Explaining AF to your little one - Page 2

[delicious]

you know what i think is so funny about this? everyone here is pretty honest to their kids about it, but i grew up never knowing anything about it. i was shocked/horrified when i found out about it at school.

i am so glad people are more honest with their kids now.

[Sharlla]

DS1 never asked me anything until maybe few months ago when he wanted to know what my DIva cup was. I gave him the health class version of what menstruation is LOL

I didn't know what a period was until I was 10 and my parents handed me a little booklet and told me to read it

[Nathan1097]

Originally Posted by Sharlla

I didn't know what a period was until I was 10 and my parents handed me a little booklet and told me to read it

No kidding! When I was 10 or 11, my mom took me and my sister (2 years younger) into their room all "There's-something-important-we-want-to-talk-to-you-about"-ish, took out the 1965 Encycopedia Britanica (the section that had celophane colored drawings of the body), and my mom pointed at the woman and said "The penis goes in here..." ! I already KNEW that and I was so embarassed! It was the most pointless "lesson" I've ever had. Reminds me of my childbirth class actually. I paid for it, went every time, and learned maybe one new thing. (I read too much I guess!)

ETA: I was born in 1972, lest you think the Encyclopedia was "new" at the time.

[EnviroBecca]

My mom's explanation when I was little was different in two ways from what anyone has posted:

1. She called it "red stuff" rather than "blood". That's actually pretty accurate, because although it's the blood that has the red color, menstrual flow has several components and is only part blood. It's less scary if you think of it as "red stuff".

2. She said that this is the way an adult woman's uterus cleans itself every so often. This kept me from confusing it with pregnancy or thinking that non-mothers don't menstruate.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the way others have explained it, but I think there are advantages to both of the above.

I remember finding a book about puberty in the church library when I was 7 or 8 and thinking, "Oh, this is that uterus-cleaning thing...so this is how it works!"

No PPAF for me yet, so EnviroBaby hasn't had any opportunity to get curious about it.

[karlin]

DS saw me put a sposie pad on last week (I use both cloth and paper), and asked me if it was a band-aid. I'm sure he saw the blood, and just assumed I needed one. Plus, the paper backing and the sticky part is pretty similar to a band-aid. I just said, "yes" and left it at that since he didn't seemed confused or alarmed. I explain it better to him later on when he can understand more. I thought it was a pretty good deduction for a 2 year old.

[gentlebirthmothr]

//

[gentlebirthmothr]

Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies

She yelled, "Mom! Why are putting that thing in your butt?!?!" I was so shocked/mortified I couldn't say anything for a moment. And, of course the bathroom went dead quiet.

mamaintheboonies,

, oh god, you got to be kidding that your dd said that out loud in a public bathroom.

Everyone Else,

WOW you guys already started to explaining to AF to your little ones. Didn't know you can do it at such a young age.

[weliveintheforest]

I think it is awesome you are being so honest.
I remember seeing blood in the toilet once when I was quite young, and my Mum wouldn't explain, and just the fact that I still remember the scene shows it made quite the impression on my young mind.
I also think its great you are teaching your sons.

[Just_Isabel]

Originally Posted by EnviroBecca

My mom's explanation when I was little was different in two ways from what anyone has posted:

1. She called it "red stuff" rather than "blood". That's actually pretty accurate, because although it's the blood that has the red color, menstrual flow has several components and is only part blood. It's less scary if you think of it as "red stuff".

2. She said that this is the way an adult woman's uterus cleans itself every so often. This kept me from confusing it with pregnancy or thinking that non-mothers don't menstruate.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the way others have explained it, but I think there are advantages to both of the above.

I remember finding a book about puberty in the church library when I was 7 or 8 and thinking, "Oh, this is that uterus-cleaning thing...so this is how it works!"

No PPAF for me yet, so EnviroBaby hasn't had any opportunity to get curious about it.

I really like the way your mother explained it to you! I also liked the nest explanation.

This is something I am interested in, because I don't remember talking with my mother about it. I had a very good friend, 3 years older than me, and when I had questions I asked her.
I'll want my children (when I have them) to know about it and get used to the idea since they're small so I don't have to have an awkward "talk" when the age comes.
Lots of good ideas here. I never really thought about explaining period to a boy, but it doesn make sense.

[gentlebirthmothr]

[quote=Just_IsabelThis is something I am interested in, because I don't remember talking with my mother about it. I had a very good friend, 3 years older than me, and when I had questions I asked her.
I'll want my children (when I have them) to know about it and get used to the idea since they're small so I don't have to have an awkward "talk" when the age comes.
Lots of good ideas here. I never really thought about explaining period to a boy, but it doesn make sense.[/quote]

Isabel,

[stormborn]

Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies

Only once did I have to use a Tampon in front of my dd, who was 5 at the time. We were traveling and I unexpectedly got my moon.
We were in a public restroom that was filled!

She yelled, "Mom! Why are putting that thing in your butt?!?!" I was so shocked/mortified I couldn't say anything for a moment. And, of course the bathroom went dead quiet.

When dd was about 2 she knew all about my moon time, but she also used the moon to tell days because the calander made no sense to her. So she would be told that some anticipated event would be "when the moon is full", etc. And she knew my period is at the new moon. So we're in a crowded store one day and she saw in the bathroom that I was wearing my (cow print) mama cloth and proceeds to talk VERY loudly and all excited " YAAAAYYYYY mama's cows are allllll bloody so that means S. will visit soon!!wooohoooo mama's got bloody cows!!" I was getting the strangest looks.

[mommy68]

I went through this with my son around age 4/5. I remember telling him that it was similar to a diaper. I really didn't want to get in to the whole bleeding thing with him at that time. He got past it and never asked again. I did go through pregnancy when he was older and he asked a lot of questions about that so we aren't embarrassed to talk about stuff with him and like to keep him informed.

[weliveintheforest]

Originally Posted by stormborn

When dd was about 2 she knew all about my moon time, but she also used the moon to tell days because the calander made no sense to her. So she would be told that some anticipated event would be "when the moon is full", etc. And she knew my period is at the new moon. So we're in a crowded store one day and she saw in the bathroom that I was wearing my (cow print) mama cloth and proceeds to talk VERY loudly and all excited " YAAAAYYYYY mama's cows are allllll bloody so that means S. will visit soon!!wooohoooo mama's got bloody cows!!" I was getting the strangest looks.

that sounds SO cute!

[mummy marja]

DS, pointing to my mama cloth: "What's that mommy?"
Me: "That is cloth to catch the blood"
DS (looking worried): "You bleed mommy?"
Me: "Yes, but it's ok. Mommy's bleed from their vaginas sometimes, it doesn't hurt"
DS: "Can I touch it?"
Me: "No, it's dirty blood, you shouldn't touch it"

I like that you're being honest about this! But I disagree with calling it dirty blood, because it's not at all. I get that you don't want him to touch it, but maybe you could think of some other reason why not to. Just thinking about his future partner...wouldn't want him to think of her flow as "dirty".

WOW you guys already started to explaining to AF to your little ones. Didn't know you can do it at such a young age.

I think it's easier to explain this and sex to them very young, while they are still curious but not embarrased about their bodies. It seems so normal and natural to them , and they have no problem with it. dd is almost 4 and she knows how babies get out and how they get in!

[Kundalini-Mama]

Originally Posted by frog

I don't have kids, yet, but a close friend of mine handles this in a way I respect. When her daughter was smaller (she joined their family at almost 3), she started by explaining that every month, women's bodies build "nests" to get ready for a baby to grow in the womb. If there's no baby, the woman's body doesn't need the nest anymore.

This is what we do w/ my 4 yr old, too. Also explainling that it doesn't hurt mommy at all. This also comes up when we are in public restrooms and they have those lil' garbage receptacles. I remind my 4 yr old what they are for, when he is trying to play with them , as I haven't had my period since he was 2 due to pregnancy and breastfeeding. I've told him that due to him and his brother breastfeeding so much, my body is not ready for another baby so I don't need the nests right now.

[Bearsmama]

I'm not usually stumped about what to say to my kids, but I've always been stumped about the period question. DS#1 (4 1/2) says, "Pads are for mommies", and I've kinda left it at that. My little one (almost two), tries to pull on my tampon string!: That's when I have to escort them both out of the bathroom and simply say that mommy needs som $%@#$#$ privacy! (Just kidding, folks, but it does get a little too close for comfort around here sometimes!)

[earthmama369]

Oh, I love the nest explanation. I posted a thread about this the other day, actually -- dd is only 19 months old and has always been free to come into the bathroom with me. Well, her brother was born last week and I forgot about my lochia flow when she followed me into the bathroom the other day. Caught me completely flat-footed. She freaked out a bit. And all the lovely frank, technical explanations I had were just over her head. We've only just gotten into "boo-boos." I think the nest explanation would be perfect for her level of comprehension right now.