"Exams" start today- and I don't mean at school - Page 2

[dnr3301]

I told them at my 34 week appt (I think?) that my pants were staying on around them until the baby came out. I saw CNMs for prenantals with #1, but delivered at home with just me, dh, and my mom.

They did kinda laugh at me, but more of a chuckle chuckle, that Rebecca, rolleyes kind of laugh than a mean one. PANTS STAY ON!

[Mama Poot]

Originally Posted by phoebemommy

Ditto what everyone else has said, but I really wanted to chime in and say how completely crazy going in every day sounds. For what, a pulse and blood pressure? And I imagine they charge (if not you, insurance) for this, yes? I wonder if that's their motive. It also seems like maybe you're being watched extra closely because you want a homebirth, which isn't fair at all.

It was the same way with my first OB. He wanted me to come in every day during the last week of my pregnancy with DS. I thought it was ridiculous, but didn't know any better so I just went. I'm not doing that this time.

Oh yeah and and update on today's appointment- the practice I go to has a CNM ( who is my main care provider ) but also several OB's on staff, and they rotate every visit. Well lucky me the doctor I've never met before today comes in the room. I don't know this man from Adam and he's going to give me a GBS test and VE. Wonderful. He was very nice, asked me lots of questions about having the baby at home ( not in a condescending way- just honest curiosity ) and was one of the only doctors who didn't hurt me during the exam. So that was nice. I'm not dilated yet, and he didn't mention anything about being thinned out, so I assume I'm not.
They want to see me again next week ( "regular" protocol ), but I think I'm going to call beforehand and make up an excuse why I can't be there and just reschedule for the week after. At that point I will tell them that I will not be coming in every single day during the last week. It really isn't necessary. And the MW and docs there are sensible people and wouldn't hassle me....however Medicaid might. Yes unfortunately I have to worry about that. I've heard horror stories about Medicaid dropping people for all sorts of reasons, including refusal to vax and attend every single "well-baby"checkup.
Ahhhhh screw em. I'm so sick of making other people happy :

[nznats]

The everyday in the last week (which possibly wont even be the last week) sounds absurd to me, my midwife suggested every 3 days past 41 weeks but I think I saw her once between 41 and when I went into labour at 42 weeks. I didnt get any ve's untill I was in labour at 9cms (albeit relucatantly) I wont be doing that again, I will check myself if need be. As far as I am aware we dont have GBS testing here so I dont know the protcol for that one (I was never tested) You have the right to decline anything and everything if thats what you want, ve's dont really indicate anything and daily visits just sounds like money gathering and time wasting, as well as adding extra stress to your life.

[bobandjess99]

Simply say NO
I had ZERO exams in my pregnancy. I personally do not do them at all.

[georgia]

I wouldn't even bother to make up a reason as to why you weren't coming in. No need to send out negative energy. A simple, I'm not able to make it tomorrow" to the receptionis (who could probably not care one bit either way) would be It amazes me that OBs have time to see a pg woman every day. How is that at all benefitting anyone? It takes up the "patient's" time, dr's time, other women waiting to be seen. The time, energy, gas, money, etc. blows my mind. Absolutely wasteful. Good for you for holding true

[rad]

Just say no. I had one with my first cause I was over due and they asked if I wanted one. I said yes cause I was curious. I also was curious with my 2nd baby and said yes to one. They were both so disappointing cause I was 0 dialated and hardly effaced both times. I was told labor would probably be later in the week or the following week. Of course, I went into labor within about 24-36 hours both times and had 3 hour labors with both. So they really didn't show anything. I declined it for my 3rd and will for any subsequent babies.

[kalirush]

Exams are worse than useless. I'm convinced doctors do them so that they can make patients feel like they are doing something, or have some control over the situation of "when is that baby coming?"

I'm also convinced that one sparked off my prodromal labor and the rupture of my membranes before I was ready for real labor in my last birth. Say no!

Julia

[katt]

My mw mentioned something along the lines of routine exams being a way of training women to be compliant and do what they say when they say it.

Cause not only does being half naked with your legs spread for someone to probe rather degrading, the more you do it the less you question it when a DR. tells you to do it. (this last part is my take on it)

[mamaverdi]

Completely weird. I agree with georgia and others...no need to make something up: a simple: "I can't make it this week" will do. And no VE for me. Maybe you could print a shirt.

mv

[Seie]

Just really short to say that where I live (denmark) all pregnancy and birth care for normal uncomplicated pregnancies is done by midwifes. Only 3 regular health checkups by a doc during an entire pregnancy unless they find something wrong.
Generally they dont do GBS tests at all (unless if there is special indication to do one) and there are no scheduled internal examinations at all. They only do internals if they want to determine for instance position and an external isnt enough or if the lady is contracting or they suspect her to be in preterm labor or the like. In other words - internals are only done when needed or asked for.
We only see a midwife once a week when we reach the due-date - and then induction is generally not done before 42 weeks unless there are special complications.
This system works fine and we have a general low neonatal mortality-rate (around 0,4%)

All those extra examns and consultations are just BS if you have a healthy normal pregnancy!

[heidi_m]

I am right on board with what pretty much everyone else has said - the very idea of every day is absurd, not to mention increased infection risk from jamming their hands up there, etc, and ESP what one PP said about wasting everyone's time... I also wanted to add that with my first pregnancy, my OB stripped my membranes without discussing it with me first, during a VE that was five days before my EDD.

Just seems like they could do any number of things once they have access to the area... and you just never know that much about any practitioner's philosophy ahead of time, so I don't think I'd take the chance for any number of reasons.

Sending you positive vibes for your impending birth!!

[tash11]

my midwives didnt even ask to check

I would have refused a GSB anyway as I have issues with needles and if someone had tried to stick me while I was in labour I would have freaked out and prolly had to do a c-section anyway which would have made the gbs test worthless.

I checked myself when I was in labor. I found a head. then a few min later my midwife showed up and asked if she could check (I was very obvously in very active labor) I only agreed because I knew it wasnt long. She said 'oh, the heads there' I said "I know".

no matter what I would have refused a check until that point. no reason to have one earlier.....


oh, and the only reason I can see to go everyday is if you are some part of a study or experiment or teaching thing. really sounds pointless and wasteful (not to mention annoying and possibly dangerous).
It might be part of the control thing though. if you let him do that to you every day then you will just sit back quietly and let him do whatever during labour..... ?

[Minerva]

Say no, by all means. I had perfectly wonderful midwives who had no problems with me refusing things ... until I refused the exams they offered starting at 36 weeks. The midwife couldn't come up with any useful info the exam would provide beyond "but you'll know you're at X cm" -- which tells me what? That I'm at X cm. And this was right after she started talking about what would happen if I went past 40 weeks. Having an exam with a pushy provider puts you at risk of "oops, just 'accidentally' stripped the membranes" and puts you on their clock. Babies come in their own time, so do what you have to do to stay off their clock.

[emdeecee_sierra]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

do I REALLY have to have an internal exam every freaking time I go to these appointments from now until I deliver?? And what's the deal with having to go to the doctor every DAY during the last week?? I don't feel like that is necessary, especially in a normal pregnancy like mine. I hated this part last time, and I don't want to repeat it. How should I tell my practitioners that I don't want to have so many exams?? And that I am NOT coming in every single day for a week??

First, congratulations!!! How exciting to be so close to birth!!!

No, you do not have to have an internal exam. Not ever. How do you tell them? Three words to you: Just Say No. But you only have to utter one: "No." I always accompany my "no" with a sweet smile, but the same message is there: No, you may not.

My MW never even mentioned internal exams. From my reading and reasoning, I've determined that they are at best completely unnecessary, and at worst, extremely dangerous (meaning that they are both of those things concurrently).

Every day?!?! That seems a bit extreme. What on earth is their reasoning? Do they even give a reason? Sounds to me like they are going to be looking for any and every reason to turn your normal, healthy pregnancy into something that supposedly needs intervention. My MW sees me at most I think once per week. Even the OBs I've used only see once per week once "due date" has arrived. Keep in mind that they are your employees; you don't need to be afraid of them- you are the pg mama, this is YOUR birth, YOUR body, YOUR baby and they should be doing their utmost to make you comfortable and safe. Seems like they are doing neither.

Hugs to you, I hope you get it all worked out and are able to relax these last precious few weeks. I wish you a dream birth!!

[Mama Poot]

Originally Posted by tash11

It might be part of the control thing though. if you let him do that to you every day then you will just sit back quietly and let him do whatever during labour..... ?

These doctors and my main care provider, a CNM, will not have anything to do with this birth. We have hired a lay midwife who will come to our home to deliver the baby. Only in a dire emergency will the other practitioners become part of this whole thing. It was the same way last time with my old OB. He wanted me to come in every day during the last week, and its the same way in this office. I don't get it- but who cares, I'm not going in.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

These doctors and my main care provider, a CNM, will not have anything to do with this birth. We have hired a lay midwife who will come to our home to deliver the baby. Only in a dire emergency will the other practitioners become part of this whole thing. It was the same way last time with my old OB. He wanted me to come in every day during the last week, and its the same way in this office. I don't get it- but who cares, I'm not going in.

Then just have some terrible car trouble until the baby is born

-Angela

[sarahloughmiller]

That is so weird they want to see you every day. They must be men, not women who have been 40+ weeks pregnant! Who wants to get in the car every day at that point! Just had to add that I had twins, went to 40w 4d and never saw the doc every day. I saw him 1x a week at most.

[tash11]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

These doctors and my main care provider, a CNM, will not have anything to do with this birth. We have hired a lay midwife who will come to our home to deliver the baby. Only in a dire emergency will the other practitioners become part of this whole thing. It was the same way last time with my old OB. He wanted me to come in every day during the last week, and its the same way in this office. I don't get it- but who cares, I'm not going in.

unfortnatly sometimes your plans and their plans dont always match.

[coloradoalice]

Well, I think you need to come down with the "flu" : for your next appointment. And then your dd can come down with it the week after. : You wouldn't want to go into the office and infect all the doctors and the nurses and other patients. That would be rude!! : I made up excuses of not feeling well for visits I wanted to avoid. No one ever even mentioned it!!

That is officially the most smilies I have ever used in a post!

[Mama Poot]

I just thought of something.... Since my doc's office isn't exactly "around the corner", if they hassle me about going to these "daily" appointments, I'll just ask if they would like to pay for my gasoline that week. And then I'll say I'm only coming in if things are done on my terms- NO VE's for any reason. Not much point in driving almost 10 miles to pee on a stick and have someone take my BP, which I can have done for free by my RN mom anytime I want to. Heck, I'll have my mom show me how to take my own BP.

Sigh. What is wrong with people?? :