Originally Posted by birthpartner
Yes, I am guilty of this, but things are now changing--the buck $ stops here now. It seems like he is going to fail all three summer classes. Fall registration is in a week or so and I have already informed him that he needs to make whatever arrangements he needs to with the school or his job to pay for classes or take off a semester. If he takes off a semester I already informed him that rent would be charged. Last year I thought he would not graduate and that would have probably been a good life experience, but one teacher I think passed him when he shouldn't have--he had to come back and clean the classroom. As soon as he pays for the fall, I told him I would need to get paid back in a timely manner. I'm going to track paydays and have my hand out first. It is very hard to watch a child fail, so I can see why so many parents don't realize that they are adding to the problem by giving them an easy way out. Its happened for too long now and I'm on a new mission. If he complains again and wants to move out--the door will be wide open. It will be the third long overdue strike.
Although some here think they would never give a child the boot, it is our supreme job to raise healthy responsible, capable adults. Adults who can find a mate, if they so desire, have a family or not, and have healthy relationships.
Letting a child walk all over you doesn't teach them how to have a good relationship with other adults. (Yes, I know, some of you think YOUR child will never do hurtful, nasty things. Maybe you'll be lucky and they won't. But if they do, or if they are just taking advantage, giving them a free place to live while they float around with no goals, just makes it easy for them to learn the being irresponsible PAYS!
It's importatn that all children, soon after reaching the LAW desinated age of 18, get the message that they are going to be required to live up to certain standards. It may take tsome a bit longer, but BY LAW, the can go to jail for serious screw-ups, so the impotance of knowing how to behave is magnified.
Teaching your kids to have truthful, adult, relationships and the consequences of failing to do so, is just another part of the job. You wouldn't think of allowing a 2 yo to go out and frost-bite his fingers and toes because he didn't want to wear appropriate clothing. (you might let him try for a few minutes, but you wouldn't let them hurt themselves!). Why let an adult child think jobs and bills, and school arte just a joke?
Good for you, birthpartner. Let him know the rules will now be enforced, then do it.
And know you are teaching him to be the adult he'll someday want to be~!