How to Scare Preschool Moms:

[Still_Snarky]

Tell them you are home-birthing your baby! I figured "What the h#ll! It's the last day of summer school; let's see where these ladies stand!" Here are just some of the responses I got:

*Well, all first time moms need episiotomies. The body doesn't really know what to do the first time. the second time they just slide right out anyway. :

*I'm having an elective c-section; I don't want to mess up my plumbing.

*C/S's are actually safer than vaginal births anyway.

*So are you like, gonna have the baby in your bed? :

*You're going to take the baby to the hospital right afterwards aren't you?

*My baby would have died if he had been born at home. :

*But what about the epidural?

I was one of only two moms who have breastfed too. The other one made it to two WEEKS. Imagine what they would've thought had I mentioned that Parker still nurses!

So, thank you MDC mamas for not thinking I'm crazy! Thankfully I was too pumped up this morning to give a crap what these other mamas thought!

[coco4cloth]

LOL I hear ya. If the moms at my sons school knew we homebirthed they'd freak. I don't know of one mom from my ds school that had a vaginal birth. Very sad. we went on summer break before I had the baby so nobody knows. I'm sure the good news will travel fast though. I will be looked at as the negectful mom. I do not fit in there for many reasons but that's one of them.

[happydoulamama]

Too funny (and sad all at the same time!) I'm glad you went for the gusto and I bet it was hard not to lecture or laugh at some of their responses.

Thanks for sharing!

[time4another]

That's why we haven't spilled the beans to my 6.5year old DD yet-school just got out yesterday and she has a really really BIG mouth! (and I've been very involved at the school this year)

Heather

[Red Sonja]

Wow! I don't know what else to say!

[teachinmaof3]

It's amazing how ignorant some people are.

[*Devon*]

I know what you mean... I don't have kids yet but I am already seriously educated (thanks to Mothering!) about homebirth, BF'ing, cloth dipes, etc. A co-worker of mine (I teach preschool! LOL) is pg and all everyone ever talks about is epidurals, c-sections, how bf'ing was "not for them", vax, circ, etc and it drives me crazy. I don't say anything because I don't have the experience to back it up but I hate hate hate it.

You go, mama!!

[Quagmire]

Same with my DD's preschool. There are so many pregnant moms there right now ... DD actually said something about the hospital yesterday and I was like huh? where did you even learn that word!??!

One other mom breastfed at least as long as I did and she's just had a new baby... I've been dying to ask her if her DD is tandeming and how it's going

[grace's voice]

Originally Posted by devonc

I know what you mean... I don't have kids yet but I am already seriously educated (thanks to Mothering!) about homebirth, BF'ing, cloth dipes, etc. A co-worker of mine (I teach preschool! LOL) is pg and all everyone ever talks about is epidurals, c-sections, how bf'ing was "not for them", vax, circ, etc and it drives me crazy. I don't say anything because I don't have the experience to back it up but I hate hate hate it.

You go, mama!!

Yeah, that's tough. My first pg everyone had something to say and no one would listen to me. Now, I tell everyone who will listen that I'm planning a HB. Its not so hard now that I can say, "oh yeah, Juels was born at home in the birth pool also, it was AMAZING!" What are they going to do, argue and tell me it wasn't amazing? She's healthier than most kids and far better behaved so all they can really do is tell me I got "lucky" its also often assumed I had an "easy" labor or I'm so "brave" or have a high tolerance for pain (quite the contrary!) because I didn't go running to the hosp for an epi.

[AmieV]

gosh, I don't realize how progressive where I live really is until I hear stories like this. The majority of my friends here have had homebirths and at my prenatal yoga classes it always seems like the few women who are having hospital births feel like they have to explain why they're NOT having homebirths, like THEY feel weird. No one has said boo to me, not even my pediatrician who is apparently antihomebirth...my midwife told me that he has said that "home deliveries are for pizzas!" I don't really care about his opinion on it as long as he keeps his mouth shut since I love him as a doc otherwise.

[caterpillar]

Wow, I must be really lucky or something. Where I live (small-ish town, actually), we have a few parent co-op preschools. I'm a member of the best one! Anyway, nearly all of us, including the director/teacher, are completely at home with extended breast feeding (even if they don't all do it), home birth, and AP. We are lucky at this particular co-op: mamas are allowed to bring their babies/toddlers with them even though they aren't enrolled. I happen to be one of only 2 cloth diaper-ers, but oh well! It's funny: they all think I'm so "ambitious" for cloth diapering.

Anyway, I know I'm on a bit of a tangent here, but when I started telling people we'd be having the baby at home, all were so supportive, and many were envious, wishing they could have done so. The rest of them DID have their babies at home, with my legendary midwife!

All of you who are having to deal with this idiocy: find your local La Leche League chapter and go to some meetings. You'll undoubtedly meet a ton of wonderful, intelligent, open-minded AP mamas there.

[ColoradoMama]

I must live in a bubble. I was actually NOT the only homebirthing mama at my son's preschool. There were several homebirthing families at my old church. If I ever venture out into the REAL WORLD - I might be in for culture shock!

[*Devon*]

Originally Posted by AmieV

gosh, I don't realize how progressive where I live really is until I hear stories like this. The majority of my friends here have had homebirths and at my prenatal yoga classes it always seems like the few women who are having hospital births feel like they have to explain why they're NOT having homebirths, like THEY feel weird.

Where do you live??? I want to move there!!! LOL

[Still_Snarky]

We're in a parent co-op...I'm hoping that dd's class will be different come fall. This was just a 3 week summer program and it'll be a new group of kids (and thank goodness, parents too)!

And you're right about LLL, it is a more AP group of mamas, though, I was still one of only 3 homebirthers in the group. That speaks more to our neck of California than anything else I think!

[mamaverdi]

Arg...well maybe post will show up later.

The "my baby would have died at a homebirth" always makes me hopping mad.

I think my babe may well have died had he been in the hospital.

mv

[JayGee]

Preschool was over for the year just before my homebirth, but DH took both DS and DD to the end of year picnic the day after my birth and told EVERYONE! He was so excited to have had our third child at home and proudly annouced to anyone who would listen. Well, the reception he got from most of the parents there was pretty interesting, to say the least. Should be fun when I take DS back in the fall. Our area is not at all progressive. I was actually the only HB mom at my LLL meeting this month, although everyone there though it was great, instead of freaky.

[orangebird]

This is making me feel pretty lucky about DS's nursery school. A few I have talked to have homebirthed and most seem to have used midwives. Only a few that I have talked to had a doc or had the common birthing philosophy seen out there. But we go to the co-op nursery school at the Unitarian church, so there are more liberal type people there. Why is it that it seems only uber liberal or uber conservative people homebirth? (I know, that is a pretty big generalization, especially given I, myself, am not really liberal nor am I really conservative ) but you know what I'm saying? It is like normal culture doesn't do it, just crazy hippies or the super reverant like Amish or Mennonites.

[Guest*]

Originally Posted by ColoradoMama

I must live in a bubble. I was actually NOT the only homebirthing mama at my son's preschool. There were several homebirthing families at my old church. If I ever venture out into the REAL WORLD - I might be in for culture shock!

Lucky you! I'm definitely the weirdo in my neighborhood. I knew 1 other homebirther in Highlands Ranch, but she moved! I keep trying to get some converts, but they just aren't "brave" enough. :

There must be others out there though. There are quite a few HB midwives in our area who have a steady client base.

[rad]

I've heard most of those, espceially this one "My baby would have died if he had been born at home." It's amazing how little people know about homebirth and it's safety. I generally tell most people that I homebirth. After 3 very successful HB, I get very little attitiude. My first was much different. Everyone had a negative comment or something to try and scare me out of it.

This one amazes me "Well, all first time moms need episiotomies. The body doesn't really know what to do the first time. the second time they just slide right out anyway." It's no wonder most women don't trust their body to birth their babies. They think they need a pair of scissors just so the baby can come out.

[MamaTaraX]

Really wanna scare 'em? Have your 4.5 yr old come in two days after witnessing his little brother's birth and graphically describe it all to them! My personal favorite "Mama sounded like a dying cow!!" I simultaneously smiled with pride and wanted to hide Lots of other gems too like "Daddy caught our baby...and I cut his cord!" "i took a nap with the midwife. And I helped Mama eat all of her yogurt and food, it was yummy" "Nothing came out where the poop does, just the baby from her yoni...her yoni got big and stretchy" Yeah, I'm a proud mama This winter, he was a first gradedr and gleefully told his class how his baby brother was born in the water and that Mama was very loud! *GRIN*

Namaste, Tara