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Fears? - Page 2

post #21 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3_angels
Does anyone know how much it costs to hire a doula? And how to go about finding one in Columbus, Ohio? (Not the most natural-minded of cities to say the least..)
Try www.bellywomen.net it is a website for free/low cost doulas. I found 1 about an hour away from us. She was willing to come this far too. She only charges $300 but for us that was still too much.

Hope you have better luck.
post #22 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirthFree
How about asking your Grandma to take DS to the park and then take a cell phone - you'll call if you need (ie. want) them back for the baby's arrival or if things are getting 'exciting', but otherwise you wouldn't worry about her.
Yeah, that'd be a good way to approach it.

My granddad is coming up, too, so I don't know if she has it in her head that HE will handle DS while SHE helps with the birth, or whether she really does have the idea of taking care of DS during the birth.

I do know she's very anxious about the idea of me having a HB. And anxiety is never a good presence at any birth, especially one happening at home.

I guess we need to talk about this beforehand. lol. Usually I am so blase about the possibility of hurting people's feelings, but my grandma is a different story, somehow.
post #23 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by eightyferrettoes
Yeah, that'd be a good way to approach it.

My granddad is coming up, too, so I don't know if she has it in her head that HE will handle DS while SHE helps with the birth, or whether she really does have the idea of taking care of DS during the birth.

I do know she's very anxious about the idea of me having a HB. And anxiety is never a good presence at any birth, especially one happening at home.

I guess we need to talk about this beforehand. lol. Usually I am so blase about the possibility of hurting people's feelings, but my grandma is a different story, somehow.
Yes mama, you've got to talk to her. Definitely don't want anxiety looming in the house while you are laboring. Maybe you could plan out a day for her to keep ds busy outside the house - park, swimming, lunch out, children's museum - whatever would keep them busy but able to drop if you needed them home ASAP.
post #24 of 42
Man I'm scared about everything.

I'm scared I'll go into labor at a bad time and it will severly mess up my good grades.

I'm scared of puking during labor (I'm an emetaphobic).

I'm scared that I'll feel more tense at home than I did at a hospital (for various goofy reasons, I'm not scared of homebirth though).

I'm scared that I'll end up needing to transfer to the hospital. Last time it was a two minute drive to the hospital and I did it at 4 cms. That was the worse two minutes of the whole birth! I can't imagine being in a car during transition or something knowing that something is wrong (plus the drive is now 15+ minutes).

I'm scared my husband will be a jerk during labor like last time because he's terrified of losing me during labor and he doesn't know how to handle his emotions like a grown up.

I'm also a bit worried about how my emotional state is going to be after I give the baby to her new family. Post partum hormones can make me a nut.
post #25 of 42
I'm with ChristyMarie...I'm doing OK with the preggers thing (it's my first) and feel pretty comfortable with labor (though I am a little nervous that I'll be embarassed during birth - poopin' the bed and all - but I'm trying to get over that...)

But I am a little nervous about after the baby comes home. I mean, labor only lasts a limited time, but now I'm responsible for a baby FOREVER!!?? Kinda freaks me out a bit...

--k
post #26 of 42
Birthing from Within IS a great book- one of my favs since someone mentioned it.
I am mainly afraid I will have to be moved to the hospital AND have a C-section.
Aside from that I am afraid that I will WANT to move to the hospital because the pain will be SO much worse than anticipated and maybe I am a nut for wanting a home birth when I have NO idea what to expect from labor.
I am afraid that there will be people in my house (ie mom, 2 sisters, best friend and SIL) and I won't want them there when push comes to shove- no pun intended: but I won't know how to get rid of them and their presence will inhibit my labor.
I am afraid after this evening that my husband won't be a stable labor assistant since I had a severe back pain during our evening walk (which is unheard of for me since I never have back pain) and I said I was going right inside to do cat stretches because I was in excruciating pain and he just got on the computer to play a game right away and never even friggen checked on me...not that inspiring of confidence. What if I go into early labor and he blows it off like that? Cause I WILL kill him.
All other fears are secondary to this.
post #27 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3_angels
Does anyone know how much it costs to hire a doula? And how to go about finding one in Columbus, Ohio? (Not the most natural-minded of cities to say the least...
Also look at dona.org - they have a list of certified and those working on becoming certified doulas in your area. When I was working on it (well, oficially I'm still not certified, but I'm way over the births I need... just changed my mind kind of), I did births for free. Then when I got way more than enough births I charged $50 for a while - now that I've been a doula for a while I charge $300 but if someone can't pay that, I can work out a payment schedule or barter for something else, or just bless them. Where there's a will there's a way!

Ask at your local Le Leche League, your childbirth educators, call any local homebirth midwives and ask if they know of doulas in the area - I'm sure you have some... I live in conservative ville (ESP. in birth, our cesarean rate is about 50% in some of our hospitals and our local induction rate is statistically 90% (how sick is that?)) and we have lots of doulas.
~Julie
post #28 of 42
I found a really nice doula last night online (I called her right away) but she costs $450. Is that normal? She's really sweet and I really want to hire her but now I have to convince my fiance that I absolutely have to hire her!
post #29 of 42
Doula costs: in my area the average is about $700-900 but I'm right outside of Chicago in a pretty pricey area. However we found someone who was just starting out, didn't have many births completed so we got her for $450. Call around and try to find someone just starting out - you never know what you can negotiate.

And for the record, we interviewed her as well as a more experienced person and really truly preferred the newer one.
post #30 of 42
My number one fear is that our babe will be born on DP's mother's birthday. It sounds silly, and I haven't yet been able to explain why it terrifies me so much, but there you have it. She's an intensely narcissistic person, and already seems to be viewing this baby as her grandchild without recognizing that hey, it's *our* child, not to mention a person in his/her own right! If that makes any sense. I'm afraid that if the baby is born on her birthday she will use that to make the birth of my child even more about her than she already will. I wish I had the right words to explain it! And because of all of this, I'm afraid that if I do go into labor around that day, that my body will lock up and I reallllly don't want to get started with any interventions.
post #31 of 42
I'm concerned about another hemorrage or hospital transfer. I am concerned about recovering. My recovery was so easy the first time that I feel like I am in for a shock.,
post #32 of 42
I am not so much afraid of having a VBAC as I am the distance I am to the hospital. It is a HARD 1 hour drive to the only hospital that will take me. All my docs are SUPER VBAC supportive, but I feel the same as pp's. I don't want to go too early bc I don't want to get messed with, but I certainly do not want to have this baby on the side of a cliff, either. The view might be spectacular, but that is NOT the way I'd like to do it. LOL
post #33 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2 in August
Try www.bellywomen.net it is a website for free/low cost doulas.
Thank you so much for posting this website. It didn't end up helping me bc there is NO ONE in my state (grrrr), but I have friends who will love this information.
post #34 of 42
I'm scared that the baby will be late and i'll be hot and bored and miserable and grumpy and say hateful things to loved ones.
I'm scared that my husband and mother won't do what I want during labor/delivery, whether not being close enough or being too close.
I'm scared that i'll lose the baby before birth or she'll be stillborn.
I'm scared that in-laws and annoying people will descend as soon as we're home, and I just want to curl up in a nest with DH and be alone with baby.
I'm scared i'll have trouble breastfeeding.

But labor-- I feel pretty good about that, for some strange reason. :
post #35 of 42
I am worried about the timing of my trip to the hospital too. I am a good 45 min away and that is without dropping ds off at the il's. (I figure, if we're really in a rush, someone can meet me at the hospital and pick him up there.)
My biggest fear is kind of odd actually. I am afraid that I am going to throw-up throughout my entire labor. I don't know why I am afraid of that but I am nonetheless.
post #36 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by hajenkatt
Thank you so much for posting this website. It didn't end up helping me bc there is NO ONE in my state (grrrr), but I have friends who will love this information.
You're welcome.
post #37 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by magpiedee
I'm scared that i'll lose the baby before birth or she'll be stillborn.
I'm scared that in-laws and annoying people will descend as soon as we're home, and I just want to curl up in a nest with DH and be alone with baby.
I'm scared i'll have trouble breastfeeding.
I worry about those too.
post #38 of 42
Since my last birth ended up as a hospital transfer from a birth center, I'm feeling alot of self-imposed pressure to make sure I can have this baby out of the hospital (at home this time). I couldn't bear to have to go through a transfer again. My midwives keep telling me that I don't need to worry about it, but I can't help it. I keep imagining having to call my family and say "well, yep, I ended up in the hospital again because I just couldn't get through it"
post #39 of 42
I'm scared I'm going to go to the hospital too early and end up with a lot of interventions.

I'm scared I'll ask for an epidural, or get stuck with pitocin again (which would mean another epidural...there is no way I'm doing that without, it was horrible)

Mostly...I'm scared of how DH and I will labor "together". I don't know what I'm going to need from him. He's always been my rock, he's great about being there when I need him without being too intrusive...but this is so different. And he's a great advocate for me, and knows a lot of people at this hospital...but again, it's different. I *really* don't want a doula. : I want this birth to be this special thing between DH and I, I don't want some extra person there the whole time. But I'm afraid I'm going to seriously regret that decision.
post #40 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccalizzie
Mostly...I'm scared of how DH and I will labor "together". I don't know what I'm going to need from him. He's always been my rock, he's great about being there when I need him without being too intrusive...but this is so different.

Me too! We've been through a lot and always have worked well together in tense situations...but this is so brand new, I'm worried that I may be disappointed in what he can actually do for me. Like massage...he's been working on it, but he's honestly not the world's best masseuse (picture a limp handshake instead of a firm grip...KWIM?), and I'm worried I'll get frustrated and not be able to communicate effectively in the throes of labor. I'll get angry, he'll be hurt, etc...

Other fears...my mom coming to visit after the birth is already stressing me out. She just tends to be on the lecture-y side, and nothing annoys me more!

Ahhh...deep breathing...that's what I keep telling myself...
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