Binky dilemma

[sadie_sabot]

Hi, friends.

As a baby, my kid never had a binky, she was breastfed exclusively for 6months, and weaned at 3 years old. as an infant, she sucked on our fingers some, but no binky, no thumb sucking.

last fall she started preschool, and there's a couple of kids who walk around with a binky in their mouth all day. For whatever reason, we had a couple around the house...I think it was for when she was teething or something.

Anyway, she has gotten more and more interested in the binky, and now she is in this crazy thing of wanting to have it ALL.THE.TIME.

She wants to sleep with it, she wants to walk around with it, etc, etc. We've been trying to set some limits, ie, you can't take it out of the house, you can't sleep with it, and, of course" I can't understand anything you say to me with that in your mouth!"

I HATE binkies. I cannot stand to see a kid walking around with it in their mouth. It bugs me a LOT so of course, i don't feel very happy about my kid becoming on of those kids.

On the other hand, I sucked my thumb until i was 9 or so, and my aprents engaged in all kind so tactcs to try to get me to quit, without success. As an adult, i think it had a lot to do with my emotional health, as in, I was a sad lonely kid.

So, I am not sure I want to just disappear the binky, or forbid it, because what if dd needs it in some way, if there's something she needs that she isn't getting elsewhere? On the other hand, I feel as though it's a little addictive...like, I used to9 want a cigarette all the time...but that didn't mean ti was giving me something I needed.

I contemplate having a set of rules like, you can sit in the chair and snuggle and have a binky, or somethign like that...but no walkign aorund with it in.

i dunno. help me out wise mamas, help me get a handle on this.

[Roar]

I think it is fine to limit it to a certain location. I'd give her a place to store it - like a bowl and tell her whenever she wants she's welcome to have it in the chair. I wouldn't give it a lot of energy beyond that.

[familylove]

I also think limiting time/location is fine. DS was a major binky fan, but he pretty easily accepted me telling him that he could only have it for naps and bedtime. He used a bink until about 3 and then we scrubbed it all together.

[LynnS6]

Our son used a pacifier and the rules were:

In bedroom or the car. If he really needed comforting, he could sit on our laps with that (and his blanket, they were a pair). After awhile that morphed into "upstairs" (where the bedrooms are) or in the car. We have a short set of stairs leading to the bedrooms (5 steps), so he could sit on top of the stairs and still be part of the action.

I would also add a rule that if it hits the floor, she has to wash it before she can use it again.

So, I think that having a designated "comfort spot" where she can relax with it is fine. No walking around is fine, IMO. If she "needs" the binky, then she probably is feeling tired or stressed and needs to take a little time to relax. If it's a calming spot, then when she's tired of the binky or ready to give it up, she can still use that spot to calm herself.

[sunnysideup]

Because this is a new thing, it is probably just a novelty for her. It's different from a child that has used a pacifier for a comfort object. I would bet that if you just ignored it, and let her try out the pacifier whenever she wants, she'll get passed this without issue.

[UptownZoo]

I don't think this indicates an emotional problem or a need; she's just curious. I think it would be fine to just tell her that you don't like binkies and toss them all out.

[mata]

very similar circumstance here-dd never used one as an infant, discovered one as a toddler and is now very attached. My goal is to phase it out by her third birthday, and we now limit the times she has it in her mouth to sleeping times. Other times she may carry it around the house, but when we go out it stays home. I don't care for it either!

[DreamsInDigital]

My almost 3 y/o didn't take a binky until he weaned from the breast at about 18 months old. He was really into it for a long time. We started limiting it to certain rooms and times and then it became only bedtime after it got to the point where he would never take it out of his mouth. He recently gave it up completely.
I think location limits are a great compromise and are a gentle way to encourage letting go of the binky.

[sadie_sabot]

thank you all. I think I'm going to look into a location limit and see how it goes...either that, or make sure there are none on our vacation in early August with us and none when we come home. Not sure which approach we'll take, yet.