So frustrating

[nettehead]

So i never thoguth I wouldn't circ my boy until I came here. With lots of questions. Since then I watched the video and read lots of sites. I even looked for pro circ sites to just get counter argue... not that I could find any sites... so I decided to tell my mom today that I am thinking about not circing. Actually I know I am not.. but I thought i would ease into it. After telling me how hard it is to clean a circ penis and that I would have to pull back the skin and clean under it. Which I said you don't ever do and that it is attached like a fingernail.. then she moved on to there must be health reasons.. and I said no acttually I talked to my OBGYN today and even she says there isn't any reason to do it ( i should point out my mom trusts this lady completely bc she went to the same obgyn for all of my siblings) She said well you should ask a ped.. and I told her I planned on it. So then she just got mad and muttered "whatever" It is just so frustrating. I figured I would let people know now that way I don't have to deal with it 7 months when and if I do have a baby boy. I finnally convinced DH by showing him the video.. oh and my mom who I didn't show the video to.. after I asked her Do you know what they do?? she says well they don't remember it anyways.. What a silly excuse. Oh so frustrating

[dynamohumm6]

I just didn't tell people. I don't regard my son's penis as any of their business, or leaving him whole as something I needed to "clear" with them.
You're the mama, you don't need their permission!

[Jillie]

FWIW, very few people know my son is intact. It just never comes up. I'm home w/ my kids, so no one but daddy has even changed him. I found out months after he was born that my own dad is intact and my mom is against circ, although she has never said it. You may find that it is not even an issue, unless someone will be baby sitting a lot. Grandma will learn. And if not, then her baby sitting will have to wait until he is capable of handling his own penis. It is so the right thing to leave him intact. I'm so glad we did. I saw a circed boy today (see the sad post). It was just one more reinforcement that DS is perfect!!!!

[Nathan1097]

I agree. Nobody asks nobody cares, really. I thought my family would be all gossipy about my not circ'ing my first 8 1/2 years ago- the first in the family to be kept intact, but now lots are!!- but past a bit of whispering at another birthday party when he was a few weeks old about "They didn't circumcise him..." it wasn't brought up. Still isn't. And now he has a little brother, twin cousins, and plenty of first-cousins-once-removed who are intact.

[Galatea]

No one cares, really. Just don't engage family members in the discussion before the baby is born, b/c then they will tell you that you don't know what you are talking about. People with kids looooove to do that to pregnant first-time parents about anything. Then, once he is born, you are likely to get only a few comments, and you can just shut those down. And once they are used to seeing him, no one will say anything anymore. But having conversations about parenting while you are still just pregnant is an invitation for everyone else to tell you that you are stupid or naive or whatever. Whether it be breastfeeding or cloth diapering or AP in general or whatever, don't make pronouncements to people about what you plan to do b/c you are just opening yourself up to criticism that you cannot defend against.

[trmpetplaya]

Originally Posted by Galatea

No one cares, really. Just don't engage family members in the discussion before the baby is born, b/c then they will tell you that you don't know what you are talking about. People with kids looooove to do that to pregnant first-time parents about anything. Then, once he is born, you are likely to get only a few comments, and you can just shut those down. And once they are used to seeing him, no one will say anything anymore. But having conversations about parenting while you are still just pregnant is an invitation for everyone else to tell you that you are stupid or naive or whatever. Whether it be breastfeeding or cloth diapering or AP in general or whatever, don't make pronouncements to people about what you plan to do b/c you are just opening yourself up to criticism that you cannot defend against.

I totally agree with this! Though I did tell my mom about everything except not circing. I knew she would be open to hearing about everything else and if I had a boy then she'd be one of the first to know we planned to leave him intact since she was at dd's birth.

love and peace.

[MaryJaneLouise]

I agree, nobody cares. After my two DSs were born and we left them intact, my (very mainstream white bread midwestern straight laced) mom said, well you know your dad isn't circ'd.... Like I would know that!

But I thought that was funny. My dad was born in the 1930s at home (or should I say on the farm) and the doctors just didn't do that back then

[Mountaingirl3]

Any criticism from my mom is so tough to take, so I understand your frustration!

You are doing the right thing for your son. It's good that you gave your mom plenty of time to adjust to the idea of a whole baby. Change can be hard for people.

I had never seen an intact penis before ds was born. It has been a total non-issue for us. It's just another adorable part of his pefect little body. We've given it a gentle swipe with a baby wipe every once in a while, and baths. No retraction, no problems.

As far as they won't remember-aaah! That IS a ridiculous arguement. Is it OK for women to be raped with that date-rape-drug because they won't remember it? Would it be OK to cut a part off your mom without her consent, as long as they used general anesthesia so she wouldn't remember it?

She'll mellow out, and then her beautiful grandson will be all that matters.

[MommytoB]

My mom was for circ and i changed her mind to be "neutral" to it. She did say once that my son's penis looked funny but this was the "first intact boy that she ever seen. That was the last comment and she got used to it after I said at least he doesn't have a cut up one that shut her up.

[redd.]

my mom FREAKED out when it came up that i wasn't getting my ds circ'd
she just about lost it
she's jewish, so my brother is circ'd so i guess she assumes that's just the way it should be but she was so mad at me
"it's so unhealthy"
my ob was relieved when it came up that i wasn't going to cut my son. her words were "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"
then my mom tried to win with the good old "what will you tell ash when he asks why he doesn't look like his father?" to which i got to say "he WILL look like his father"
and she freaked out again because my MIL is a nurse and used to work the neo natal ward and "should know better"
BAH
just do what you feel in your heart is right
you can't let someone else who's so pro-circ get to you
it's hard.
my mother would make me cry
and she loves my ds, despite him being intact
this too shall pass