the "academics" plus music and musical instruments). If we can swing it financially, in another year or so we may start him on an instrument via Suzuki, just because he's so enamoured with instruments.

I'm considering doing some more formal "schooling" with him in the fall, just because I think he'd love it. In September he starts a one day/week Mom's Morning Out program that is entirely play based. They do lots of play and arts/crafts, and I think the peer interaction and fine motor skill work will be good for him.

Nevertheless, his gifts scare me a lot. I wonder what we will do when he's age ready for school. As a November baby, he will not be eligible to start kindergarten until he is almost 6, and by then he might be ready for middle school. Until then, we'll play it by ear.

[psyche]

Originally Posted by Henry's_Mamma

As a November baby, he will not be eligible to start kindergarten until he is almost 6, and by then he might be ready for middle school.

Or above! My husband's cousin began college at nine.

(Although I don't expect my children to be anywhere near that level, I'm curious about such extreme acceleration.)

[catgirl]

Hi, I'm Penny, Mom to Ben who is now just 7. We've never had him tested and he is a study in contradictions - talked late (started just as he was turning two), by which time he could read a bunch of words and type several of them (but was not hyperlexic in the ASD sense); started reading phonetically the week of his third birthday but doesn't like to read much now although he reads at 6th grade level; didn't show any real early talent in math (although he could instantly recognize quantites up to about five when he was two) but then blew through K-3 math in his so-called kindergarten year (we're homeschooling) and now enjoys converting base 10 to binary and other cool stuff like that. His first language is really music - he's a gifted pianist who plays with great maturity. We're currently trying to figure out if he has ADHD or is just insanely energetic and self-directed. He is clearly gifted to some degree but it's very hard to say to what extent. I rarely post because of lack of time, but I find this thread very comforting!

[lucysmom]

I'm Lisa & my daughter Lucy is 21 months. Has known all letters for a long time, knew most shapes and colors at 12 months, can spell her name (L-U-C-Y-LUCY!), knows what many words start with (D-Daddy! M-Mommy! A-Astro!), counts to 13, sight reads maybe 50 words, has a huge vocabulary and a remarkable memory. (Tonight she informed me that "Kathy" gave her the toothbrush she was using. I thought "huh, is Kathy the name of the dentist?" and asked my partner, whose childhood dentist we took her to a couple of months ago. Yep -- Kathy. Lucy probably heard the woman's name once total and we have not discussed it since.)

I like her quite a bit ... not only because she's smart, needless to say, but it sure makes it fun.

Originally Posted by psyche

Or above! My husband's cousin began college at nine.

(Although I don't expect my children to be anywhere near that level, I'm curious about such extreme acceleration.)

I went to college at 11 & loved it. Let me know if you want to discuss the experience ...

Originally Posted by eilonwy

He also says that he wants to take a cheerleading class, and if I can find an inexpensive place to take a 3 or 4 year old boy for cheerleading lessons, I'll sign him up.

Right on!!!

-- Lisa

[Cinder]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

She was the smallest child in her class (severe reflux issues), and made friends with the tallest; a shy little girl who just didn't know how to jump in and play with the others.

I wouldn't expect a gifted child to learn any thing in HeadStart, but every kid loves a water table and they had the best blocks.

Thanks, I hope it goes well here too.

Severe reflux issues have been a huge cause of Janelle's failure to thrive problems as well.

I'm worried about stuff like cheerleading only being offered to girls. Caid wants nothing more than to be just like his sister right now...he is enrolled in creative movement for the fall cause he was so jealous that Janelle got to take ballet last year and he didn't (he wasn't, and still isn't actually, old enough for ballet)...I don't know what he will do when Janelle wants to do something that is only offered to girls.

[eilonwy]

[rant]Honestly, I'm going to lose my mind if I hear one more thing about how anything and everything that I do with my kids is wrong, counterproductive, stupid, impossible, or just a waste of time. I feel like I constantly have to be on the defensive on Learning at Home and Beyond, and my kids aren't even "scary" gifted, as far as I can tell. For crying out loud, BeanBean's 3.5 and not reading fluently, and I've personally met lots of kids who were reading better at two (hell, I was one of them). Why is it so impossible to believe that a child might enjoy listening to a story that lasts more than 5 minutes and doesn't have loads of shiny pictures before he's 9? It's not like I'm telling them that *they're* scarring their kids for life, why can't they afford me the same courtesy? [/rant]

[ChristaN]

I was going through dd#1's baby book last year when I was filling out developmental milestones on a form for the psych who tested her and I wrote under "favorite activity" on the 9 month old page that her favorite thing was listening to me read her books and that she cried whenever I stopped reading. She'd listen to me read for 30-40 minutes even as an infant. I have no problem believing that a 3.5 y/o could like to listen to stories longer than 5 minutes. Actually, I would probably think that something was askew with a 3 y/o who couldn't sit still that long to listen to an interesting story, although that probably isn't fair either.

I really think that it is a backlash against the belief that seems to be ingrained in parents that "gifted" is a result of parenting. Therefore, if someone else's kid is doing something different than the norm, it reflects badly on your parenting. That's really too bad b/c I know that I didn't make my dds gifted by something I did (other than maybe donating the genes).