Celebrating birthdays on days other than a child's birthdate

[GranoLLLy-girl]

What are your thoughts on celebrating a child's birthday on a date that is not the child's actual birthday?

We have decided to celebrate one of our dc's birthdays during the summer instead of on dc's "real" birthday--because it falls on Christmas day.
Last year we tried to have a party in the month of December and had to change the date a few times due to our own dc's illness (my kids always get sick during the month of December because my dd is a small and kind of fragile--due to some special needs), a last minute Christmas party that DH was "required" to attend and because ds's birthday falls on Christmas day.
Most of our relatives have been quite supportive and thought it was a fun idea so that there was a day just for dc--but some of our relatives were "horrified" that we would do such a thing. We thought it would be better to celebrate in the summer for these reasons: it's not Christmas day, the flu most likely won't be a factor (although we get that illness can stike any time, history has proven that the winter is hard on our kids), people are more likely to come to a party (if we choose to have one) if it's not on Christmas day, and ds won't feel like he is being overlooked if we have a day just for him (especially as a little kid), and summer is the time when more relatives can travel to be with us a family.

I really didn't think it was such a big deal...but now I wonder.

Is it really that bad to change the date that you celebrate a kid's birthday? It's not like we are expecting gifts on both dates, or even on one date--we just wanted ds to have a special day.

I'm second-guessing our decision as a family and would love some thoughts. thanks.

[SoulJourney]

I think it's a great idea!

[queencarr]

I think it's a great idea! I have heard of other families doing this--they called it a half-birthday, so if they were say 6 in December, it would be their 6 1/2 birthday in June. I have even seen the 1/2 idea played up, half a cake, half candles, etc.

[zoebugsmom]

As an almost Christmas baby ( the 27th) I wouldn't like it. I hated having my actual birthday passed over. I would much rather have small party with just close family than not celebrate until summer. Why not just do cake with your dc and dh the day of and a bigger family and friends party a week or so later?

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Oh thank you. I had the "bad parent" tape running in my head when my brother and sister-in-law objected with horror in their email to me.
Why is it that we as moms have to question ourselves over and over, even when our gut says "you are OK"?

[Alana]

We have a tradition that we do on the dc's actual bday....the child picks a place they want to eat....picks out a toy they would like...in addition to gifts from us and their siblings...and then go somewhere the child wants to go. For dd it was to see Curious George, for ds#2 it was to see Ice Age 2...Im sure ds#1 will choose the Natural History museum. And dh takes the day off from work.

As for the party with family and friends....we are doing it in a very different manner...and all the dc love the idea. We are having a big K__ Family Party. We are combing everyone's bday...they celebrate together, invite the whole family and friends...and have lots of fun activities, and make it super fun. It is so much easier for us to plan one big party...easier for our whole family to get together.

[sincitymama]

I think it's a fine idea. Nothing wrong with celebrating a 1/2 birthday. Of ocurse I'm sure you will still recognize the kids birthday ont he day, in a small intimate family way, but december birthdays in cold climates in a christmas-celebrating family can be really tough. We have several in my family and it's so hard. I've actually thought of this for ds. His birthday is a week before christmas-prime time for people to be gone on vacation, attending obligatory work parties, etc... And hte week befor eis his cousins birthday, so to a do a party then they have ot share and I have to coordinate with my cousin, combine our big family plus our spouses big families, etc...All very confusing, and at a hectic enough time of year!

My mom and her sister were both born very close to christmas. One thing their parents did they both appreciated was for kids with winter birthdfays, was they got a 'summer gift'. With a birthday and christmas so close together they had more than enough sweaters and sleds and it kind of all runs together. So in the summer, their parents would make sure since they didn't have a seasonlly convenient birthday they would get a bike if they'd outgrown theirs, o roller skates or some kind of summery outdoor thing that noone would buy or be able to use when there is several feet of snow on the ground. I htought that was a nice idea. They were not rich, actually quite poor, but saved some of the money they set aside for birthdays and spent it in summer instead.

As a kid I loved having my birthday late spring, almost right opposite christmas. It never got overlooked the way holiday season birthdays do.

[onlyzombiecat]

If your child is fine with waiting to celebrate then that is all that matters.
The problem with my summer birthday growing up was always that most people were away on vacation during that time so none of my friends ever came to parties. Something to think about when your dc gets a little older- maybe do it before schools let out.

We haven't done parties for dd's last few birthdays. We ask her what she wants and do something special with dh, dd and I. Later we visit her grandmothers and let them dote on her.

[pianojazzgirl]

I think it's a great idea too!

Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat

The problem with my summer birthday growing up was always that most people were away on vacation during that time so none of my friends ever came to parties. Something to think about when your dc gets a little older- maybe do it before schools let out.

I was going to mention this too. One of my ex-piano students has a summer birthday but she always had a party in the fall so that her school friends could come celebrate with her.

[shelleyd]

I had a friend in highschool who was born on christmas and always celebrated on 6-25. When I was pregnant, my dh and I debated what we would do if our dd was born on christmas but came to no conclusion since we figured the odds of that were pretty low. Well, she was born on christmas day. We have decided to do the summer thing since we want her to have her own special day. Even if we celebrate her on Christmas, nobody else will. So we figure that we'll recognize her birthday on Christmas day but really celebrate (party, etc) in the summer. Incidentally, my sis and dad are now considering celebrating their birthdays in the summer too. My sis's bday is a week before christmas and my dad's is a week after. So we have no experience with this yet since dd is only 6months old, but we do plan on celebrating in summer.

OT, don't you hate how everyone says how terrible it is for your dc to be born on Christmas? I think it's special!

Shelley

[lisac77]

We actually used to have my birthday parties in January because everyone was on vacation in July (my birthday is July 14). I fear for DS when he becomes school age... his birthday is June 10, which usually falls in the first week after school lets out here. Everyone goes on vacation then!

[turtlemama77]

dd's birthday is December 22nd. I didn't even try to have a party for her in December because everyone is so busy. We ended up having a party in January for her (she was a year old) and it was a fun way to get people together. We didn't have the stress of the holidays or anything like that. I think when dd gets older, we'll have her help us decide how to handle her birthday being so close to Christmas.

[Ann-Marita]

Originally Posted by GranoLLLy-girl

What are your thoughts on celebrating a child's birthday on a date that is not the child's actual birthday?
...
Is it really that bad to change the date that you celebrate a kid's birthday? It's not like we are expecting gifts on both dates, or even on one date--we just wanted ds to have a special day.

To answer your questions, NO it is not bad to change the date that you celebrate a child's birthday.

DD's birthday is very near Christmas, too. We tell her that she can have her party ANY day of the year. She usually picks the day according to what kind of party she wants - swim party (summer date), a costume party (Halloween season), etc.

(She only gets a party about every 18 to 24 months.)

We always celebrate her actual birthday with a cake an a special dinner, usually immediate family only, or with one best friend and her family. So her actual birthdate is never overlooked.

DD LOVES that she gets a party any time of year.

You know, a lot of times people will make the party date something other than the actual birthdate - like moving it to a weekend instead of having a party in the middle of the week. This is not that different. We're moving the party to a date that is more convenient for us and the guests, and more in line with the kind of party that our DD wants. No biggie.

I think your brother and SIL need to plan their own parties and quit objecting to the scheduling of your parties.

[elmh23]

My nephews birthday is December 28 and we have a family party for him around his birthday, but not on Christmas. Then he has a friend party during the summer. It works well for him!

[Willowrose]

I don't see anything wrong with it at all. A celebration for the birth of your child is wonderful no matter when you choose to do it!
Technically, your child is only born once and every year after you are just celebrating the childs arrival. Doesn't matter what day you choose to honor that child.

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by zoebugsmom

As an almost Christmas baby ( the 27th) I wouldn't like it. I hated having my actual birthday passed over. I would much rather have small party with just close family than not celebrate until summer. Why not just do cake with your dc and dh the day of and a bigger family and friends party a week or so later?

ITA! I think a week or two away from a birthday is fine, but a whole season, no way! I couldn't do that to my child. With all the other children around them celebrating on their birthdays too. My kids totally look forward to their birthdays. It's a special day, the actual date they were brought in to this world.

[CYL]

I think as long as the child likes the idea, it's a great idea.

My brothers birthday is the 4th of January, so it's always bee really close to the whole christmas/new year celebrations, and he hated it when he was little, because people used to give him one slightly bigger present for both (he always was a quantity over quality child!). I wish we'd had the idea to do this, because it would have saved a lot of screaming temper tantrums from him over the years.

My birthday is in late july, so he always got in a mood about that too.

Anyway, as long as you own DC's have no problem with it (and like most other people, I'm assuming you'll probably do something quiet on his actual birthday as well), then I think it's a great idea.

[GranoLLLy-girl]

quote---I think your brother and SIL need to plan their own parties and quit objecting to the scheduling of your parties.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS. It gave me strength to hold my ground and tell them that this is what we've decided, and (nicely) let them know that it's our family.

[Lisa85]

I think it depends on the kid. Some are totally fine with it and enjoy having a day all to themselves. Some might be inclined to think they're a hassle, and their birthday is at an inconvenient time so it has to be moved.

[chinaKat]

My brother's b-day is 12/21. He always had a summer party (6/21 or close to it) with his friends, but we'd have cake and gifts from the family on his actual b-day.

This worked out well b/c our house was very small and this way he could have lots of little boys run around outside (and camp out when he got old enough).