I am so glad my dad didn't feel like he was the defender of my punani's "purity."
The thought of my dad investing that much time into worrying about who was or wasn't allowed in there is completely disgusting.
I find MIL jokes pretty yucky, too. I guess I think those kinds of "jokes" set people up to be at odds with each other before anything negative ever happens, and puts them in a mindset where they aren't responsible for handling their disagreements: "well, that's how MILs are, whaddya want?"
We should, instead, learn to respectfully handle our disagreements and boundaries in a complicated (new!) family relationship. Jokes like that don't do anything to help us through that process, any more than "evil stepmother" jokes do anything to help blended families negotiate those issues.
But I'm bothered by how driven people are to control their kids' sexuality, especially their daughters'... my MIL and I may not see eye-to-eye on all (or even most) matters, but she certainly never thought of forbidding her son from having sex with me. Or anyone else.
His sexuality was his to handle, and she trusted that he was a good, moral, person with enough intelligence to be in charge of his own sexual affairs.
why do we not assume the same of our daughters? Do they deserve less of our trust?