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Pulled my gun... - Page 6

post #101 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose
But I would like to just hear from the Dads. On this subject. Is that possible?
nope.
post #102 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama
nope.
post #103 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
post #104 of 314
I think you did the right thing.

I am glad everything worked out for you and your baby. That is scary!

PS Not a Dad, but my hubby said that he to fully supported what you did.
post #105 of 314
Hi Moose. I know I'm on my girlfriend's accout here and I know I probably should get my own now that I'm actually replying to something. But, she thought that this post was important. She made me sit here and read everything. I think that you did the right thing. I know that if someone was trying to scare me (yes, men do get scared) with one of my kids in the car I would have done the same thing. And I agree. If that moron would have reached into his pocket, I would have shot too. It's not an ego thing (who's dick is bigger). And if I remember right, it's been many years that you've had your concealed weapons permit and never had to show your gun. Good for you. I think you have a right to protect your family. And you thought about it before you did it. It's obvious that you don't just whip it out everytime you get into an altercation. Other people on here are right too. It is a last resort thing. That was your last resort. You didn't seem to like the fact that you had to pull your gun anyway. You now know where the police station is. Good. My girlfriend is proud of you, and frankly man, so am I. We both have our permits and carry. She wouldn't have it any other way. I'm glad everything worked out for you. And I know that some people reading this are going to hate it, but...Congratulations. For knowing yourself, your rights, and your abilities.
post #106 of 314
I am still baffled at how someone following you in a car justifies you pulling a gun at them. It just doesn't make any sense.

ETA:
You did not point the gun in the air. According to your original post:

Quote:
I get out, pull my 9mm Ruger out from my under arm holster, point it at the driver and yell "You have 5 seconds to leave before I start shooting!"
post #107 of 314
Moose --
You have heard from a few dads. I am a dad and as I wrote before, I support you.

I read ALL the posts. There are a lot of women posting about how wrong you were. I think you did the right thing. Here is the biggest thing to remember -- you have to protect your child (and family). You were attempting to do that because you felt threatened. Animal instinct. All that cell phone crap and police station stuff is garbage if you don't get cell phone coverage or the battery is dead and you are out in the middle of nowhere. You had to react quickly. People can espouse their beliefs about how terrible guns are, but truly, they don't know what they'd do because they haven't been in a situation where they are truly threatened. I have been, and having a gun saved my life.

You did the right thing dude.
post #108 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamamoo
ON Mothering? I doubt it.
this is the dads forum, right?
post #109 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian cowboy
this is the dads forum, right?
Right...on Mothering...
post #110 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian cowboy
this is the dads forum, right?
We do not have gender-specific forums here. All genders of people are allowed to post everywhere. Andfrankly, if this were an issue only facing men I'd agree that maybe it's out of place to post here. But it's not. Moose pulled a gun and pointed it...somewhere, in a road-rage scenerio in a residential neighbourhood with a child in his car. Violence affects us all.

ETA: and plenty of women 'carry' as well.
post #111 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose
I am really glad that people do feel safe and secure in the kindness of the general public. And the reliablity of cell phones. Those same people must never read a paper or watch the news.
No, we just understand statistics and don't believe everything we read.

post #112 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama
nope.

I didn't realize that Moose wanted to hear from Dads. I and other women posted replies to Moose's original post.

I think it is important that Moose and other dads have a forum that they can talk amongst themselves, and they can ask that only "other dads" post in reply, just like I and other mamas ask for respectful and non-inflammatory remarks in our own posts.

So to Moose -- sorry I replied to your post earlier. I defended your choice to pull a gun and thought it was fine given the situation, but, I should have left my opinion to myself because I thought you were asking anyone/everyone. Whoops! I hope you get more male responses as you have requested.
post #113 of 314
I'm the mom and the dad in my family so I'll pretend that counts. I plan to get a gun to keep in the house.

I could understand your actions if you were alone, but with your child in the car(or simply being a father) I would think you would have wanted to take the course of action with the least possible chance of a violent conflict occurring...which you didn't. I've been followed before, and I drove around until I lost the person. I have since been taught(have 3 police officers in my family) to drive to a police station or fire station and just hold down the horn. In your case of not knowing where either was located, I would have driven to any home or business where you knew people were inside and held down the horn. People and/or police would have been at your car within minutes.

99.9% of people are all talk(er...all follow in this case) and no action, but you already knew this person was a little off and/or looking for a conflict if they were following you. And getting out of your car gave the other party every advantage should they decide to pull their gun out too. Why take the riskier course of action with a child?
post #114 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose
My wife was pretty anti gun until I had to pick her up from work during the WTO riots in seattle a couple of years ago.
Um, I was at those protests and the people there with guns were (surprise!) the cops. So does your wife want you to protect her against cops? I don't understand what WTO has to do with anything.

BTW, I grew up and live in Seattle, and I've NEVER felt in physical danger anywhere in the city. What does adding a gun into the mix do but up the chances that someone will be hurt or killed? If guns actually worked as a deterrent, wouldn't the US, with our enormous private gun ownership rate, have a lower rate of violence than countries without private ownership? We don't.
post #115 of 314
I have had my husband read over everything and he is as horrified as I am about the whole incident. I will get him to reply tommorow when he is home from work, just so you get another "dads point of view" from him.
post #116 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian cowboy
Moose --
You have heard from a few dads. I am a dad and as I wrote before, I support you.

I read ALL the posts. There are a lot of women posting about how wrong you were. I think you did the right thing. Here is the biggest thing to remember -- you have to protect your child (and family). You were attempting to do that because you felt threatened. Animal instinct. All that cell phone crap and police station stuff is garbage if you don't get cell phone coverage or the battery is dead and you are out in the middle of nowhere. You had to react quickly. People can espouse their beliefs about how terrible guns are, but truly, they don't know what they'd do because they haven't been in a situation where they are truly threatened. I have been, and having a gun saved my life.

You did the right thing dude.
Its incredibly presumptious to assume that anyone that objects to Moose's actions here has never felt threatened or been in a dangerous situation.

I've been in quite a few. From my perspective a gun wouldn't have helped me and in a couple of situations probably would've resulted in much more dire results.
post #117 of 314
It's seems more than unfortunate to me that a dad can't request a support thread, or at least a flame-free one - when every other forum I've visited on Mothering hosts such posts about other topics...

I've even posted one or two when it was about a situation that I was just too overwhelmed to listen to flames. Maybe activism is the better place to post about gun-control?

And for the record, there is a female-only forum on MDC.

---

Moose, I've been in similar situations a few times - before I was a mother. Whole 'nother ballgame now. Once, I drove to the police station, having called them that I was coming and why. But hardly anyone had cellphones in those days and I was lucky that I did.

Another, I happened to be meeting my DH at his best friend's house - a state trooper. I called them about what was happening and they met me outside, DH's friend with weapon drawn. The guy drove on.

I personally won't have a gun on me. I grew up firing with my family, there was always a gun in our car and a few in the house when I was a kid. But I know that I don't have the temperment to correctly (or at least effectively) use a firearm - so I don't.

You protected your family, and all turned out well. If there were any flaws in judgement, you know what to do to increase your odds of a safe outcome in the future.

I'm glad you and family are all safe.
post #118 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian cowboy
Moose --
You have heard from a few dads. I am a dad and as I wrote before, I support you.

I read ALL the posts. There are a lot of women posting about how wrong you were. I think you did the right thing. Here is the biggest thing to remember -- you have to protect your child (and family). You were attempting to do that because you felt threatened. Animal instinct. All that cell phone crap and police station stuff is garbage if you don't get cell phone coverage or the battery is dead and you are out in the middle of nowhere. You had to react quickly. People can espouse their beliefs about how terrible guns are, but truly, they don't know what they'd do because they haven't been in a situation where they are truly threatened. I have been, and having a gun saved my life.

You did the right thing dude.
: I'm not a Dad but my dh & I had a incident a few years ago where a jerk was following us (very similiar to yours) and it was scary, this was back when we lived in Chicago and while we don't own a gun I could see where what you did made sense for you at that time. I think its easy to say call the police or stay in your car but when you have someone following you (i'd like to say when someone is generally following you and means you harm instinctively you know that, kind of how we at MDC instinctively know our kids) a call may not be the first thought that comes to mind.

Shay
post #119 of 314
Hmm, lemme pour some NVC (Non-violent/Compassional Communication www.cnvc.org) on this:

Moose observed someone tailgating and continuing to follow him all the way to where he lives (perhaps that person was trying to fulfill his need for fun or respect from his peers??). He felt afraid and possibly angry/frustrated, believing that he and his child were in danger. He has a need (as all people do.) to keep himself and his family members safe. He chose to fulfill that need by drawing his gun. A number of PP agree that Moose's actions would have met their need for safety as well.

However, there are some of us who read the OP, pictured the situation on our heads, and felt afraid and possibly angry/frustrated in response to Moose's actions. We agree that we might also feel afraid and possibly angry/frustrated in a similar situation, in response to our need for safety for ourselves and our families not being met by someone tailgaiting us/following us home. However, an number of us posted different strategies for getting our need for safety met: calling 911 on a cell phone, driving to a well-lit area/gas station/other open business. Some of us also indicated that we did not believe that our need for overall safety in our communities would be met by more people legally having/carrying guns.

Would those of you in the first group be willing at least to agree that the strategies of the second group could work at least as well as pulling a gun in a similar situation, and possibly even plan to try them if you ever are in one?

Would those of us in the second group be willing at least to acknowlege that Moose's actions were an attempt to meet a universal need for safety, and do our best to discuss this respectfully? (Use of NVC methods isn't necessary, but it can help us keep in touch with those things that we all share - feelings and needs.)

I'd like to say that this discussion has, for the most part, met my need for respectful communication. (No serious flame throwing so far, IMO.)
post #120 of 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by REDBREAST
I can't help notice that no one posted about how a gun can be removed from you, if in a confronation and then you will have no way to protect yourself or child.
in the situation posted, i think it's safe to say the op wouldn't have allowed the other party to get that close...
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