Sebastian's birth story
[Very long -- I just wrote this stream-of-consciousness style, no editing, no second thoughts. I hope it's legible.]
I woke up Monday morning around 7am feeling some mild cramping, very low in my uterus, just like I did with Qualia. Since I was 41 weeks that day, I had a non-stress test at the hospital just to check Sebastian's level of activity and amniotic fluid. Most pointless NST ever. *lol* I went in and let them know that I thought I was starting labor, and called RJ to ask him to start calling our "support team" -- Heather and our doula, Cristina. The NST went fine, and sure enough, it registered regular contractions while I was hooked up to the monitors. I agreed to let the resident check my cervix and I was fully effaced and 4-5 cm dilated already. This led to some surprise and consternation on the hospital staff's part when I said that was great and I was heading home for a while. They weren't sure they would "let" me, but I spoke with the doctor, made it clear it wasn't a case of them letting me do anything since it's my body, and I would labor better at home, and off I went with his blessing. (I almost made it home in between contractions, too, except I managed to hit every single red light on the way.) I was feeling pretty Mighty Woman at that point for having been able to advocate for myself without RJ or Cristina there to help me.
At home I spent the minutes between contractions doing some laundry and cleaning, checking to make sure we had everything packed for the hospital, rocking on the birthing ball, and listening to the mix RJ made for me, which was a perfect balance of calming and energizing music. Heather came over and helped Qualia settle in to the day, and RJ went over to the hospital to get the birth tub set up. I rocked out to the contractions for a while, feeling very positive and on top of things, doing my breathing and changing positions. Cristina got there and suggested I make some energy food while I had a chance, so I made some scrambled eggs and ate as much as I could stand (I hate eating when I'm not actually hungry). After a while I called RJ at the hospital and suggested he just stay there and we'd meet him there. Cristina and I loaded up her car and headed over.
When we got there I let them know I wanted to get in the tub as soon as possible, so they did a quick monitor and blood draw and off I went. I went into labor on the one day that both my resident and the overseeing doctor who specializes in water births were unavailable, so I ran into some resistance with actually birthing in the tub. I was trying really hard to be friendly to the nurses and doctors because you don't want them pissed off at you in that kind of situation(!) but I also didn't want to get pushed into doing things someone else's way. This was quite likely my last birth, and I wasn't going to compromise just because someone wasn't comfortable with my birthing choices. If it became medically necessary, sure, but that's a whole different ball of wax. That was a little stressful, but I was still feeling really positive and "high" from laboring at home, so I just went ahead and did my thing and figured they couldn't force me to get out of the tub.
We set up the music and some soft lights in the bathroom and RJ and I got in the tub. The warm water felt so amazing. The contractions still hurt, but my belly and arms and legs were buoyed by the water. I think that made a huge difference in my endurance levels, both in terms of pain management and sheer energy. The contractions got intense pretty quickly and I hit transition. It felt like I was there forever. The contractions just didn't let up. (Cristina later let me know I was having contractions 3 minutes long with about half a minute in between at one point.) I changed position from squatting to leaning forward on RJ's shoulders and back again, with Cristina giving me Recharge and ice water in between and putting cold cloths on my forehead and neck. They both kept up a litany of encouragement and praise all the way through.
I started feeling a shuddering need to push at the end of the contractions, and it got stronger and more overwhelming very quickly. Somewhere in there our backup resident came in and stayed (he'd been in periodically to check on me but otherwise left us alone, which was lovely). He felt my bag of waters bulging and Sebastian's head behind them. Maybe 5-6 contractions from the end, the bag finally broke with a pop in the water. I reached down and felt Sebastian's head and something didn't feel right. Even though I knew it wasn't possible with the waters just breaking, I asked the doctor to check and make sure there wasn't a cord prolapse. He checked and said it was the forebag. It was so thick that it felt like cord over Sebastian's head.
That brief spurt of panic gave me an extra burst of energy and I just wanted to see my baby. I tried to stay with the contractions and bring his head down as fast as possible. I pushed so hard my nose bled. He finally crowned after what felt like an eternity (I later found out I only pushed for half an hour), and suddenly everything went to chaos. His head got stuck at the widest point and I just couldn't push him out. I told the doctor he was stuck and the doctor started feeling around his head. That really hurt and after a minute I think I started yelling at him to stop. He was actually past Sebastian's head, inside me, and had realized that Sebastian's shoulder was caught on my pelvic bone. I think it was RJ who told Cristina to run out and get help. Suddenly this swarm of people were in the bathroom and I was lifted up by RJ and several nurses, legs pulled back as far as possible, and a new doctor was yelling at me to push whether or not I was having a contraction. I didn't know what was going on and no one was saying, but I knew something had gone wrong and I pushed as hard as I possibly could while the doctor pulled, and Sebastian was born. As he was lifted in the air, I saw that his cord had broken. At the time, I thought it broke when they pulled him out, but later we found out it had ruptured inside me, which was the cause of the emergency.
Most of the swarm rushed out, taking my baby with them. I caught of glimpse of dark hair and heard the babble of orders as they gave him oxygen and worked on him. There was blood everywhere -- in the tub, on the floor. I don't remember how I got out of the tub and onto the bed, but pretty quickly they were taking Sebastian to the special care nursery and RJ was going with them. I was so glad RJ was there with him, but I just wanted to hold my baby.
They reassured me about a million times that Sebastian was breathing and everything was under control. They started to work on getting my placenta out, which was complicated because the cord was inside me and the forebag of waters was so thick it threatened to increase my bleeding where it was attached. A shot of pitocin and some very painful contractions later, I birthed the placenta and a lot of blood clots. I got a few stitches that took forever to put in because of the layering, but surprisingly, I actually tore less than I did with my 7 pound 12 ounce no-hands-involved-inside-me daughter. We decided to go with stitches even though it was a small 2nd-degree tear just to help know where any additional bleeding was coming from.
I was frantic to see Sebastian. About two hours later, a new doctor came in and sat down to explain what was going on before I went to the nursery. Sebastian had had an abnormally short cord -- less than 12 inches long -- that tore while he was coming down the birth canal. (This is probably partial cause for the shoulder dystocia as well, because the cord was too short to let him rotate properly.) Because it and he were still inside me, we both bled out. This was more of a problem for him than me, obviously. He came out blue and floppy from oxygen deprivation. His heartrate had gone up to 200 and his blood pressure had dropped, so they needed to stabilize him quickly. He got an IV of fluid, which they then switched to a glucose solution, and he was wired to monitors to check his respiration, oxygen levels, and pulse rate. There were so many wires on my tiny baby. They told me I couldn't nurse him yet because of the IV and needing to closely monitor his fluid intake. The oxygen deprivation to his organs might have affected his intestines, which could lead to part of them necrotizing. It was a small risk, but real enough that I reluctantly agreed not to nurse him yet. That was so heartbreaking.
Over the next two days RJ and I did as much skin-to-skin as possible. By Tuesday night I had gotten a nurse to agree that since he was doing so well, and I was failing so miserably at pumping, I could put him to breast. They were weaning him off the IV and replacing it with fluid by mouth, hence the needing to monitor the intake amount. But I had gone from pumping 1 cc of colostrum to only pumping 1/4 cc, just a few drops really, over the course of that first day. Being separated and so stressed just wasn't letting me pump successfully. It felt so good to finally pick my baby up and nurse him the way I was meant to. Those were the first happy tears since his birth. They called me every two hours that night to come nurse him. I've never been so happy to be so tired.
By 4am Wednesday he hadn't had any crises and had progressed much farther and faster than any of the nurses or doctors expected, and they removed the last line, his IV. Baby unplugged! By Wednesday afternoon, the doctor was ready to sign off on his discharge, a full day earlier than expected. Because Qualia hasn't had chicken pox or the vaccine, she hadn't been allowed in the nursery or even much on the floor, so she'd only seen him once through the nursery window. RJ brought her up when I was allowed to bring Sebastian back to our room and she got to meet her baby brother for the first time. She gave him kisses and my heart just melted.
We came home Wednesday evening and have been doing wonderfully ever since. We're sleep deprived as all hell, but that's par for the course. Qualia's adjusting to having a new baby in the house, and pretty quickly given that she's also been up late and up early for five days straight, which would challenge a toddler on the best of days. RJ's doing the work of 10 men in caring for Qualia and keeping the house running while I'm in bed with Sebastian. I'm still shaky on my feet if I'm up too long but I'm healing up fast. And Sebastian is just perfect. He's sleeping well, nursing well, and just doing his baby thing. I'm feeling very lucky, very grateful, for this boy of ours.
: 
: 
Congrats!
baby , cool name!
thanks for sharing 
