Help with natural consequences

[lovemysunshine]

This is my first post in GD, but I've been lurking and getting some good tips from all of you so thanks!

I generally try to use natural consequences with my very spirited/sensitive 3 yo DD. She reacts better to this than with timeouts like my DH thinks are necessary (that's a whole other topic though ). My question is this: Today she put a pillow on my DS' tummy and proceeded to lay on him (he's only 4 months). What is the natural consequence for this? I would think it would be for him to start screaming, but I can't allow her to hurt him just so she "gets it." Any ideas for this type of thing that help DD understand, but don't cause my DS to get hurt?

[Dragonfly]

Some others might disagree with me but I think that a natural consequence to her being rough with the baby is that mom protects the baby from her by keeping him out of reach or directly supervising all interactions until she's learned to be more gentle with him.

Any other time a parent taking action would be more of a logical consequence, but protecting the baby is your natural position and inclination.

[lovemysunshine]

Thanks for your input on the issue. I will try keeping DS on me if it happens again~ that does seem like a pretty natural consequence for the action, at least as natural as it's gonna get! If only DS were content to be in the carrier 24/7, it wouldn't be an issue. But "he's a squirmy baby" (DD's words) and likes to be down on the ground a lot.

[LynnS6]

The other 'natural consequence' is that you don't leave them alone together. Period. If are with them and she does it, then you redirect her and explain gently that he's too little and she would hurt him.

Since he's probably not mobile, you could also put him down on a blanket and have that be a 'no go' zone for her.

Really, prevention is the best here. 3 year olds are just competent enough to do something really stupid, but not competent enough to see the consequences! My sister came in to see her 3 year old 'showing' the baby a pumpkin by lifting it over the baby's head, and watched in horror as the stem broke and the pumpkin came crashing down. The good news is that it landed next to the baby's head and the only damage done was a lot of frayed nerves. But a heavy pumpkin from a height of 2-3 feet on a baby's head.... I don't want to go there!

[lovemysunshine]

OMG that is so scary about the pumpkin! I'm glad it ended up all right though.

I was right there when it happened. I guess I should say, started to happen. But I ended up half pulling her off him when I realized what she was planning. I'd rather not physically remove her since I wouldn't want to be treated that way. But the safety of DS has to come before that.

Redirection sems to be spotty with her unfortunately; it all depends how determined she is to do something I think and how involved she is. Thanks for the advice!