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Originally Posted by Houdini
I guess I was close enough to my parents that I didn't feel the need to disobey. I knew they wanted what was best. It did bug me sometimes, but I really had no interest in dating until I was 16. I dated a few guys before I met my husband.
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I don't think the "disobedience" necessarily has anything to do with how close you are to your parents. Speaking for myself, my sexuality is a lot more complicated than "mom said no".
Quote:
| I can't imagine letting my child make their own decision about something as life-altering as a sexual relationship. |
umm...they
do make their own decision. Except those people whose first sexual experience is rape (date or otherwise), we
all make our own decision about a sexual relationship. Of course, the decision we make is affected by our parents - the relationship we have with them, the values they taught us, etc. But, we all make that decision for ourselves. The idea of someone deciding when somebody
else is ready for a sexual relationship gives me the creeps. That was my decision to make, and it will be ds1's decision to make, and dd's decision to make, and ds2's decision to make. I hope they make wise choices and remember the things we've talked about over the years. But, it's still not my decision to make.
Quote:
| I remember how hard it was to remain a virgin and not give in to the sexual pressures felt by myself as well as my boyfriend. I firmly believe that placing yourself in a situation where you are always alone with someone you are attracted to only increases the odds of a sexual relationship forming. Whether you regret the action later or not, it is best not to place yourself in the situation to begin with. |
Best until when? When you're 16? When you're 18? When you're 22? When you're married? Eventually, most people are going to form a sexual relationship with somebody - and, eventually, that's going to be best for that person. Whether the first sexual relationship they form is at a time when that's the best thing for them or not...soooo many variables.
I was
ready for the sexual relationship I had with my ex...at 16. I knew girls who waited until they were 18 or 19, and still weren't really ready when they became sexually active. These things vary wildly from one person to the next. I know two men who remained virgins into their 20's. They both regret
that. I lost my virginity at 15, and don't regret it. So - what's "best"?
..nobody has threatened anybodies sons...we arent going to hurt them...
From time to time we upset each other because we are human, but we apologize and try to move on. We all make the "rules" in my family. I respect that this is not your way, but I do not agree that "that's the problem with the kids today."
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