Explaining AF to your little one

[Jilian]

DS (who is 3.5) likes to watch me go potty, today he came in while I was using the bathroom and AF happens to be here. Here's our conversation:

DS, pointing to my mama cloth: "What's that mommy?"
Me: "That is cloth to catch the blood"
DS (looking worried): "You bleed mommy?"
Me: "Yes, but it's ok. Mommy's bleed from their vaginas sometimes, it doesn't hurt"
DS: "Can I touch it?"
Me: "No, it's dirty blood, you shouldn't touch it"

Later that day DS took a shower with me, our shower conversation:

DS: "Mommy, where is your penis?"
Me: "I don't have a penis, I have a vagina. Boys have penises, girls have vaginas"
DS: "you have a gy-nah?"
Me: "Yes"
DS: "It bleeds?"
Me: "Yes"

Before bed while DS was using the potty:

Me: "Good job going potty!"
DS: "My penis is bleeding"
Me: No, it's not bleeding. Penises don't bleed"

I'm not sure what else to tell him about AF, I can tell he's really trying to understand it. I'm just waiting for our next outing where I'm sure he'll tell everyone that mommy's gy-nah bleeds

[monocyte]

: Jill!


I have the same conversations with DS every month...he usually asks if I need a fresh dipe for my poops, I say, yes, I need a pad, and no, it blood that will help mommy have a baby someday...he says, babys dont eat poop.



I posted the same type situation a while back...

Interested still on how to handle this!

[snuggly mama]

Dd is five, and I tell her that mommy has "lady band-aids". That seems to satisfy her for now!

[Nathan1097]

I was just thinking this today! I'm having AF and my 4 1/2 year old saw me using the bathroom and kinda looked at me weird. A couple times now, my daughter (6 1/2 now but I know once was last year) has asked about it and I just say "Its bleeding and it has to do with having a baby". Then they say "Are you having a baby?" But how to explain the whole menstural cycle or WHAT while you're in the bathroom at Olga's?!?!

[Suzetta]

I really don't go into details...I just tell dd 'mama is having her period", with a real matter of fact voice. I suppose someday she will probe me further, but for now she just accepts this.

[traceface]

I also just say I have my period and need to use a tampon.

I've also told him, you know how you sometimes (used to) need a diaper to catch wetness so you'd be comfortable -- well, mama needs a tampon to keep dry & comfy too..

[moondiapers]

Since they were babes my children have known about my moontime. They didn't see the blood until they were a bit older, but knew that mommy prefered to bathe alone during her moontime. later when they did see the blood I told them that it was my moontime and they accepted it. I also told them that my pads protect my panties from getting stained during my moontime.


-Heather

[AmyY]

The girls are usually in the bathroom with me when I pee: so they see the period. They like to get my mama cloth out and choose the pattern (ladybugs is a current favorite) and lay it into the underwear. They fight over who gets to do this so sometimes I end up with a pile of cloth pads and have to discreetly whittle it down to the one I actually need as I stand up and distract them somehow.

So they know it's period and they know I use pads for it.

They don't know the word vagina yet, I'm teaching them the words as they discover their girly parts themselves. So far we have reached vulva (front part), labia (inside of front part), and bum(back part). And Ali once found her clitoris, she named it a bulb and I said (rather brightly I thought: ) "Yes, that's your clitoris!" No further discoveries to report at this time.

Oh - I do tell them they will have their own periods when they get older. Mostly they think the mama cloth rocks (so do I frankly ).

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by AmyY

They like to get my mama cloth out and choose the pattern (ladybugs is a current favorite) and lay it into the underwear. They fight over who gets to do this

How cute!

[CalebsMama05]

so much to look forward to with my ds!

[frog]

I don't have kids, yet, but a close friend of mine handles this in a way I respect. When her daughter was smaller (she joined their family at almost 3), she started by explaining that every month, women's bodies build "nests" to get ready for a baby to grow in the womb. If there's no baby, the woman's body doesn't need the nest anymore.

[rainbowmoon]

: I have gone through a similiar conversation with DS (though he's a year younger than your DS). he calls my cloth pads "mama's diapers"

[Tonia80]

My youngest saw me changing a pad one day and sorrowfully shook his head and said "Ohhhhh, you poopy?" As if to say he could relate and he understood. LOL I just explained it was not poop but actualy blodd. I explained it was not a boo boo, it did not hurt, but sometimes mommies bleed for a little bit from thier vagina and teh pad keeps my panties clean.He was almost 3 at the time.
Zane is 5 now and has a good understanding about fetal development and birth. (He was at his brothers birth) So, I kept it a bit vague explaining grown up ladies bleed every month cuz there is stuff in a lady to help her make a baby and if her body does not make a baby that month then it comes out in a little blood that does not hurt. I am not quite ready fro teh specific how babies are made talk!!!! Thoug I know that is next!

[Periwinkle]

:

The topic hasn't come up yet for my 4 year-olds since they were too young last time I had AF to remember (still no PPAF and baby is 16 months old), but these are some good ideas. I do kind of worry it would freak ds out because he hates it when he bleeds. I like how the OP handled it!

[OakBerry]

To the OP, I had pretty much the same exact conversation with my almost 4 year old last week. I told him the same thing you told your ds.
He cheerfully told dh that night that he wanted to be a lady and wear a pad to protect him from his bloody vagina... My dh about fainted.

[sweetest]

I just went through this with dd! We were on a road trip last week and I had my period so dd and I of course used the TINY stalls together. I just told her its mamas period. It happens when youre a mommy - in dd's understanding there are two ages: her age and mommy age.

I think its best to give simple answers and wait for more questions. I tend to over-explain things. Right now its just a matter of fact occurence.

[ibex67]

DS has probably known about it since he was 2. Saw the blood when I wiped myself one time. I just explained that mommy's have lots of eggs to make babies with and every month, if mommy doesn't use the egg to make a baby it leaves her body. He was totally satisified with the answer and once he was certain the blood did not = pain or danger, didn't seem to give it another thought. He's almost 7 now.

I have explained it to dd -- now 3 years old the same way.

Talking about the eggs made an easier segueway into discussing the birds and bees later too...

I use tampons and have always been discreet about inserting - mostly because I never want to give little ones the idea of sticking things in body cavities... too many ways that can go wrong...

[~member~]

Only once did I have to use a Tampon in front of my dd, who was 5 at the time. We were traveling and I unexpectedly got my moon.
We were in a public restroom that was filled!

She yelled, "Mom! Why are putting that thing in your butt?!?!" I was so shocked/mortified I couldn't say anything for a moment. And, of course the bathroom went dead quiet.

[AmyY]

These are very interesting responses. Yes I do think my girls are cute with their ladybug mama cloth fetish.:

I hadn't thought of explaining the period as a precursor to pregnancy - I don't know if I can do it that way without lots of therapy Periods have absolutely NOT been precursors, nests, or anything else, related to pregnancy for me.

Dang. Something else still hanging on from the ten years of infertility...:

Thank goodness for ladybug mama cloth.

[2Sweeties1Angel]

DS is 5 and still follows me in the bathroom. It's getting a little bit annoying. He watched me struggle with my Diva Cup when I first got it, so naturally that led to him questioning AF. I just told him the truth--that every month women release an egg and if that egg isn't fertilzed, it comes out and that's what the blood is. Explaining how the egg gets fertilized was slightly more awkward.