New Posts  All Forums:
 

Vent

post #1 of 31
6/25/06 at 10:01pm
Thread Starter 
Some people say the most thoughtless, stupid things. I have gotten such a mixed slew of comments about my body this whole pregnancy...I am huge and must be carrying twins, I am so tiny I can't possibly have only 7 weeks left, I look fantastic and am not carrying weight anywhere but my belly, I am putting on weight in my butt, etc. Obviously they cannot all be right. If I had my way I would ignore them all and just look in the mirror myself and think I look great! But I am unfortunately influenced by what people think.
So to make a long story short, I had my baby shower 2 weeks ago. I thought I looked great. I walked in all confident and feeling sexy mama-ish. Then on the way home my sil decided to tell me that I shouldn't wear those pants anymore pregnant because they were not flattering. That took the wind out of my sails and I started feeling self-conscious. Then today a friend said how great I look and I only had a basketball and my SISTER said "ALTHOUGH, at your shower friend A and B were talking and said your butt is bigger and I said no it wasn't and then you turned around and I was like Wow, it is!"
Ass. Who says things like that?!?! So now I am feeling like a moron. Are all the people who tell me I look great just lying behind my back? Now my main feelings towards my baby shower is how I looked like a lard butt and everyone was probably talking about it behind my back. I am majorly depressed now. And to add some cattiness to it, all the people who have said these things are AT LEAST 40 lbs heavier than me at my current pregnant weight! So why am I bothered? Hormones?

You may also like:

Are There Benefits to Ignoring Children?
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
10 Things You Don't Need For a New Baby
post #2 of 31
6/25/06 at 10:08pm
You've seen yourself in the mirror, you know you look fabulous.

Next time someone tells you crap like that, especially your sister telling you what other people *may* have said, ask her "why on earth would you say that to me? That really hurt my feelings." Then if she does anything but apologize politely inform her that "When you are ready to be considerate, let me know."

It's not you having hormonal problems, it's them being RUDE!
post #3 of 31
6/25/06 at 11:58pm
What horrible hurtful things for people who are supposed to be your support system to say. I'm so sorry momma. They are just rude. IMO all pg moms are beautiful.
post #4 of 31
6/26/06 at 1:54am
You know, my gut reaction is that they're jealous of how good you look, or how happy you are, or that you're pregnant and they're not. Or maybe all of the above. So many people want to tear others down where they're in a good place. I don't get it.
post #5 of 31
6/26/06 at 1:56am
I was having the same exact issue with a good friend of mine. I came to realize that since she is a lot heavier than I am and she is very unhappy with her life, she was trying to bring me down with her. Pregnant women have enough to worry about and deal with on a daily basis to have some dumb a$$ try and criticize us when we look our *~BEST*~!!! Just remember that you are absolutely radiant and if these relative/friends can't say anything nice, it might be best to avoid them until baby comes...thats how I decided to handle my "friend"!!! You're beautiful momma!!! They can suck it
post #6 of 31
6/26/06 at 8:44am
Here is my standard line for when anyone says anything hurtful, and it applies in every situation I can ever think of and that has ever happened:

"How am I supposed to feel when I hear that?"


And BTW, I think you look great Ya wanna compare asses sometime? I think you'll be pleased by the side by side.
post #7 of 31
6/26/06 at 8:50am
I think people feel they can say ANYTHING to a pregnant women. I've never figured out why. :
post #8 of 31
6/26/06 at 9:09am
Thread Starter 
Thanks ladies! Karma, I would actually rather compare tushies with the ladies in question.
I totally agree with you vegan...WHY do people say things to pregnant women that they would NEVER say otherwise? It makes no sense but I find the more pregnant I get the stupider everyone else gets.
I should probably say in my little sister's defense that she is normally sweet as pie and I think it came out like verbal vomit. As soon as it was out she looked shocked and even called me after she left to apologize again. It didn't really make me feel better though. I told her "whenever someone compliments someone and you interject with a statement beginning with the word ALTHOUGH, it is probably best you just bite yout tongue cause it ain't gonna be pretty."
Although I love LOVE being pregnant it IS difficult to watch your body change everyday and get heavier...especially if you are self-conscious anyways and other people are insensitive. God, people better figure it out within the next 7 weeks cause I will flip out if they still say that when I am trying to lose the weight!
post #9 of 31
6/26/06 at 11:09am
Does your sister have kids? Maybe she's jealous because you are having twins and looking FABULOUS and she wants that for herself.
post #10 of 31
6/26/06 at 11:52am
people do say the rudest things to pg women. I just don't get it :
post #11 of 31
6/26/06 at 12:01pm
Sounds like you are feeling better about everything right now. But, I can't believe that people would make comments like that at your BABY shower! How completely rude and insensitive. :

And, I love Karma's comeback! Since I've had a few run-ins with people saying "wow, you look 9 mos pregnant already." or "wow, you are really all out there lately." or "you are getting FAT." (my gpa) Well, I'm at a loss for finding the words too. And, for some reason, the flabbergasted look on my face isn't enough for them to get a clue.

Hang in there mama! We're almost done and soon we'll have beautiful little babes to show for all our hard work!
post #12 of 31
6/26/06 at 12:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by peilover010202
Hang in there mama! We're almost done and soon we'll have beautiful little babes to show for all our hard work!
True, and then suddenly no one will even look us in the eye anymore. They'd rather ogle over the baby. All of a sudden we will no longer exist! You can wear ANYTHING when you're carrying a cute newborn and no one will say a thing.
post #13 of 31
6/26/06 at 12:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganf
True, and then suddenly no one will even look us in the eye anymore. They'd rather ogle over the baby. All of a sudden we will no longer exist! You can wear ANYTHING when you're carrying a cute newborn and no one will say a thing.
Is that ever the truth!
post #14 of 31
6/26/06 at 1:03pm
Thread Starter 
3 angels, I am not having twins .
post #15 of 31
6/26/06 at 1:21pm

Sorry they have done that to you.
That was insensitive and shallow.

Dont take it to heart (easier said then done, I know) .
post #16 of 31
6/26/06 at 1:54pm
People are so rude. Why on Earth does anyone think that it's okay to discuss the size of anyone's ass ever??? It just blows my mind.

One of my closest friends gained 70 lb with both of her pregnancies and it took her a good long time to loose it all. She would ask me how she looked, and my response was ALWAYS "You look fabulous! Glowing, pregnant and beautiful!" Because she did!!!!

I'm sure you look beautiful too. Hope you had a great time at your shower!
post #17 of 31
6/26/06 at 2:05pm
I am sorry you had to hear such hurtful things. All I can think is jealousy and who looks at a pregnant womans butt? I am always checking out the cute belly's

tara
post #18 of 31
6/26/06 at 3:42pm
I have decided I like the way my SIL's sister is -- She's the sweetest lady in the world to begin with, and she just told me "I think you're the cutest pregnant lady I've ever seen... " We need to hear stuff like that, not that you're so big/fat/small, etc.

My mom and dad apparently were discussing my body behind my back (nice, huh....) and my dad said... "that's all baby there" to my mom. I guess I like that okay too. Like for people who don't see you daily, maybe a "Wow, you're actually pregnant, aren't you?!?" might be okay... but NEVER a big/fat/small/butt/thigh comment.

Just my opinion,
Erin
post #19 of 31
6/26/06 at 9:08pm
I don't really have anything more to add than what's already been said, but just want to give hugs to my beautiful DDC sisters!
post #20 of 31
6/26/06 at 9:10pm
Wait until you have more kids (If you do). No matter what others say, what your own kids say can just melt you.
While getting his pajamas on tonight Ryan just said, "Wait! Mama....you are sooooo beautiful!" then gave me a kiss. Nothing could've been better!

You may also like:

Are There Benefits to Ignoring Children?
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
10 Things You Don't Need For a New Baby