I just have to vent

[nonconformnmom]

The nighttime pottying is driving me insane. I really, really yearn for the days when my 3.5 yo dd wore pull-ups at night and we didn't have to worry about it. Why, oh why did I encourage her to wear underpants to bed? : Now she wakes us up at 4:30 a.m., screaming as if her life is in danger, all because she has to go potty. Why! is it such a big deal?!! Why can't she simply call out to us in a normal way, we're right next door. It's so NOT FUN to be woken up with a panic'ed preschooler screaming over and over before we even have time to open our eyelids and stumble the 3 feet to her door.

Every night when she brushes her teeth I encourage her to use the potty before bed. You'd think I was asking her to cut off her own finger, she cries and runs and objects and freaks out. Why! is it such a big deal to simply go to the bathroom before bed? Everybody does it. It's not a punishment! If she refuses to use the bathroom, I let it go, so there's no forcing involved, it's simply a suggestion but she acts as if I expect her to do something awful. Sigh ... I just don't understand why it all has to have so much drama. How long will this nightmare go on?

[nikirj]

I could have written your post last year! The good news is, DS is 4.5 and he is totally OK for nights now; he hasn't woken up screaming in over a month and it was a long time before that as well. The bad news is it lasted until he was over 4. And I think a large component of the night-time problem was that he is dairy allergic and we didn't know it (when we were getting the diet thing down he would still night wet or wake up screaming if he'd had milk). But that was only half of it, I'm convinced he grew out of it a lot as well; even before cutting out milk he'd been wetting less and going some nights without waking up screaming.

We called him the "Tony Ghost" because he'd wake up waaaaaaiiiiiling. He'd be totally incoherent, too; we pretty much had to walk him to the bathroom, pull down his pants for him, set him on the toilet...the works.

It was whole worlds of not-fun and I feel for you

[hipumpkins]

We didn't actasully nightime potty train DD just stoped peeing at night however she had a few of those screams in the middle of the nght too. It is sooo nerve wracking!! Our solution to not wanting to pee beofre bed was, "If you don't want to pee that is fine but then you will have wear a pull up" she did not want to so she would always pee. BTW...we didn't even have the pull ups in the house anymore so I have no idea what would have happend if she called my bluff

[angela&avery]

i dont allow large drinks an hour before bed, and peeing before bed is part of our night time routine. My 2 and 5 year old brush teeth, go potty, have a sip of water, feed the fish and have stories, then bed. They dont always want to go pee (especially when they are overtired), but I just remind them that if they dont they might pee in bed while I help them through the motions.

We rarely have accidents at night.

[bobica]

*trying* to pee before bed is non-negotiable in our house. she's not always thrilled about it, but it's finally part of the routine before teeth brushing. We've role played a lot about how when she wakes up at night, she can call to us vs. hysterics & it's starting to catch on. We've been in exactly the same place as you

if you talk to her about needeing to *try* to pee every night before bed, but do it during the day when it's not the heat of the moment, she might be more receptive to the idea. then, at night, you could "remind" her about the conversation & how your whole family gives it a try before bed so your bodies can rest better at night. ???? good luck!!!

[Dakota's Mom]

I guess I'm really lucky. A few weeks before Dakota turned 3 she suddenly decided he didn't want to wear a diaper at night any more. He had been dry for several days so I decided to try it. We had a long talk about not going peepee on Nemo (Nemo underwear). He stayed dry all night and has been dry ever since. If he has to go during the night he gets up and goes. The only way we know he went is when we hear the toliet flush, or sometimes he forgets to turn the bathroom light off. He's very independent in that regard.

Kathi

[nonconformnmom]

Thanks, these are good suggestions and it helps knowing I'm not alone in dealing with this. Yesterday I talked to her and I explained that it is very upsetting to be woken during the night by her screaming to us. I told her that if she has to go to the bathroom, to just get up and come in our room and whisper to me that she needs my help to go potty. Then I helped her act it out, sort of. Just before bed I reminded her of how I'd like her to handle it and asked her to repeat it back to me. She did, correctly, and seems to really understand what I'm asking of her.

As it turned out, she didn't have to go during the night. She did, somewhat willingly, go before bed, and that has always been the expectation and stated bedtime routine. Maybe the past few days were just a bad run .... I hope! In fact, this morning, we had to work to convince her to use the bathroom for the first time after getting up ... at 10 a.m.!

[mommy68]

Have you tried cutting her back on her fluids a couple hours before bedtime? That always worked with mine. If I limited their fluids, they never wet the bed or had to go pee til they woke up the next morning.