Hi Rose,
-- then I put her on the change table and a moment later she's laying in a puddle. --
As someone else mentioned, it's possible that at this point, your baby associates the changing table with elimination. She might also be associating positioning (reclining) with elimination.
She probably likes being held in your arms to nurse, so you could slowly introduce different positioning and locations (the toilet, sink, potty or other receptacle) this way. For example, you could start by nursing her in-arms in a reclining position over a diaper on the changing table, then over a receptacle on the changing table, then eventually move on to other receptacles such as the toilet or sink (still combining nursing and peeing if this is what works). Or if she doesn't go while nursing, hold her in your arms in a reclining position (as opposed to a sitting, squatting or standing position) and make your cue sound for her to go.
By cradling her in your arms, she is reclining while going. Then over time, you could gradually increase the angle at which you hold her, until she gets used to being upright. Likewise, you can gradually move her away from the changing table. There is no hurry, though, so take it at her pace. Maybe she'll find the mirror over the sink amusing at some point or want to imitate you, for example, and this might make her like peeing in an upright position and/or away from the changing table.
-- Do any of you have a baby that gets 'mad' at you if you try and they don't have to go? Dd arches her back and starts to cry like she is insulted. --
This is fairly common. Since she seems to associate the changing table with elimination at the moment, perhaps this is why she arches -- "Hey, Mom, put me on the table to pee," and if this is the case, you can gradually and gently work on this with her. There is no rush. (Or maybe she'll change her preference overnight, who knows?)
Find a balance between offering her pee opportunities and keeping her happy and relaxed. Be creative, try to find ways to slightly distract her so she doesn't arch. At the same time, bear in mind that her arching could be a clear signal and might very well mean that she is insulted or annoyed that you don't know she doesn't need to go or that she doesn't like the positioning or location you are using. Take your time, go at her own pace when getting her accustomed to different locations and/or positions.
Laurie
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