Addressing the Special Needs of Gifted Children, #9 - Page 8

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by LauraLoo

... the statistics say that 70% of the population are extroverts and 30% are introverts.......Extroverts just don't get that us introverts (raising hand here!) would rather have a few close friends than a ton of aquaintances! And that's it's a lot of work and not fullfilling for us to make small talk.

You know what I've found interesting in reading about introversion is the realization that I am not an introvert like I used to think I was. Dd#1 is a huge introvert as is dh. The definining characteristic for being termed an introvert is apparently not the desire for a few close friends and not a big party, but rather recharging or getting your energy from being alone. Extraverts recharge by being around others.

I, too, hate small talk, find the whole "relationship building" stuff to be phony and have no interest in attending big parties and being out on the town. However, I am incredibly lonely when I am alone/around no one for much of the day. Being left totally alone for a day is dh's dream day.

I need to be around people, not a lot of people, but a few close people, in order to feel fulfilled and happy. Dd and dh do not. They feel better spending some time alone in their rooms reading or watching TV or whatever. The book, The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child was what helped me realize my hidden extraversion and better understand that dd has different needs than do I.

[LauraLoo]

CristaN -- You are right. The defining factor between introverts and extroverts is where they get their energy. I definitely get mine from alone time, and think that my ds does as well. I shouldn't have overgeneralized.

[Augusta]

Yep, I'm one of those introverted extraverts. I'm pretty quiet and like to spend time alone but I need to be around others to recharge and energize myself. That's when I feel most like me. Coffee with a girlfriend for an hour in the morning and I'm set to spend the day on my own. Too much time alone and I'm drained and feeling down.

My son is the opposite. He needs that down time on his own to recharge. That's why by the end of school he's so exhausted. They don't have any real alone time. At free play he prefers to play on his own and I know that's why. Also he takes a long time at his cubby getting his shoes changed etc at recess. I'm sure that's because he's using that as alone time.

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by LauraLoo

CristaN -- You are right. The defining factor between introverts and extroverts is where they get their energy. I definitely get mine from alone time, and think that my ds does as well. I shouldn't have overgeneralized.

I wasn't meaning to chastise you . Sorry if it came off that way. I was just sharing my newly found info . I've found that learning about my children's needs has also been very enlightening regarding my own self.

[LauraLoo]

CristaN -- Absolutely no offense taken I just wanted to make sure that anyone else reading this that might be confused about the whole I / E thing that you were perfectly right about the source for energy.

[eilonwy]

I learned about that when I failed my personality test back in 9th grade. I think that I would be *extremely* extroverted if people actually understood what I was saying as a child. As it was, I learned not to speak in public. : I was unhappy around people, and very quiet, so I appeared introverted when in fact I was as extroverted as any of them, just trapped in my own mind... :

Laura-- have you tried simply explaining to your son that this test is important for him, for his future and well-being, and that it would be to his detriment to screw around?

[LauraLoo]

eilonwy - I'm not really sure how to approach the whole testing thing with my son. When he isn't screwing around, he has really strong perfectionistic tendencies and often gets emotionally upset if things don't turn out the way he expects them to. I asked him once if he liked getting the right answer and he said he did. I asked him how he felt when he got the wrong answer, and he said "I feel really sad." (He is also speech delayed, so he doesn't yet expand upon sentiments like this, but we're working on it.) Of course I used the opportunity to explain to him that making mistakes is how we learn. I am a perfectionist and I know that I've heard that speech a hundred times and it still doesn't help me think it's ok to make mistakes even though I know better.....so I don't know effective this was with him.

I'm not sure how to say -- Hey, it's ok to make mistakes, but try really hard to not mistakes on *this* test! I don't even know if telling him to just do his best would make an impact. On the other hand, I don't feel like I can just tell him to have fun on the assessment either.

[mammal_mama]

Laura, rather than even telling your son it's a test he's being given, what do you think about telling him someone is talking to him to get to know him better so his teachers can help him have more fun in school? Isn't that ultimately the purpose of the evaluation?

[catgirl]

Originally Posted by LauraLoo

I'm not sure how to say -- Hey, it's ok to make mistakes, but try really hard to not mistakes on *this* test! I don't even know if telling him to just do his best would make an impact. On the other hand, I don't feel like I can just tell him to have fun on the assessment either.

This might be helpful: www.hoagiesgifted.org/test_prep.htm

[LauraLoo]

Mammal mama, catgirl and eilonwy -- All great suggestions. Thank you! I think I just need to wait to approach this until the day of the test and just tell him that the assessor wants to find out everything that he knows and likes, and that it will be fun for him to show them.....at least something along these lines. I'm probably stressing out way too much about this :