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DDDC - he cries himself to sleep every night

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
what am i going to do? i have tried the swaddling and he breaks out of it now. he is crying himself to sleep every single night and not sleeping well during the night. he nurses all the time and beats the heck out of me and my nipples. it was going great for a few nights with the swaddling and now its back to the old routine. he is so exhausted and this mornign is just screaming b/c he was doing that at 5:30 and i just said thats it..we are up!
i have not changed my diet signfiicantly. maybe he's teething but massaging his teeth doesnt seem to hvae an effect. i offer the breast all the time but have to withdraw it when he beats the hell out of me.
im just feeling like a horrible mom.
post #2 of 14
Titus was having major meltdowns the week or so before his tooth finally erupted. He'd not go to bed until 11 and be up at 6 and not nap.

Overall, I have found that the only way I could deal with co-sleeping is to not offer the breast as often. He seemed to wake up just because it was offered and since he wasn't actually hungry, he'd just be that much more awake. I made an effort to try and wake myself up more when he'd start to stir and wait and see if he was roting or seeking me out- turns out he only woke up twice for food! He ended up sleeping in a lot more and naps worked them out.

THen again, teething will undo any of that It's so hard to find a balance.

You're doing great
post #3 of 14
Offering you You are a sweet good mama. It's not you!

When sleep is bad, but most of the day is good, I usually think ear infections. Can you take him in to be checked? It's really fast. I learned this with my son Jude who at 1 after a week of crying at night I called my MIL to see if she had any ideas. She said, TAKE HIM TO THE DR TO CHECK HIS EARS! She said she learned that with her first, too.

Here's just a list of things if it's not his ears:
Homeopathic - Add Rescue Remedy pellets to a small amt of water. When they disolve spoon feed, finger feed or syringe feed smalls bits to him.
Homeopathic - Same thing with Hyland's Calms or Calms Fortes for kids (Fortes it's for night time)
Homeopathic for teething. Those are usually soft & you can just give him a couple pellets directly. Test it yourself though tomake sure it'll fall apart.
Swaddler - there are swaddling blankets (sold at B'R'Us) that come in Large and have velcro on them, so they can't break out.
Can someone else put him to sleep?
Wake up with him at night?
Is he spitting up a lot? If so, he might have an upset stomach from too much milk. Might want to limit.

For you -
Use any but the teethig homeopathics listed.
Allow yourself a moment to step outside if you're getting frustrated. Sometimes it's best for the baby if you set him down & get some peace yourself.
Know that you are a great mama & well loved!
post #4 of 14
Ditto on the homeopathics.

Another thing that helped us when DS was having trouble like that: we gave him a vigorous massage (tapering to a calm massage near the end), concentrating especially on his legs, and even more especially on his toes. The outside of the big toe in particular is a tooth reflexology point and it really seemed to calm him down.
post #5 of 14

You are a great mama!!! Know that your heart is in the right place, and that makes you a great mama! I know how hard it can be... Elliot's been going through a tough period, too. I'm pretty sure it is his teeth, but they seem to be taking FOREVER!!! Last night he was nursing so much that he spit up around 4 am (I'm not always really conscious of how much he's nursing at night since I'm half asleep myself) - so I think I'm going to talk LittleLlama and Spark's advice myself. Just wanted you to know you're not alone on this one!!!

Also, everything seems harder when you are tired, doesn't it??? This too shall pass!!
post #6 of 14
Hugs, Rach. You are such a good mom to Ethan!

I think there are already a lot of wise suggestions on this thread already. I'm sure you've already tried these, but just wanted to mention a couple more in case...

What about wearing him in something tight, like a wrap, and going for a walk outside when it's time for sleep? You kinda get the benefits of swaddling and rocking at the same time. Will usually falls into a very deep sleep when we walk outside in this way, and this is the only time he stays asleep for transfer to bed.

Also, I'm guessing that E has enough head control to handle tummy sleeping? If so, are you putting him on his tummy? Laying Will on the mattress on his tummy, and pat, pat, pat, his back until he falls asleep sometimes works for us. I pat firmly enough that the whole bed kinda bounces with the patting, and he really likes that.

Oh, mama, I hope you find a solution quickly!
post #7 of 14
No advice just s.

And remember, "This too shall pass".
post #8 of 14
Rachel, so sorry your nights (and Ethan's) are still rocky! You're a great mom.

The 2 things Jen mentioned have really been working for us too - a walk outside tummy-to-tummy before bedtime really calms Cailan down, and I've been letting him sleep on his tummy.

I hope you find something that helps.
post #9 of 14
If you think it may be his teeth, are you opposed to tylenol? It really seems to help Drew when he's unusually fussy, chewy and slobbery (aka teething). I also try to massage his gums, but it seems to make him more mad.
post #10 of 14
Daph has been fussier than normal this week and she just got her first two teeth last week so I definately think its related. I remember Jevin having a 6 month growth spurt too and wanting to nurse all the time. Hang in there, it will get better!
post #11 of 14
This was us last week. Someone on the multiples board said "just when you think you can't take it for one more night, the problem suddenly resolves itself." And this is what happened. Things were so hard, fussy all day, up and down all night...and then it all cleared up. I think it was a growth spurt. I can feel myself having more milk now. Maybe it's all in my head; I don't know. So....to conclude

-hang in there
-you're doing well
-it's probably almost over
-6 month growth spurt is a real thing

Good luck! I don't know much about homeopathics etc., but tylenol has helped Kalpana for pain she had with an injection. For what it's worth. And I hate giving/taking medicine.

post #12 of 14
Thread Starter 
thanks for the suggestions mamas! i am sending dh to the whole health foods store tomorrow..we dont have one near here and he will be in a town i know there is a large one.

lately, i have been putting him down and patting his bumm and he's been going to sleep like that. as far as limiting the breast at night, i am interested in that but dont know how to go about doing that really.

i just feel so horrible for him.

yesterday was tough b/c i was watching 4 kids for a friend of mine (she had TWINS!) and he didn't get very much sleep b/c he's not used to all the noise. so he's been sleeping all day today it seems.
post #13 of 14
regarding limiting the breast at night:
I've been trying to do that, because I can't tandem nurse all night!
I can nurse one at a time, but not both. (and even one at a time has its limits, some nights)

You know that book, The no-cry sleep solution? She talks about the "pull-off"....that has worked. I encouraged K&A to "pull off" when they're done, and now they pop off on their own. Sometimes they want to suck and suck, and that's fine. I never pull them off and watch them cry. But I've sort of taught them that they can stop nursing and i'll still stay and rock them, pat them, whatever. So now they'll actually pull off and roll over, and if i continue patting they're fine. It's AWESOME. Sounds minor, but i'm telling you it's great. Especially for all-night sucker Kalpana. It also opens up the possibility of DH helping with them at night, which would be nice too.

post #14 of 14
Alright, I've got to review the NCSS now! I didn't know the pull-off could work that dramatically. I've been having to pull him off from the beginning because he seemed to think being latched 24/7 was his birthright or something. How did you get them to pull off on their own, Kir? If they fuss after pulling them off, how long do you let them suck before pulling off again?

I get so frustrated when the only thing that will soothe him at night is the breast! I totally feel your pain, Rach. We've had a lot of rough nights lately.
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