I need help with nap time

[Bookmommy]

My dd is 2.5 and we are having a hard time with nap time. I know she needs a nap because with out one she becomes cranky. I lay with her on the bed and read a book or 2 then let her it is time to close her eyes. She starts standing on her head, trying to get off the bed, kicking at me. I want to pop her legs when she kicks me, I am 5 month pregnant. I let her she is going to hurt her baby sister but this does not work. When she gets off the bed I make her get back on, but this is like a game to her. Help me please!

[cmb123]

Is this something new? What worked with her before?

[peacelovingmama]

My son went through a few phases where he resisted naps. We just put him in his room and called it "quiet time." If he didn't nap, I put him to bed earlier that night.

It sounds like lying down next to her isn't working right now so I'd consider not doing that. Or maybe you could tell her that you would like to lie down with her but that, if she chooses to kick, you will have to get up because you need to protect yourself and the baby.

[Twilight]

My DD went through a phase of a few months where she did not nap, and then she picked it up again. The timing seemed to coincide with milestones in potty learning... she started napping again once she learned to poop on the potty before her nap. It sort of makes sense, but it was really frustrating at the time.

When she wasn't napping, we just did quiet time. She was still in a crib at the time... I read her a book and then set her in the crib with 3-4 of her own books. I said she can read books or she can sleep, and I would come back in an hour after quiet time. We had some rough days with this where I would be in and out of her room a lot to comfort her - and more than once she shredded the books in her crib, so I limited her to board books only after that - but I stuck with the quiet time because she did seem to need the down time each day... and I know I needed it.

[Bookmommy]

Yes this is new. She is also potty learning. I will try not getting on the bed with her and giving her books. Thank you for the information.

[cmb123]

A couple of things come to mind.
One is that I know for me, the most frustrating part if my kids didn't nap was that I really was planning/looking forward to some downtime myself (especially when I was preg), so I would get really frustrated, often angry, and it would become this big ridiculous powerstruggle and ruin my whole afternoon- what I had to do for that was let go of my expectations (which only fostered resentment) and be creative about other ways to get some time.
What I also did, which ultimately worked to the point that by the time I had 3 kids, they all napped at the same time everyday with no struggle- was that we had a scheduled nap time that was based around the time when I noticed they would be tired (for us it was 1 o'clock). Nap time was sacred. We made no plans overlapping that time, we didn't go grocery shopping at that time. If we had a playdate, we'd make sure to be home by that time- no matter what.
Then, the key part is that we talked about it. i know 2.5 is little, but she will "get" part of what you are saying, and repetition is key. Talk about nap time/quiet time, when it's going to happen, what your expectations are (be realistic). Talk about it at breakfast, talk about it when your at the playground, talk about it at the dinnertable. Talk about it a lot- not just when it's time to do it. Don't just state your expectations- ask for her ideas- "what book are you going to read today at nap time?" "Which stuffed animal gets to take a nap with you tomorrrow?"
Also, NOT having nap or quiet time was never an option. I'm not talking about forcing them to lay down, or locking a screaming kid in thier room- i just mean that I would not engage in play or other active things during that time. Fine if they didn't sleep (which was really, really rare once we got the routine down), but the house is calm and quiet during that time.
Maybe try starting slow with how long and build up to your desired length of time.