Question from a member who only lurks on this forum

[Houdini]

Is it possible for the mama who has three circ'd boys to ask questions about the case against circumcision? I have been talking via PM with a member of MDC about circumcision and honestly I am not sure where I stand. I have circ'd all three of my boys and one of my sons was re-circ'd at 18 months due to adhesions. I have already seen videos showing circ's, just really interested in hearing other aspects outside of the "watch the video" response.

[Yoshua]

i vouge. i would be the member who told her not to be afraid.


be nice


/fades back out.

[PuppyFluffer]

Absolutely! It is certainly appropriate for you to come her with questions about circ. (It is not appropriate to advocate for circ)
We have many members who have circ'd one or more sons and then have learned more about the procedure and decided not to circ any further sons.
The web resources sticky has a great deal of info on circ.
We also have a sticky thread for parents who have circ'd and now have regrets. There are many personal stories there that may be helpful for you to read.

[pdx.mothernurture]

Welcome, and of course you are free to ask questions! Just remember that this isn't a debate board, so advocating for circumcision isn't allowed. I'd love to hear more of your story, why you made the choices you did, about the complications your son who was recirced experienced, and how you're feeling about the whole issue currently.

Jen

[Houdini]

Yoshua has answered some questions for me already. I am just trying to process information at this point. My oldest son has a run of the mill circ and my youngest two are loose circs. Honestly though they didn't appear to be circ'd when it was done. We had adhesion issues with my middle son and he was re-circ'd at 18 months (unnecssarily according to Yoshua). Not a pretty experience. My youngest also has a loose circ and had adhesions issues, but I decided rather than continually retracting (forcibly) I would leave him to his own devices. He is now five and doing alright. I still wonder if everything is going along fine with him. He retracts his own foreskin most of the way back with just the ridge line not be visible.

One of the things that I asked Yoshua about was the amount of sensitivity my younger two experience with their penis that their brother never had. They are both constantly trying to push their penis back into the foreskin. I guessed it had to do with sensitivity to the head of the penis b/c it hadn't been exposed until they were older. Even when I would retract them the foreskin would cover the head of the penis back up.

[loving-my-babies]

hi! absolutely you can come and ask any questions you may have. I am interested in knowing why you are on the fence regarding circumcision? normally, people I know change their minds after watching the video, so I'm curious about your reasons as to why you're on the fence

warmly,
Carmen

[Houdini]

Trying to do this slowly as I seem to be a bit more emotional than expected. I hadn't really questioned it before the last several months. I left it as a whatever the parent decides issue. I honestly am on the fence if I would do it again. I am not having anymore kids so I guess it is a non-issue.

Originally Posted by pdx.mothernurture

Welcome, and of course you are free to ask questions! Just remember that this isn't a debate board, so advocating for circumcision isn't allowed. I'd love to hear more of your story, why you made the choices you did, about the complications your son who was recirced experienced, and how you're feeling about the whole issue currently.

Jen

[*Devon*]

Have you read the Mothering article on circ? I think it was in the March/April issue. It is what turned me around on the issue!!

[Houdini]

I guess I don't see it as my place to decide for other people. Personally, I don't have any reasons I can put my finger on. I just am going through the questioning process right now. I think Yoshua is going to disable his PM function if I ask him one more thing. So.....here I am.

Originally Posted by loving-my-babies

hi! absolutely you can come and ask any questions you may have. I am interested in knowing why you are on the fence regarding circumcision? normally, people I know change their minds after watching the video, so I'm curious about your reasons as to why you're on the fence

warmly,
Carmen

[nd_deadhead]

Please, ask away!

I can tell you why DH and I chose to leave our sons (twins) intact. We didn't have Internet access, nor were we even aware that this was a controversial topic. DH and his brother are circumcised, as were my Dad and my brothers (we assumed DH's father was as well, but we found out a few years after he died that he was intact!).

Anyway, we talked about circumcision when we found out we were having boys. We both felt that it wasn't necessary. Our thoughts went along these lines:

1. That's GOT to HURT! We didn't want to cause our precious babies any unnecessary pain.

2. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. We didn't see the sense in cutting normal, healthy tissue.

3. We both felt that infant circumcision was more of a cultural/social thing than medical, and neither of us felt obligated to perpetuate the custom. I remember one of us saying "It has to stop sooner or later - it might as well be with us!"

4. When we asked our doctor if there were medical reasons to circumcise our babies, he mentioned reduction in the risk of UTIs and STDs (this was 1994), but he didn't believe they were significant enough to justify surgery.

5. Baby boys are born with a foreskin - it must be there for a reason. At the time we didn't know WHY it was there, but we trusted that the foreskin had a purpose - just like every other body part we're born with.

Since then, I've learned a LOT about infant circumcision, and about foreskins. Nothing I've learned in the last 12 years has even come close to convincing me that infant circumcision is a good thing.

[Houdini]

No. I have mainly been shooting the breeze with Yoshua on this issue. I have read some of the posts here, but he was the one who started the dialogue based on something I said.

Originally Posted by devonc

Have you read the Mothering article on circ? I think it was in the March/April issue. It is what turned me around on the issue!!

[Houdini]

In my family there was no discussion about not circ'ing. It just was what was done when you had a boy. My mother is dead set against leaving a boy intact b/c she has heard too many medical horror stories about infection. My step-father apparently was circ'd at eighteen b/c of problems (don't know the details). I never really questioned it until recently.

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead

Please, ask away!

I can tell you why DH and I chose to leave our sons (twins) intact. We didn't have Internet access, nor were we even aware that this was a controversial topic. DH and his brother are circumcised, as were my Dad and my brothers (we assumed DH's father was as well, but we found out a few years after he died that he was intact!).

Anyway, we talked about circumcision when we found out we were having boys. We both felt that it wasn't necessary. Our thoughts went along these lines:

1. That's GOT to HURT! We didn't want to cause our precious babies any unnecessary pain.

2. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. We didn't see the sense in cutting normal, healthy tissue.

3. We both felt that infant circumcision was more of a cultural/social thing than medical, and neither of us felt obligated to perpetuate the custom. I remember one of us saying "It has to stop sooner or later - it might as well be with us!"

4. When we asked our doctor if there were medical reasons to circumcise our babies, he mentioned reduction in the risk of UTIs and STDs (this was 1994), but he didn't believe they were significant enough to justify surgery.

5. Baby boys are born with a foreskin - it must be there for a reason. At the time we didn't know WHY it was there, but we trusted that the foreskin had a purpose - just like every other body part we're born with.

Since then, I've learned a LOT about infant circumcision, and about foreskins. Nothing I've learned in the last 12 years has even come close to convincing me that infant circumcision is a good thing.

[CallMeMommy]

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead

3. We both felt that infant circumcision was more of a cultural/social thing than medical, and neither of us felt obligated to perpetuate the custom. I remember one of us saying "It has to stop sooner or later - it might as well be with us!"

That was part of my reasoning, if someone says something "has" to be done, well then by golly I'm going to find me a reason NOT to do it!

[Houdini]

Just curious what uses the foreskin has. Are my boys with a loose circ's seem more sensitive, so are they going have more feeling than thier brother? I have been told that the adhesions are a normal reaction of the penis trying to heal itself so there was on reason to have re-circ'd my middle son. The urologist; however, told me that I had to retract my boys to avoid the adhesions and the adhesions would create infections. Just rambling trying to organize the mess in my head.

[sadkitty]

Greetings.
One thing you will learn on this board is that the "horror stories" most peple hear are the result of ignorant U.S. doctors that will amputate this body part at the first sign of trouble. Apparetnly doctors elsewhere actually understand the complex mechanism that is the normal human foreskin.

I like the "familiarize yourself with the purpose and function of the foreskin" approach rather than the be horrified by a video approach. Human rights are also a big issue with all HGM male or female.

My mom had my first 2 brothers circumcised in 1971 and 1980, but left my twin brothers (1993) intact because her husband pointed out the simple concept of "they're born with them, there must be a reason."

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by Houdini

I guess I don't see it as my place to decide for other people.

This is the reason I am anti-circing. It is not anyone's place to decide this issue for other people. When boys are circ'd as infants, other people are deciding for them.

[Quirky]

As far as uses of the foreskin, here are two helpful links:

http://research.cirp.org (discusses the sensitivity of the "ridged band")

http://www.norm.org/lost.html

I think the three most important things to know about the foreskin's function are these:

1) The foreskin contains half the nerve endings of the penis. So circ removes half the nerve endings and destroys sensitivity.

2) The foreskin protects the glans and keeps it a moist, protected, internal structure like it's supposed to be, thereby protecting its sensitivity as well. Think if your own foreskin were cut off (the hood of your clitoris).

3) The foreskin allows for a natural gliding motion during vaginal intercourse, which evidently makes things smoother, less prone to friction, and more pleasurable for both partners. (I wouldn't know, sadly, as my dh is circed. )

[*Devon*]

That was the clincher for me... who am I to take better sex away from my future sons? :

[A&A]

Originally Posted by Houdini

Is it possible for the mama who has three circ'd boys to ask questions about the case against circumcision?

I'd say yes, if she approaches it in the spirit of trying to learn something.

[nd_deadhead]

Houdini, I want to tell you how brave I think you are. You've started to question whether or not circumcising your sons was the right thing to do - which is something a LOT of people are afraid to do! Many parents who have circumcised boys refuse to even think about what they did, much less ask questions about it. They simply cannot bring themselves to acmit that they might have made a mistake.

I admire your courage - and your willingness to open your mind and your heart to an option (leaving baby boys alone) that was not only completely foreign to you, but something your family is dead set against.

This may be a rocky road for you - I'm so glad you found this forum. The fols here are not only very knowledgable, but kind and gentle as well.

And there is no such thing as a dumb question.