Older siblings reactions to the new baby

[eco_mama]

What kind of experiences are you guys having. For those who also have toddlers. Marley likes Elijah but everytime he cries she totally flips out and runs out of the room crying. We are trying to explain to her that, that's how he talks because he's not a big girl (or boy!) yet and can't talk and that everything is ok, . I hope she comes around soon though, we're leaving for NM on Friday so we'll all be in the car together! I think she'll be ok..she just needs some time to get used to him being around. She held him today. She doesn't like to be around him all the time though. I think she's a little nervous or something. DH is making sure he spends extra time w/ her since I'm busy with Elijah. I just feel kinda bad, like our bond isn't the same or something. Do you think she feels the same way toward me? Like she did before the new baby? I'm sure she does but she definitely acts differently. I'm probably just paranoid or something. I just want our same bond, ya know. I don't want her to feel left out or anything so I'm making sure I include her with most everything I do. Especially involving Elijah. I think that will help her warm up to him more.

Anyways, how's it going for you mamas? How are the little ones coping?

[sehbub]

Our girls are doing much better since we brought Sam home. They've been incredibly attached to her since day 1, but seeing her in the hospital attached to all of the tubes and wires, and realizing that she was tinier than the teddy bear they brought to keep her company was rough on both of them. Now that she's home though, they take turns feeding her and holding her, and every time they walk past her they have to give her a kiss. They also tell everyone who enters the house that they have to wash their hands in order to hold the baby! It's adorable how protective they are of her!

Tomorrow is going to be rough, as DD2 has strep throat, and she won't be able to touch/kiss Baby Sam! Poor thing, I feel bad for her already!

[papayapetunia]

Tania is 7yo. The first day or two, she was saying stuff like, "You love Talula more than me." And she would get extremely hurt over everything, like if we told her not to poke the baby while she was sleeping. She's say, "I bet you just don't want me around." So we've just been really aware of her feelings and tried to be really sensitive to what she needs, without trying to let her do whatever she wants, you know? Now, a few days later, she's coming around. She's really proud of herself when she takes care of her sister. She's learned how to pick her up and hold her, and she's gotten Talula to stop fussing a few times. I let her watch Talula if I have to use the bathroom or something. We talk about what a good big sister she is and how lucky we are to have her, so she's really proud of herself, and I think she is seeing that she still has important roles in our family. We didn't just get a new baby to replace her.

[cymbeline]

When #2 was born, my first had a hard time with it. He was helpful, bringing me diapers or wipes or blankets when I asked, but he wasn't used to having to share my attention. He acted out in subtle and not-so-subtle ways (regressed in potty training a little, wrote on the walls with crayon in a few places). He definitely demanded attention in other ways.

Then #2 started in with colicky behavior, and that was kind of a nightmare. He cried for hours on end, and it made all of us (including my oldest) pretty batty. Luckily, it lasted "only" three months :

This time around, the older two have a better understanding of what it means to have a sibling and divide attention. They still regress tho: the younger acts like he can't dress himself, and the older talks in baby talk.

[Paddington]

ecomama7, we have a similar age gap! ds1 was born 4/03. ds1 is doing better than i thought he would but he is definitely not used to splitting the attention. he is helpful in getting things for the baby and wants to sleep next to ds2 (which ds1 is a wild sleeper so i can't let him do which really upsets him....). he tries to do things that he sees his father do with the baby--which i can't allow all of which upsets him....

the sad look i get for not sleeping facing ds1 is starting to not last as long but really hurts my feelings. it makes me feel guilty for daring to have another child. :

but he really is trying to shower him with love. gives him kisses and hugs, tries to stop him from crying. but then he also is trying to get attention by burping or sneezing right after ds2 does. and for good measure throwing himself on the floor in a fit every once in a while.... :

[grace's voice]

Juels just turned 4. She's been a proud big sister since we all watched the pg test turn positive together. She helped her daddy catch her baby brother. She's been hugging him and kissing him and doing all she can to help out. Last night, in the middle of her sleep, her head popped up off her pillow and she said, "Its okay Benny!" Than, bam! Head right back on the pillow. I feel like I haven't seen her since labor started though. I'm really trying to involve her in everything that I can and praise her like crazy but I just miss her. Behn nurses constantly, when he's not nursing he's crying, and my boobs are too sore to even hug anyone right now, much less snuggle Juels. Makes me really sad and I so hope she isn't feeling unloved.

[AugustineM]

DS is 21 1/2 months and I don't think he really understands yet what is going on! He doesn't talk much, just individual words, and he still nurses. I think the hardest thing is that when I am holding the baby and nursing he instantly wants to be held and nursed too. So I am working on nursing them both at once. Luckily DS is used to me counting down and limiting his nursing time, so usually he only wants to suck for about 5 minutes.

Other than that, he likes to kiss Anna and hug her and look at her toes and fingers, etc. It's pretty cute. A lot of work with 2 under 2, but sweet.

[lisap]

DD has moxed feelings about DS. She likes to cuddle him, but then she will turn around and hit him. It's really frustrating and we have to watch her so closely around him. She really starts to hit him when DH is holding him, I know it''s just for attention.

[luv2bmommie]

My DD (almost 3yo) loves the new addition until nightime when they are both sometimes crying and when I am holding baby trying to calm him DD is having a complete meltdown saying she wants to be held. I try to have her sit next to me but she wants to be held. Then both are crying at the same time and it is making me : Hope it gets better soon.

[mcimom]

Originally Posted by EcoMama7

I just feel kinda bad, like our bond isn't the same or something. Do you think she feels the same way toward me? Like she did before the new baby? I'm sure she does but she definitely acts differently. I'm probably just paranoid or something. I just want our same bond, ya know. I don't want her to feel left out or anything so I'm making sure I include her with most everything I do. Especially involving Elijah. I think that will help her warm up to him more.

I can so relate to this feeling - that's just how I felt about dd1 when dd2 came along. The good news was that dd1 really got a stregthened bond with dd1 and after awhile, she and I got our groove back too She was 20mo when dd2 was born. dd2 was my most high maintenance babe too so it was killer - I just remember thinking, someone leave my little girl with me and take this darn baby away for a few minutes! I mean I loved dd2, but she was a lot of work and nursed all the time and I really missed being "we" with dd1.

my girls are all doing well this time around. dd3 is 3 1/2yo and very independent so she doesn't mind the new baby. dd1 is 7yo and dd2 is 5yo and they are just tickled pink by this little guy...but I really relate to that feeling you expressed...

[OwensMa]

Ecomama,
Yours and my children are the same ages, and I completely understand how you feel. DH has been great, but I feel like I'm letting ds1 down, somehow. He's been very loving toward Jared, but will be angry with me if I'm unable to do something, or do it quickly enough.
gtg for now...

[The4OfUs]

Well, we've only been home 1 day so far , but it has been a good day. He's been very helpful in getting diapsers for me, even helping "hold" her head while she's nursing and giving her kisses, which just about makes me want to cry, it's so sweet!

I can't say much else about it, but I'm sure I'll ahve some interesting stories coming up once he realizes that she's here to stay