rules my husband found for dating his daughte - Page 6

[Yoshua]

Originally Posted by secretresistance

Your apparent contradictions are confusing. Am I somehow misinterpreting the parts I bolded?

Your ideas about natural consequences are new to me. Have you consulted the dictionary on what exactly is meant by the term "natural consequences"?

Trust me, those consequences naturally came to my mind.

as for 'contradictions' if you can't see the heart of a paragraph and what is intended by it,sorry, stop reading what I write.

:

[secretresistance]

Originally Posted by Yoshua

If you bothered to follow up my posts you would see I also said it took 2 to tango. They didnt have sex alone. I did.

you have no point here.

You don't need to retreat into rudeness or assumptions. I have read every word on this thread. The fact remains that you are pre-judging a whole set of people based on their gender.

[Houdini]

I actually don't know Yoshua anymore than I know you. I just identify with his sense of humor and agree with him.

[Yoshua]

Originally Posted by treereach

yes, secret, here's another one:


What does that mean? You are a boy, so you you know that boys are all out to have sex with girls and only sex, regardless of what the girl wants or whether its a good idea or if the girl wants it more than him or if she has herpes or if she's a space alien? And this isn't sexist? Come on Sexual indiscrimination in men is just a front for the fact that women can't take it from them. Men aren't really indiscriminate, just look at prison environment.

ANd how do I know before hand that my son is approaching a girl with a father like you. Granted Houdini seems to know you and finds you waving a gun (yes, I know, 'a joke') in her sons face acceptable, but i find that prospect terrifying, whether my son wants to have sex with your daughter or not.

Humans are born to procreate. it is a natural progress.


We are actually designed to procreate "usually" by the age of 15.

so yes.



i've never seen houdini prior to this thread, dont make assumptions.


doubt that your son would get in enough trouble to worry about the gun on a first date unless he really is the type of guy I fear my daughter to date. So if he comes home and says 'he had a gun' tell him 'stay away from him and his daughter, they are bad people'

there you go, i solved another problem for ya!

[Yoshua]

Originally Posted by secretresistance

You don't need to retreat into rudeness or assumptions. I have read every word on this thread. The fact remains that you are pre-judging a whole set of people based on their gender.

Not based on their gender.

I judge all people, and those who claim they don't are liars.


it is human nature to judge. I know of not one person I have ever met in my entire life who can claim "i never judge anyone"

Well... there was Jesus, but even he judged the pharisees.

[Dawn38]

Well said Yoshua!

[Yoshua]

ps-An exception does not make the rule.


If I know that there is a 75% chance of a car jacking in an area, I speed through it.

That doesnt mean 100% of the people there want to car jack me, it means there are enough people in that area that I don't want to run in to.


Sorry for that 25% of good people in the area, but ah well, I'd rather be safe than sorry.

[treereach]

Originally Posted by WNB

I think it is possible to see both the humor and the sexism inherent in stuff like this. Dads are protective of their daughters, sometimes to the point of caricature and making fools of themselves. The underlying message of the self-deprecating caricature is that their daughter is valued and loved and treasured.

That we don't often see these sorts of "rules for dating my son" is a sign of the lingering double standards about boys' and girls' sexuality. Instead, we get "rules for marrying my son" and mother-in-law jokes - jokes with little grains of truth to them, in many people's experience, that show that mothers can be just as controlling and over-protective of their sons, even though it is not generally manifested with respect to his sexuality, but more with respect to "taking care" of him.

Exactly.

It's the sexuality issue between the father and the daughter that disturbs me here. and while the father jokes are a source of pride and a display of strength on the father's part, I don't think that mother-in-law jokes are seen by people quite the same way. the mothers jokes may center on, 'can you marry my son', the fathers jokes seem to center on 'can you have sex with my daughter', something i find to be disturbing. another 'little grain of truth' hidden in the meaning.

But I guess I just think there's a little more to it than 'loved and appreciated' more like owned.

[UnschoolnMa]

You said you wouldn't threaten anyone in one post, but in others you say you will "kill" your daughter's date or "You won't like what happens." Those are threats.

[Yoshua]

Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa

You said you wouldn't threaten anyone in one post, but in others you say you will "kill" your daughter's date or "You won't like what happens." Those are threats.

actually i said it in the same post!

[Houdini]

So maybe they aren't threats.........

[Yoshua]

Originally Posted by treereach

Exactly.

It's the sexuality issue between the father and the daughter that disturbs me here. and while the father jokes are a source of pride and a display of strength on the father's part, I don't think that mother-in-law jokes are seen by people quite the same way. the mothers jokes may center on, 'can you marry my son', the fathers jokes seem to center on 'can you have sex with my daughter', something i find to be disturbing. another 'little grain of truth' hidden in the meaning.

But I guess I just think there's a little more to it than 'loved and appreciated' more like owned.

I see those jokes the same way. It is a mothers form of dominance over their sons home life. DEAR GOD! WHAT WILL WE DO! SAVE THE DAUGHTERS FROM OVER BEARING MOTHER IN LAWS!..... yes it is sarcastic, but I do see it the same way, which is why I don't take offense at either side of it.

[Yoshua]

Originally Posted by Houdini

So maybe they aren't threats.........

hence: The right sense of humor.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by Houdini

So maybe they aren't threats.........

Please explain how "I will kill you" isn't a threat to kill someone. Or how "you won't like what happens." isn't one.

[treereach]

i've never seen houdini prior to this thread, dont make assumptions.

Whatever, the point was that it's a little weird to invite some man to bring out firearms to keep your kid 'in line'. I also don't think it will be effective.

[secretresistance]

Originally Posted by Yoshua

Trust me, those consequences naturally came to my mind.

as for 'contradictions' if you can't see the heart of a paragraph and what is intended by it,sorry, stop reading what I write.

:

I won't deny you what "came to your mind," but that does not make a definition, eh?

Should I not seek clarity when I'm not understanding the meaning behind your words? How else are we to communicate? I don't think I'm crazy to be confused by two entirely oppositional statements in one paragraph. :

[Yoshua]

Originally Posted by treereach

Whatever, the point was that it's a little weird to invite some man to bring out firearms to keep your kid 'in line'. I also don't think it will be effective.

Not really. But then you and I don't have the same thought processes.

[Yoshua]

Originally Posted by secretresistance

I won't deny you what "came to your mind," but that does not make a definition, eh?

Should I not seek clarity when I'm not understanding the meaning behind your words? How else are we to communicate? I don't think I'm crazy to be confused by two entirely oppositional statements in one paragraph. :

nah, feel free to ask me to clarify, but just get this. Sometimes my thoughts jump, so from one minute to the next it can sound like I am contradicting myself, but to me it seems clear.

Some form of insanity I was diagnosed with when I was 6 months old.... that stupid square refused to go in the circle hole....


*edit: I also didnt see my shot gun statements to my son as a threat, more along the lines of one of those 'natural consequences'

[treereach]

ok, whatever, I'm going to make dinner now. just don't go anywhere near my kid with a gun, regardless of where he touches your daughter.

[secretresistance]

Originally Posted by Yoshua

Not based on their gender.
I judge all people, and those who claim they don't are liars.

it is human nature to judge. I know of not one person I have ever met in my entire life who can claim "i never judge anyone"

Well... there was Jesus, but even he judged the pharisees.

Did you not mean to imply then, that you are suspicious of teenage boys in general because you've seen how some of them behave, and remember how you felt as a teenage boy? That is mass judgment based on age and gender and an entirely different animal than judging an individual based his or her own unique merits and faults.