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rules my husband found for dating his daughte - Page 8

post #141 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua
Because I choose to. Why do you feel a need to specify a why?

Ur issue. not mine.
Sorry, because you choose to what? I'm trying to gain understanding of your perspective. You have questioned me about where I'm seeing sexism, I answer you and ask some questions of my own. Dialogue, see? If you're done, say the word.

I don't know what you mean by "Ur issue. not mine."
post #142 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua
Everyone is incompetent with regard to sexual decision pre-18.
Naw, I don't think so. I was a legally emancipated minor at 17, and my sexual values were already pretty much what they are today.

Nothing about turning eighteen magically confers wisdom in sexual matters. I've met 30-year-olds who didn't seem to have any sense at all, and 15-year-olds who seemed pretty solid.

I don't think post pubescent kids need to be protected from their own sexuality; just educated.
post #143 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa

(Bold emphasis mine.)
I couldn't disagree more with that statement. There is nothing special and magical about the age of 18 that imparts some hidden insight regarding sex. I wasn't referring to "crazy people". I was referring to the idea that girls are incompetent and boys are always sex crazed disrespectful beings being crazy.

catch the sarcasm, at least lift your glove into the air so it might accidentally fall into it.
post #144 of 257
I am going to jump in here and say pre-18 my crew are my responsibility, so I will do whatever is I deem necessary to ensure their safety. Each household is different and I don't expect everyone would agree with my decision; however, that is the beauty of it.....the decision is mine to make.
post #145 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by secretresistance
Sorry, because you choose to what? I'm trying to gain understanding of your perspective. You have questioned me about where I'm seeing sexism, I answer you and ask some questions of my own. Dialogue, see? If you're done, say the word.

I don't know what you mean by "Ur issue. not mine."

you accused me of sexism. lets get things into perspective. I am not sexist. I will equally judge all teens because I choose to. everyone judges, i accept the fact.

When I meet a teen on an individual basis, then I will mold an opinion about that specific teen as to how respectful they are of my son or daughter and the rules we have set up for our house.

If I find a girl in my sons room after hours there would be just as much hell to pay as if there was a boy in my daughters.


you call me a sexist. I am an equalist and a realist.
post #146 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Houdini
I am going to jump in here and say pre-18 my crew are my responsibility, so I will do whatever is I deem necessary to ensure their safety. Each household is different and I don't expect everyone would agree with my decision; however, that is the beauty of it.....the decision is mine to make.

/agreed 100%

even though my comment was made in jest and no one caught it.


*edit and btw, just got done watching the bourne supremecy.
post #147 of 257
Yoshua

OT.....Do you know where he is???
post #148 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua

When I meet a teen on an individual basis, then I will mold an opinion about that specific teen as to how respectful they are of my son or daughter and the rules we have set up for our house.

If I find a girl in my sons room after hours there would be just as much hell to pay as if there was a boy in my daughter's room.

ITA Yoshua!
post #149 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua
you accused me of sexism. lets get things into perspective. I am not sexist. I will equally judge all teens because I choose to. everyone judges, i accept the fact.
Again, you seemed to be implying that your judgment of male teenagers is driven by the behavior and mindset of your peers during your teenage years. Is that or is that not accurate? I only work so hard at an answer for this because wouldn't such a basis for your judgment fall right into your preferred definition of sexism?
Quote:
Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.
I must add that this is not the first thread where I have seen you make grand and sweeping proclamations about human males as a group, either.:

Again I will ask: Are you suspicious of teenage girls for different reasons than you are suspicious of teenage boys?

Quote:
When I meet a teen on an individual basis, then I will mold an opinion about that specific teen as to how respectful they are of my son or daughter and the rules we have set up for our house.
See, this is a different tune than you were singing earlier. Which is it? :
post #150 of 257
I am suspicious of everyone when I first meet them. I don't care if you are a teen or an adult. I reserve the right to be suspicious until I am shown otherwise.
post #151 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Houdini
I am suspicious of everyone when I first meet them. I don't care if you are a teen or an adult. I reserve the right to be suspicious until I am shown otherwise.
Same here Houdini!
post #152 of 257
*sigh* do you bring out the shotgun too? geez, if you are that suspicious of everyone, how do you have any friends? this is ridiculous. I'm not sayin that anyone's gloriously happy when their teen daughter comes home pregnant. But isn't educating her and empowering her really the only way you're going to prevent that? I mean other than rape situations, does she really require a shotgun wielding father?
post #153 of 257
No, I don't own a shotgun. But if there was one in the home it would be wielded by myself, not her father.

I actually have several friends of which some agree with me and some do not. That is the beauty of friends....they don't have to agree with you on everything.

I am educating my daughter and empowering her to make wise decisions. It amazes me how you manage to determine my finding the original post funny translates into my not educating my kids. I also am not seeing the jump to my daughter being pregnant as a teen either.
post #154 of 257
I have a lot of friends, but that is not the point. The point is I don't trust just anyone with my kids. I have educated dd about teen pregnancy but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be protective of her. I am just as protective of ds. There is nothing wrong with letting the boy/girl know that I am very protective of my children.
Just because I feel this way doesn't mean it is right or wrong. It is just how I am.
post #155 of 257
I might be suspicious, or at least not totally giving over 100% of my trust to a stranger, but I don't whip out a shotgun when meeting someone new. See the difference? The implication throughout this thread has been that teen boys need to be "managed" by threats of violence. Violence has no place in dealing with my, or other peoples', kids.
post #156 of 257
Quote:
No, I don't own a shotgun.
Well then? You can see what I'm saying.
Quote:
I have a lot of friends
Of course you do, that's because, when your daughter leaves on a date, you don't sit on the front porch glaring at her boyfriend, holding a shotgun.

Everybody is protective of their children in this way. (well, ok , not everyone) I still think it is really weird for a father to be butting into her date's life and their relationship in such a personal way. I mean, watch out for her and make sure he's being nice, but where he puts his hands?
post #157 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawn38
There is nothing wrong with letting the boy/girl know that I am very protective of my children.
You are right. Protective makes perfect sense to me. I am protective of my kids. (They are protective of me too, but that's not the point.) What I have a problem with is saying that threatening to kill or seriously injure someone elses teen is acceptable and just being "protective". IMO it's like excusing spanking a kid with a belt by calling it a "discipline" or "a paddling" instead of assault. You know...the things a great deal of people on this board are against.

If a person ever came after my son with a shot gun, or a bow and arrow or any other weapon I would call the police asap. Somehow I don't think an explanation of "He was on a date with my daughter and got home 45 minutes late." or "He told a lie to my daughter and made her cry." is a good enough reason for a grown man (or anyone really) to physically injure a teenager. It'd likely get you arrested. People mess up. They are late, teens have dramatic moments in their relationships just like everyone else with moments of anger and sadness, betrayal and reunion. No one needs to get shot ya know?
post #158 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa
I might be suspicious, or at least not totally giving over 100% of my trust to a stranger, but I don't whip out a shotgun when meeting someone new. See the difference? The implication throughout this thread has been that teen boys need to be "managed" by threats of violence. Violence has no place in dealing with my, or other peoples', kids.
I guess my crew shouldn't meet up with your crew. I am amazed (yet again) how the thought of this being funny has turned into me bringing a shotgun out (which I still don't own) to threaten anyone.
post #159 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by treereach
Well then? You can see what I'm saying.

Of course you do, that's because, when your daughter leaves on a date, you don't sit on the front porch glaring at her boyfriend, holding a shotgun.

Everybody is protective of their children in this way. (well, ok , not everyone) I still think it is really weird for a father to be butting into her date's life and their relationship in such a personal way. I mean, watch out for her and make sure he's being nice, but where he puts his hands?
I didn't say I wasn't going to polishing a gun when the date arrives...just not a shotgun. I do plan on grilling anyone who comes to my house for a date with any of my children. I plan on being just as protective as Yoshua. Anyone coming into my home (and they will need to come into my home first) will need to assure my of their intentions and I plan on being very vigil.
post #160 of 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Houdini
I guess my crew shouldn't meet up with your crew. I am amazed (yet again) how the thought of this being funny has turned into me bringing a shotgun out (which I still don't own) to threaten anyone.
The shotgun remark is mostly aimed at Yoshua. I don't own a shotgun either.

Why shouldn't your crew meet mine exactly? (Well unless we live close we prob wouldnt anyway but ...lol) It started because some folks thought it was funny, and some found it horrifying. That started a conversation as to why each side thought what they though. It happens a lot. It's debate.
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