We have major problems with my 4 year old when it comes to leaving places, major, major problems. We go out almost every day and do fun things, I love doing these things with her and don't want to stop, but it is almost always a battle when it comes time to leave.
We have tried almost every "trick" in the book, and the only thing which ever really works is to bribe her with something "big" and "rare" like McDonalds which she loves but I really, really, really, really try to avoid. Smaller little treats (like granola bars or other little snacks in the car) don't work. Telling her we will do X fun thing at home doesn't work (again, unless it is something "major" like a party), but just normal things like read books or eat lunch or paint does't work.
We try the fun game things, "do you want to hop like a bunny or fly like a bird" We try other games like walking funny, race you to the car, etc, etc. Nope...doesn't work..she still resists.
We usually end up having to carry her out to the car...which isn't so bad sometimes. Once we pick her up she is fine and okay with being carried back to the car..but the problem is she is 4 years old, about 50 lbs and just HEAVY to carry. Plus, I always have my 20 month with us, thankfully the 20-month old has no problems leaving and is usually happy to walk beside me holding my hand while I carry the 4-year old. However, sometimes the 20-month old just doesn't want to walk or is trying to run away, so then I need to carry her, and I CAN'T carry them both. Furthermore, carrying the 4-year old while also trying to carry anything else like a diaper bag is EXTREMELY difficult. We are also open to having a 3rd child, so if I get pregnant, then I won't want to carry the 4-year old at all, as dh is pretty firm on me not carrying anything really heavy while prengnant.
Really, though I just don't want to have to carry her anymore. She is just super heavy, and it is just super hard to manage carrying her and anything else (and I almost always have other things to carry like dd2 or a diaper bag, etc.)
The only other thing which might work is to do the "if you can't leave successfully when it's time to go, then we won't be able to do fun things anymore" route..but I really, really, really dont' want to do that. It seems too threatening for one, plus it punishes dd2 (who is totally innocent) as she also loves to go to the playground and library and friends houses and the zoo+ and other fun places, and it punishes me. There is NO WAY my sanity will take staying home and inside for any length of time (like several days). I LOVE getting out, oftentimes the places we go are to meet friends, so that is MY sanity and fun time too. She even pulls the whole resisting and refusing to come inside when we are just outside in the yard playing (and our house is near a very busy road, and we dont' have a fence up (in a few months hopefully), so I don't feel comfortable leaving her outside in the yard by herself).
We talk with her about this over and over and before we get anyplace we go over the how when it's time to go she needs to walk with us, over and and over again...and still when it is time to go she starts majorly resisting and refusing to walk.
Any suggestions....PLEASE!!
We have tried almost every "trick" in the book, and the only thing which ever really works is to bribe her with something "big" and "rare" like McDonalds which she loves but I really, really, really, really try to avoid. Smaller little treats (like granola bars or other little snacks in the car) don't work. Telling her we will do X fun thing at home doesn't work (again, unless it is something "major" like a party), but just normal things like read books or eat lunch or paint does't work.
We try the fun game things, "do you want to hop like a bunny or fly like a bird" We try other games like walking funny, race you to the car, etc, etc. Nope...doesn't work..she still resists.
We usually end up having to carry her out to the car...which isn't so bad sometimes. Once we pick her up she is fine and okay with being carried back to the car..but the problem is she is 4 years old, about 50 lbs and just HEAVY to carry. Plus, I always have my 20 month with us, thankfully the 20-month old has no problems leaving and is usually happy to walk beside me holding my hand while I carry the 4-year old. However, sometimes the 20-month old just doesn't want to walk or is trying to run away, so then I need to carry her, and I CAN'T carry them both. Furthermore, carrying the 4-year old while also trying to carry anything else like a diaper bag is EXTREMELY difficult. We are also open to having a 3rd child, so if I get pregnant, then I won't want to carry the 4-year old at all, as dh is pretty firm on me not carrying anything really heavy while prengnant.
Really, though I just don't want to have to carry her anymore. She is just super heavy, and it is just super hard to manage carrying her and anything else (and I almost always have other things to carry like dd2 or a diaper bag, etc.)
The only other thing which might work is to do the "if you can't leave successfully when it's time to go, then we won't be able to do fun things anymore" route..but I really, really, really dont' want to do that. It seems too threatening for one, plus it punishes dd2 (who is totally innocent) as she also loves to go to the playground and library and friends houses and the zoo+ and other fun places, and it punishes me. There is NO WAY my sanity will take staying home and inside for any length of time (like several days). I LOVE getting out, oftentimes the places we go are to meet friends, so that is MY sanity and fun time too. She even pulls the whole resisting and refusing to come inside when we are just outside in the yard playing (and our house is near a very busy road, and we dont' have a fence up (in a few months hopefully), so I don't feel comfortable leaving her outside in the yard by herself).
We talk with her about this over and over and before we get anyplace we go over the how when it's time to go she needs to walk with us, over and and over again...and still when it is time to go she starts majorly resisting and refusing to walk.
Any suggestions....PLEASE!!
), but wanted to ask if you give a warnings when you start getting close to a transition. For example, if you know you need to leave the park at 2:00, tell her at 1:45 that she has 15 minutes left, then 10, then 5, then 2. KWIM? What works well for us is discussing the plan beforehand, and then doing the "countdown" so leaving isn't a complete surprise.
