My lucky husband

[sapphire_chan]

is on board with homebirthing so there are all kinds of books I'm not going to make him read.

[huggerwocky]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

is on board with homebirthing so there are all kinds of books I'm not going to make him read.

Which ones do you have in mind? I just got " the birth partner" for mine

[annakiss]

Wait wait wait - all this time you've been posting here? I thought he'd been on board. I guess since you're not actually having a baby yet, that that would make a bit of sense, but I find it surprising for someone who is soooo involved here.

[sapphire_chan]

<--reading about births is a avocation not a hobby,


You see, our plan had been to try to have our first child Summer 2008, but now it's looking like we're going to move things up by a year. I'd been planning to give him all kinds of things to read, but when I actually started looking at books at the library, I realized that since he's on board with homebirth he doesn't really need to read things like Henci Goer's books. He really doesn't need to read any of the books about what goes on in hospitals because, hey, not going there. I had been thinking I was going to want to read all the books I had read, but he really only needs to read practical stuff--like Birth Partner.

[Nora'sMama]

Your DH sounds like mine - once I convinced him about homebirth, NCB etc. (neither of which we actually ended up having but we did have a pretty low-intervention experience compared to the norm) he was totally on board and didn't feel the need to learn more. I did make him read passages out of a bunch of books and he did a lot of Hypnobabies stuff with me. But after our first discussions he didn't question why I felt I needed to hire a doula even though we couldn't afford it, and things like that. He came to every prenatal appointment and fumed right along with me when our HMO OB was a nitwit, got frustrated along with me when the much-recommended midwife we switched to didn't seem as crunchy as I'd hoped, and then rejoiced along with me when we realized that she was actually pretty cool. Etc. It was really really great to have such support! I can't imagine how hard it would be to plan a homebirth if my DH were skeptical at all. And actually even with a supportive DH I preferred to be the "expert" on birth...I didn't think he needed to read all those books unless he took it upon himself to plow through them - but why do that when he could just ask me what they said?

[Arwyn]

I actually don't recommend The Birth Partner for homebirths. It's waaaaaaaay too focused on time, and medical routines, and hospital crap. Better would be a doula book (a book geared to doulas - my books are all in storage, and my brain is currently mush, so I can't name any at the moment) and a good homebirth/birth book, and maybe Birthing From Within. TBP has some good stuff, yea, but mixed in with so much fear-based, time-based, hospital-based crap that I just don't recommend it for anyone not planning on a hospital birth. (Can you tell I'm not a fan? I actually was way back in the day, in early doula training and pre- the start of midwifery training, but I've since gotten much more handsoff in my philosophy, and I kinda detest it now. I do still recommend it for people planning a natural hospital birth, though.)

My DP has read (and been read) many bits and pieces of many books, and although there are a few I'd kinda like him to read when we/I get pregnant, I don't think he really needs to read any, since he has the two most important things for a supportive partner: a basic understanding of the birth process, and complete birth trust. That's all they really need, the rest arises organically from your needs in birth (which can't really be predicted ahead of time), and can be suggested (if he needs ideas on specifics) by your doula or midwife.

[LoveChild421]

Originally Posted by Arwyn

I actually don't recommend The Birth Partner for homebirths. It's waaaaaaaay too focused on time, and medical routines, and hospital crap.

I agree. dp read "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" and he really liked it- not too long or hard to understand and it really helps men to understand fully that birth is a natural process. It really convinced dp because when I was considering transfering to the hospital he kept believing in my body's ability to birth. When a man is supporting a natural birth it isn't enough to read "do whatever she wants" and things like that- it is sooooo important for him to be in the same mindset as you are so that after 20 hours of labor when you are : he knows he needs to help keep you stay focused on a natural birth and not say "oh baby it's ok let's go get the epidural"

[sapphire_chan]

Any other recommendations? As of right now, I've only emailed him some Kellymom and Diaperfreebaby links, but of course those are going to be applicable much further in the future.

[MamaTaraX]

Wow, your TTC time is coming up fast!! I am so eager for you to have ababy You're gonna make one kick-@ss awesome birther, you know that? I just get the feeling about you Your DH is a lucky man indeed

Namaste, Tara

[blissful_maia]

Birthing from Within has a really nice section for husbands/partners/support people. Also, Spiritual Midwifery is full of wonderful stories of homebirths where dads are actively involved. Jeanine Parvati Baker's Prenatal Yoga and Natural Childbirth has a lot of info about dads too.

[MelW]

I think the conversations that I had with my partner were more powerful than any of the books he could have or did read. But I kept Spiritual Midwifery on my bedside table and read snippets to him for YEARS before we ever started TTC. He read The Birth Partner, and appreciated some of the logistical stuff (learning some of the terminology, progression of labour, etc.). He actually pulled out The Birth Partner after my water broke to do some last minute "cramming"- though it was totally unecessary.

Like your dh, I thought I might have to do some homebirth convincing...but he just assumed that we were having the baby at home. I guess years of talking about homebirths and midwifery kind of helped

Glad your husband is on board...it's coming up soon!

[huggerwocky]

Originally Posted by Arwyn

I actually don't recommend The Birth Partner for homebirths. It's waaaaaaaay too focused on time, and medical routines, and hospital crap. Better would be a doula book (a book geared to doulas - my books are all in storage, and my brain is currently mush, so I can't name any at the moment) and a good homebirth/birth book, and maybe Birthing From Within. TBP has some good stuff, yea, but mixed in with so much fear-based, time-based, hospital-based crap that I just don't recommend it for anyone not planning on a hospital birth. (Can you tell I'm not a fan? I actually was way back in the day, in early doula training and pre- the start of midwifery training, but I've since gotten much more handsoff in my philosophy, and I kinda detest it now. I do still recommend it for people planning a natural hospital birth, though.)

My DP has read (and been read) many bits and pieces of many books, and although there are a few I'd kinda like him to read when we/I get pregnant, I don't think he really needs to read any, since he has the two most important things for a supportive partner: a basic understanding of the birth process, and complete birth trust. That's all they really need, the rest arises organically from your needs in birth (which can't really be predicted ahead of time), and can be suggested (if he needs ideas on specifics) by your doula or midwife.

Hmpf, a couple of weeks ago someone told me it's valuable for homebirths, I already ordered it

[sapphire_chan]

Offtopic update

he's really getting into the ECing stuff, and he's started watchin babywearing videos on mamatoto. I think I'll send him some homebirth stories.

[Arwyn]

Huggerwocky - it does have a lot of good info. And if you start from a place of homebirth and birth trust, you/he should be able to glean some good info from it. It's not worthless!

I just don't, on balance, like it much.