Gah. This probably isn't the most appropriate forum for my frustration, but it is related so bear with me 
We were at a party last night, where we met for the first time the wife and baby of one of DH's partners. (Well Dh had met them before but I hadn't...)
The baby is only a few weeks younger than Eden. When I got to the party, Dad was sitting at a table, with an older woman standing by him rocking the baby, who was S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G. I was wondering where mom was, and went to find her to let her know the baby was upset.
I found her in the kitchen warming up a bottle, introduced myself, and told her the baby was crying its head off, and she says "Yeah, some strange lady is holding her...but I don't care!"
Well, I couldn't handle that poor little baby screaming like that, so I took her from the lady and comforted her (in about 2 seconds I might add) until her mother came out with the bottle.
The bottle obviously had breast milk in it, and I thought maybe she was uncomfortable NIP (she's a first time mom), so when she went out to feed baby, I sat down next to her and nursed to give her a little confidence that it was ok
Then later we were talking and she tells me that the baby screams for hours every night (colic, I guess?) and she's planning on calling the pediatrician tomorrow to ask if she should switch to formula
:
So I tell her that's the WORST possible thing she could do, and suggested some elimination diets. I ask her how nursing was going, and she explains she's EP, because the baby didn't like to nurse
When I questioned further, it sounded like she had over-active let down, so I suggested pumping through let down and then putting baby to breast.
And she says, "No, I like doing it this way, it's so convenient." WTF?
So I couldn't resist adding, "well, if you change your mind let me know, I can help you put baby back on breast"
Then later the baby starts to get fussy (I will give mom this, she held and carried baby all evening), but mom was TOTALLY detached from it. She bounced her on her knee and talked over the increasingly loud crying. Didn't seem to notice baby was in obvious pain and distress.
I finally took baby from mom, comforted her, calmed her down. I could tell the noise of the party was making it worse, so I took baby upstairs.
Yes! The mom let me! A practical stranger walks out of a room in a strange house and goes upstairs...and she didn't stop me?
I take Baby upstairs, and it is clear the little thing is DESPERATE to nurse. Rooting and clawing at my breast
.
It took everything in me not to nurse that poor little thing.
Then I figured out that tummy rubs relieved her belleh pain! So I laid her flat on a bed and rubbed her belleh and pumped her wee little legs and she was sooo happy.
Mom didn't come to find us for 1/2 hour
And the second mom picked up baby, she started crying again
I KNOW it's tough being a new mother, and I'm glad I was able to help...but I worry about them. Mom didn't seem very attached, and I give her a month before she switches to formula instead of EP. Because, you know, it's so much more convenient:
Gah.
We were at a party last night, where we met for the first time the wife and baby of one of DH's partners. (Well Dh had met them before but I hadn't...)
The baby is only a few weeks younger than Eden. When I got to the party, Dad was sitting at a table, with an older woman standing by him rocking the baby, who was S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G. I was wondering where mom was, and went to find her to let her know the baby was upset.
I found her in the kitchen warming up a bottle, introduced myself, and told her the baby was crying its head off, and she says "Yeah, some strange lady is holding her...but I don't care!"
Well, I couldn't handle that poor little baby screaming like that, so I took her from the lady and comforted her (in about 2 seconds I might add) until her mother came out with the bottle.
The bottle obviously had breast milk in it, and I thought maybe she was uncomfortable NIP (she's a first time mom), so when she went out to feed baby, I sat down next to her and nursed to give her a little confidence that it was ok
Then later we were talking and she tells me that the baby screams for hours every night (colic, I guess?) and she's planning on calling the pediatrician tomorrow to ask if she should switch to formula
:So I tell her that's the WORST possible thing she could do, and suggested some elimination diets. I ask her how nursing was going, and she explains she's EP, because the baby didn't like to nurse
When I questioned further, it sounded like she had over-active let down, so I suggested pumping through let down and then putting baby to breast.And she says, "No, I like doing it this way, it's so convenient." WTF?
So I couldn't resist adding, "well, if you change your mind let me know, I can help you put baby back on breast"
Then later the baby starts to get fussy (I will give mom this, she held and carried baby all evening), but mom was TOTALLY detached from it. She bounced her on her knee and talked over the increasingly loud crying. Didn't seem to notice baby was in obvious pain and distress.
I finally took baby from mom, comforted her, calmed her down. I could tell the noise of the party was making it worse, so I took baby upstairs.
Yes! The mom let me! A practical stranger walks out of a room in a strange house and goes upstairs...and she didn't stop me?
I take Baby upstairs, and it is clear the little thing is DESPERATE to nurse. Rooting and clawing at my breast
.It took everything in me not to nurse that poor little thing.
Then I figured out that tummy rubs relieved her belleh pain! So I laid her flat on a bed and rubbed her belleh and pumped her wee little legs and she was sooo happy.
Mom didn't come to find us for 1/2 hour
And the second mom picked up baby, she started crying again
I KNOW it's tough being a new mother, and I'm glad I was able to help...but I worry about them. Mom didn't seem very attached, and I give her a month before she switches to formula instead of EP. Because, you know, it's so much more convenient
:Gah.
)
:
it's so sad to see someone without maternal instincts. I could imagine myself ever ever doing that.
, on your reply on this topic.
oh my god, that mom is definetly a horrible mom so far. Most likely shes very mainstream so far. Most likely had an induction that led to emergency c-section or scheduled c-section. Also, most likely the hospital she had the baby at, postpartum part of the stay was horrible as well. Plus, her family/dh's family and their friends most be mainstream as well.
for how you handle the situation.
to what Marisa said about maybe shes suffering from PPD. Heres the link to the thread on 
