Does self-retraction look, well, scary?

[mollyeilis]

My son is 2 and seems to be starting in earnest to retract his foreskin. And I can't help but think it looks scary! Plus he pulls it back very hard and then says "ouch". I try to tell him "if it hurts, don't do it so hard", but he'll just do it again.

I'm used to him pulling it out AWAY from him, or up towards his bellybutton...that looks awful but I'm used to it.

I'd gotten used to the way his foreskin was, and now that he's doing this it is changing in appearance and even though all of my brothers are intact, I was too young to notice this stage in my full brother, and it would have been very inappropriate for me to stare at my half-brothers doing this (I was mid-teens then). So I'm just clueless, and want to understand what's going on, what is normal, etc.

This retraction stuff, it's slowly opening the hole in the foreskin so that the penis "proper" comes through, right? As well as moving the skin around where before it was more adhered to the skin inside? Whereas before it all has just stayed cozily inside?

I swear, I need a manual. : In his first week I quietly freaked out b/c I saw the "raphe" and was scared he'd been taken from me and circ'ed while I slept...had to do some heavy searching here to find that word, raphe, and know that it's normal...and now this looks so scary and painful.

But it's normal, right?

Are there any books that show pictures of normal child retraction stages? I'd ask for a website, but I'm really scared to go looking for penis pictures online...

[maxmama]

I figure whatever Max is doing to his foreskin he can go ahead and do. I mean, I can't imagine people in non-circ countries monitoring their children's foreskin usage, you know?

Correct me, anyone with more foreskin knowledge!

[mollyeilis]

Oh, I'm not talking about keeping him from doing things (except letting him know that he doesn't have to do things that make him say "ouch", LOL), I just want to know what's going on, what it's supposed to look like, etc.

I'm just not used to seeing his inner penis parts peeking out! (such official words I'm using... )

Does it look "scary" to you, weird, different, anything like that? Or maybe your guy does it away from you...my guy tends to play with himself while sitting on our laps (he's potty learning so is half-nekky much of the time), it would be almost unnatural/impossible to KEEP from looking at his penis.

[trmpetplaya]

My dh thought that the end of his penis was falling off when he first was able to retract (at age 5, I think) because his parents never told him anything about it! So it can be scary for the boy himself sometimes....

love and peace.

[mollyeilis]

Ooh, now that's an excellent reason for me to know more!

I'm starting to feel like I'm the biggest idiot ever, with as many views and as few responses as there are... Like I'm the only one who has ever wondered what this process is supposed to look like?

I wish DH were of more help, he's intact but doesn't really know much for various reasons.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

i havnt reached that stage with ds yet he is 19mo I am curious to what it may look like. But I have been all over the net and seen many pictures of intact guys so I think I have a pretty good idea. Didnt wanna look and not respond hate it when a million people read but no one posts.

[pdx.mothernurture]

I think what may be most surprising about it could be the color difference, especially if you're used to seeing circumcised men. The glans of intact boys/men is usually very shiny and rich in color...rather than being a dull grayish purple, it may be dark purple or even red. If you didn't know that, retraction might appear painful or the glans raw-looking. HTMS.

My son isn't retracting yet, so I'm basing this on having seen the glans of freshly circumcised babies as well as pictures of intact adults.

Jen

[orangefoot]

Yes it does look scary! Both my boys have done really bizarre things with their penises (penii?!)

For a long time they would pull their foreskins back as far as they could - which was only about half way - and the skin of their glans was reddish purple probably from all the blood being trapped in it!

They are 12 and 9 now so its been a long while since I have seen them playing but I imagine if they had caused themselves any damage then I would have had some complaints from them by now. I think you may never see your son's penis with a fully retractable foreskin as he may start to want to do that stuff in private rather than in front of you as he gets older.

Being intact here is normal so I haven't really worried about it to be honest, I was just shocked in the beginning because I don't have a penis and I had no idea you could do that to it! Mind you some of the things dd does with her vulva are also shocking......

[Sijae]

Well I haven't seen my sons penis retracted since he was probably 5. He came running to me saying "mom, my penis has a little mouth!" and of course his brother who was 4 had to do the same thing. Yes the glans is very colorful and that's the way it should be. Since I've been hanging out here I said to my 11 year old "your foreskin does retract now doesn't it?" and he looked at me like I was crazy and said "uuhhh, yeah" (like of course what are talking about) and so I said well you know you should probably rinse under it when you take a bath and he says "I know". LOL

Now if you want to see scary you should see when my 4 year old DD is investigating her Yoni. She stretchers herself way out looking and I'm thinking "geez, doesn't that hurt!"

Laura

[Lula's Mom]

I didn't reply earlier because I thought, "I'm so blase about body parts, it'll be no big deal I'm sure." Plus ya know, it's not like I've never seen a penis, and I know that's what's under there.

That was before I looked at the link Stardust gave in the 'Smegma pearls' thread. There are 2 retracted baby penis pictures on there (they look too little to be retractile, but who knows from pictures!) They made me feel... gross, like I was seeing something that ought not to be seen. I know we've said it before about circ'ed penises- what should be inside is now on the outside, for everyone to view!

It's just weird to see a teeny baby glans. My son is 18 months old and not at all retractile, so to me, his penis IS his foreskin- that's all I've ever seen of it! And then suddenly there are these pictures, and I know that's what's in there, but it just made me say "GAH!" It's kind of like when my daughter has some irritation on her vulva and I have to look at it for her, or put cream on it. I don't normally see her splayed out like that, since she's not in diapers anymore. I can't really imagine seeing my son's glans.

[maxmama]

Originally Posted by mollyeilis

Oh, I'm not talking about keeping him from doing things (except letting him know that he doesn't have to do things that make him say "ouch", LOL), I just want to know what's going on, what it's supposed to look like, etc.

I'm just not used to seeing his inner penis parts peeking out! (such official words I'm using... )

Does it look "scary" to you, weird, different, anything like that? Or maybe your guy does it away from you...my guy tends to play with himself while sitting on our laps (he's potty learning so is half-nekky much of the time), it would be almost unnatural/impossible to KEEP from looking at his penis.

Max likes to pull out the end of his foreskin and make it talk like a fish puppet (hard to visualize, but I swear that's what it looks like). Extremely creepy, I think, but maybe that's just because no one does Puppetry of the Labia and I'm just not used to it.

[Mountaingirl3]

Originally Posted by maxmama

Max likes to pull out the end of his foreskin and make it talk like a fish puppet (hard to visualize, but I swear that's what it looks like). Extremely creepy, I think, but maybe that's just because no one does Puppetry of the Labia and I'm just not used to it.

[mollyeilis]

Thank you!

Eamon is retracting more at an alarming rate! Yikes!

Yes it's the color of what's beneath that's weirding me out. And since he's doing it with such strength behind it, and so fast, the foreskin is a bit red...it's being irritated so that seems normal. So the combo is a bit freaky!

He's only 2, I did NOT expect this so soon! I guess it's not that big a deal, but I had geared myself to be totally cool with it if he never retracted while still comfy being naked around me, so doing this so young is a shock.

Thanks for the replies!


I didn't know the "pearls" thread had pictures of penises in it now, hmm....

[pixie-n-hertwoboys]

I came here to find out exactly this!

penis wonderment.... I don't have one and my first ds didn't do nearly as much as ds number 2 does. OH my - it does its own tricks! he said mommy my penis hurts- I look and sure enough the sucker is all red at the tip so he says it hurts here and he peels it back - I was in shock!!!! I called dh and said is it normal for it to be purple? I'm sure he loved me for calling him at work for that hahaha.

He is constantly yanking, touching, putting things on it (like the empty paper towel tube) HAHAHAHAHA so its no wonder hes retracted it himself already.

so in this case do I need to rinse inside? ick just the thought of it.....

[Islay]

Originally Posted by maxmama

but maybe that's just because no one does Puppetry of the Labia and I'm just not used to it.

Now that would be, ummm.. interesting! We had a late-night showing of Puppetry of the Penis on the BBC a year ago. It was was incredibly well done and not in the least pornographic.

But to get back to Molly's original post: my youngest grandchild has such a 'perfect' foreskin that I was momentarily fooled into thinking he had been circumcised when I first saw it! His foreskin is moulded so tightly and smoothly over his glans, with just the tip opened enough to allow the passage of urine, you see? Whereas my son's foreskin was loose at the tip and he used to tug it both forward and back, frequently. My eldest daughter (11 at the time) was with him in our blow-up paddling pool in the back garden. He was naked. She suddenly yelled "Daddy!" - and I rushed over. Nathan had his foreskin pulled back so far, half his glans was exposed. Even I was fleetingly taken aback when I saw it.

Yes, it will look very 'exposed'; soft.. and coloured quite unlike anything you might imagine - and the meatus (pee hole) is very evident.

Molly, this is all entirely normal. In fact, it's wonderfully natural! You have a little boy with his genitals preserved as nature made them. Good for you - and him!

Christopher

[gridley13]

Omigosh, I am cracking up here about the Inner Penis, and also a penis having a little mouth!! :
My ds does not seem to be retractible at all, he just turned 2. And really, he doesn't play with it as much as I thought he would. However, this is starting to increase. The other day he apparently had his hand in his diaper on the couch- my dh said that he pushed the blanket away and said "Yook Dada- Big!" Also, today, he put his hand down his diaper again, pulled his penis out, then just put his shirt back down. Maybe it is some 2 year old fashion trend to walk around with your stuff hanging out?

[mollyeilis]

gridley, your signature line is hilarious.

Thanks to the newer posters, too!

Just after replying earlier, he showed me his new trick, of retracting then putting a fingertip into the hole, and then covering it up with his foreskin.

Note to self: keep his hands washed often!

The color continues to be my biggest "whoa" factor. DH is much darker complected than DS (DS is pink all over like me) so the entire, well, package looks completely different, and I can't use one to compare to the other. That's just such a strange sentence I can't figure out how to correct it. :

[LadyMarmalade]

My son recently showed me his latest trick ... he can retract in two different ways. Shocked the life out of me when I was getting him out of the bath tub. I yelled for DH to come in because he showed me the new way first and it looked WEIRD!!! Then when he replaced his foreskin it didn't cover his entire glans the way it usually did. I was worried he'd done something wrong, but I asked him if it hurt and he said no (he did tell me it hurt when he decided to cover it in soap, and we had a talk about how his penis cleans itself - he shouldn't put soap on his glans if he's retracted). The 'new' way of retracting (which he's done a couple of times now) seems to be ... erm ... honestly, I don't know how to describe it! He was fully retractile before, the foreskin used to sit just behind the glans and his penis looked like I imagine a circumcised child's would. But with the 'new' way it looks like the skin has somehow been pulled back even further.

[Revamp]

Originally Posted by mollyeilis

In his first week I quietly freaked out b/c I saw the "raphe" and was scared he'd been taken from me and circ'ed while I slept...had to do some heavy searching here to find that word, raphe, and know that it's normal...and now this looks so scary and painful.

Oh boy...

The raphe caused me some worries too actually. I was aware that I had suffered from undescended testicles and had an operation to amend that but my parents were a little vague on the exact location of the scar. Consequentially I mistook it for my raphe and believed I had been irreperably mutilated and would disgust all partners I would ever have.

When I found out what it really was I did not know whether to laugh or cry.

[Aura_Kitten]

Originally Posted by maxmama

Max likes to pull out the end of his foreskin and make it talk like a fish puppet (hard to visualize, but I swear that's what it looks like). Extremely creepy, I think, but maybe that's just because no one does Puppetry of the Labia and I'm just not used to it.

:




my son isn't nearly that interested in his foreskin.