I am also 34 weeks (well, in two days...) with #3 and planning my first homebirth!
When we got pregnant the first time, I suggested a midwife (this is IN hospital mind you) and dh was absolutely against it. Now I usually get my way (stubborn first born) but he was going to put his foot down on this one - wasn't safe, blah, blah, blah. I signed us up for Bradley classes, we went to the first one (he was even against this as "everyone takes Lamaze - why can't we take Lamaze?" - he was so mainstream then.... ha ha!) We walk out after the first class and I am skipping with joy - just knowing this is the ticket to the birth I want. Dh couldn't argue then - he was sold too.
First dd was born in a hospital with nurse-midwife - perfectly fine - they were very respectful and I had only my blood pressure checked every so often - no IV, no episiotomy, private, quiet, choice of positions, etc. (Have to say the nurses were very impressed with us - don't think they see too many natural births).
Second pregnancy, I suggest using a freestanding birth center. Dh again is totally against this step away from "how everyone does it". I talk him into meeting them (the pair of certified midwives) and after interviewing a couple of places, we find the right fit and he is sold on the idea. We had the MOST INCREDIBLE birth in the world! Same basics as labor #1 but oh what a difference! Dh agrees at that point that we will not go back to the hospital again - assuming all normal with me and baby of course - for future births.
But even given that, I was a little worried to suggest homebirth this time - for as far as he has come, he is still super mainstream and I don't think any of his friends, family or coworkers will be supportive of homebirth. The midwife asked us at one appt if (for the birth) we were coming to her or she was coming to us. I say I was thinking of doing it at home this time and look to dh. He is like "ok". I was so relieved!
I understand the "no uterus, no opinion" thing but I also understand that it is his baby and I am his wife and he is just worried for our safety. I think you can address that (I know for you Anne it is already done - yeah!
) better with a good visit to the midwife than threats of whose uterus it is. I don't think I would have had a homebirth if dh was totally freaked out by the idea - I need him to be the great coach he has been the first two times and I don't think he can be if he is scared to death and resentful that I am forcing his hand.
For me, getting him to read books on birth was like pulling teeth. Our Bradley classes and our great midwives (second time around) made all the difference in how he views birth. And also having seen me birth naturally twice already, he is much calmer about our ability to do this at home.