People putting me off homebirth... WWYD? - Page 2

[mammamoon]

Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital

I don't ever discuss my homebirth plans with anyone who wouldn't support my decision for this very reason.
Surround yourself with positive thoughts. Ignore the negative. Be aware of the risks, but know that the odds are with you that you will have a normal, beautiful birth at home, and it will be an experience you will never regret.

You said it sister!

[Mama Poot]

Originally Posted by warrior mama

I mentioned the homebirth MW's. He told me he has safety concerns with them, they let a woman labor with a transverse fetus, and that I should avoid them. I so wanted to try a homebirth but now I'm afraid.......please help. WWYD?

You should read Ina May Gaskin's "Spiritual Midwifery" and/or her "Guide to Natural Childbirth". Her and her colleagues at The Farm have successfully delivered transverse babies. There are techniques that can be used to get the baby to turn and deliver normally. True, it doesn't always work- but its not impossible, as your doctor would have you believe. And of course your doctor wants you to avoid "alternative" practitioners-that's $ out of his pocket. : Do not be afraid. The more you learn, I think you'll realize that homebirth is a safe and viable option for you.

[Emilie]

wondering how you are doing?

[warrior mama]

Hi, I have spoken with the midwives and feel reassured. I feel a lot of medical professionals are suspicious of homebirth and try to sway me from it. I've learned it's best to say nothing. It is funny how I have made appointments to see about 4 different OB's and then cancelled the appointments - I just don't trust them. The midwives are the only ones I actually went to see. (The orininal MD to try and put me off was my Famuiy practice doctor - he was not an OB)

[blissbabies]

Personally I dont like anyone telling me what to do, or thinking they know whats best for me, especially doctors. I think you should inform yourself and make your own desicion and dont let anyone scare you into or out of anything. ALWAYS LOOK AT THE FACTS!! And judge your own level of comfort.

[LLCOOLJ]

I'm getting ready for my second birth/first homebirth, and it's hard to remain confident when homebirths are such a misunderstood minority of births in the US. There's a stereotype that homebirth parents either don't know any better or don't have health insurance (i.e., they have no other choice). There's also this idea that it's everybody's business how and where one gives birth--when it's not! My mother & sisters and I have had horrendous baby-harming and mother-harming experiences in the "finest" hospitals; even the "best medical care" cannot guarantee a live, uncomplicated birth. Meanwhile, my grandmother gave birth at home to seven healthy children with no fuss! This time, I have chosen to trust Mother Nature, myself, my husband, and our home over the hospital experience--strangers treating me like a number, a specimen, a problem, a job, a source of additional revenue. I have chosen to tell only those people who (1) I am confident will support me, or (2) whose opinion doesn't matter to me (i.e., the guy who cuts my hair). This means that I haven't even told my parents--though I love them, I do not want to deal with their fears and uneducated opinions. I figure my energy right now belongs with growing the baby, and preparing physically, spiritually, and mentally for the birth. I see my midwives as consultants--not decision makers. I have a back-up OB/GYN in case I need to go to the hospital. I am also ordering home birth videos from homebirthvideos.com as a way of helping my husband and me and our son reimagine and imagine birth as a natural, joyful experience, not what the mainstream media and medical establishment have made it out to be. Good luck. Follow your heart--whether it leads you to the hospital or to your own home--that's the only way to be calm and to have no regrets.

[NoMariposa]

I was in a similar position with my last pregnancy. I had 2 prior c/s and wanted a vba2c. Here 1 group of CNM could take me, but only if I had only 1 prior c/s. So I was left with either UC or lay midwife and UC was far more of a risk IMO given my c/s status than a well trained and qualified Direct Entry Midwife. And I'd never given birth before, so I knew I needed some gentle guidance.

I did not tell a sole what I was planning unless they were directly involved. It just isn't wise to share with the medical profession plans of a hb, especially if you have a high risk factor, such as a prior c/s. They could, if they felt you were endangering your unborn child cause problems on a legal level for you.

I think if you trust yourself and your ability to birth, you can trust that a hb with a DEM is a safe alternative. Of course, do keep in mind your distance from a hospital that is equipped to preform a c/s at any hour in the event of a life or death emergancy -- that is the only way you would ever get ME into a hospital! It is 'peace of mind' for me knowing that the local hospital only minutes from our house, equipped to handle an OB emergancy at any hour in the unlikely event I needed them.

How badly do you want this? Why do you want this? List out those Pros and Cons and remember them often when you are feeling less than assured of yourself.

[RachelGS]

Arm yourself with factual information. The naysayers didn't bother me a bit, because I knew the facts better than they did. They were speaking from a place of fear and I was speaking from a position of higher education, not to mention trust in my body (which knew perfectly well how to grow a whole complicated baby). Mine was the position of strength.

[RachelGS]

Arm yourself with factual information. The naysayers didn't bother me a bit, because I knew the facts better than they did. They were speaking from a place of fear and I was speaking from a position of higher education, not to mention trust in my body (which knew perfectly well how to grow a whole complicated baby). Mine was the position of strength.

[BennyPai]

OP - I'm glad you were able to meet the mw & are reassured. I was amazed at how much ignorance I was met with in general. My mw is so knowledgeable and competant that she raised my expectations of those in the medical profession.

Rachel GS - I wanna copy your siggie on a bumper sticker..

[RachelGS]

Sigh. Me too.

[alisonbr]

We had something similar locally

We had something similar locally, where when the MD tells the story it sounds pretty scary, but when you hear it from the midwives it sounds pretty reasonable and in line with what the mother wanted. That particular case had a good outcome.

Both midwives and doctors can make mistakes, and sometimes there are complications in childbirth. I think it's likely that MDs and midwifes have different strengths and weaknesses with different complications. But unless you have a good idea of what your most likely complications are (and maybe you do) that information may not help you pick a caregiver. The research shows that homebirth is safe. But the approach is certainly different. My opinion is that women birth better with a caregiver who had the same beliefs about birth that she does. Worrying about second guessing your care giver is quite likely to lead to stalled or prolonged labor. You need to be able to stop thinking so that your body (and your baby) can do the job they are meant to do.

Birth can be wonderful and exhilirating, but it can also be scary, regardless of the location and caregiver. Pick what will work best for you!

Alison
one birth-center birth, two homebirths (one that we thought was breech, but he turned in labor)

P.S. I like Henci Goer's books and essays. She has a bunch on one of the parenting web sites -- I'm sure you could google her.

[Lisie]

I gave birth in a hospital with a midwife, I had terrible back labor, and no one knew he was presenting transverse. I think he actually was turning, but when my water broke there was meconium in it so they had me on my back (still not sure why), the POINT is, I was able to birth him transverse with no c-section (I did have a heck of a time getting him through), but it worked out fine anyway and no one even knew until he was through! I am now pregnant with my second and planning on a homebirth because I think if I had been at home, I would have been able to stay on all fours, he would have turned on his own, and getting him through would have been easier! DO the homebirth, that's what I think!

[4daughters]

I've heard of the Webster technique which is done by Chiropractors, this technique has a high success rate with making baby turn to head down position. Perhaps this is something you could look into incase it happens again. Some Chiropractors work with Midwives! I would definately look into having a homebirth!

[4daughters]

I've heard of the Webster technique which is done by Chiropractors, this technique has a high success rate with making baby turn to head down position. Perhaps this is something you could look into incase it happens again. Some Chiropractors work with Midwives! I would definately look into having a homebirth!

[momto l&a]

I wouldnt listen to the Dr.

A Dr once told me once she found out we wanted to hb that I was too small : I am so "small" my babies practically fall outa me

Dr's main "tool" to manipulate their patients is fear.

Do your own research

[Wazabooz]

Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds

I'd talk to the midwives and find out what the real story is.

Only one problem: medical privacy. The best you can (ethically) hope for is that the birthing mother in question gives permission to discuss her story.

[orangebird]

Originally Posted by Lisie

I gave birth in a hospital with a midwife, I had terrible back labor, and no one knew he was presenting transverse. I think he actually was turning, but when my water broke there was meconium in it so they had me on my back (still not sure why), the POINT is, I was able to birth him transverse with no c-section (I did have a heck of a time getting him through), but it worked out fine anyway and no one even knew until he was through! I am now pregnant with my second and planning on a homebirth because I think if I had been at home, I would have been able to stay on all fours, he would have turned on his own, and getting him through would have been easier! DO the homebirth, that's what I think!

I'm trying to picture this, so he turned? Or are you saying the baby actually came out transverse?