getting 3&4 year olds to try new foods - impossible? - Page 2

[jillmamma]

I have some success with serving some things with stuff I KNOW he likes. Like I can get some broccoli in him if I serve it mixed in with rice and cheese. He won't even touch it plain. Also, he seems to go in phases...food he LOVED a year ago, he won't eat now, and some food he would not touch a few months ago, he is eating again. I figure my job is to offer him healthy foods, make sure that there is at least one thing he likes on his plate, and it is HIS job to eat. He still nurses a couple times a day as well, so that helps me know at least he is getting some good milk in him.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by jillmamma

Also, he seems to go in phases...food he LOVED a year ago, he won't eat now, and some food he would not touch a few months ago, he is eating again.

Totally. My daughter (6) does the same thing, even though she is not a very selective eater. The other night, she decided that she liked broccoli and red onions (?!); after disliking them since ... forever. However, still no go on zucchini.

I can tell you what doesn't work to help the selective eater, after observation: bribery (sticker charts, rewards); yelling; "one more bite;" basically, making a power issue out of it.

We know someone with a child who won't eat anything except very specific foods; won't even eat those if something else forbidden even touched the food on their plate; and there's lots of crying and fussing during dinner no matter what. It's very stressful to me to even watch, I don't know what it's like to be the kid in that situation.

[boongirl]

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

I can tell you what doesn't work to help the selective eater, after observation: bribery (sticker charts, rewards); yelling; "one more bite;" basically, making a power issue out of it.

Interestingly enough, dd finally started trying desserts a few months ago, at age 3. She was never interested in cookies, cakes, ice cream, lollipops until a few months back. So, now, if it really is an issue, we can hold dessert out as a bribe to get her to eat something healthy. We only do this when she knows there is dessert and is announcing at the dinner table that she will not eat her food but will eat dessert. So, we have to say that she cannot have dessert until this and this is eaten. Usually it amounts to a few bites of the veggies and she will do it. Given her choice, she would subsist on canned black beans, cookies, and Robert's gourmet cheese puffs.

[Fiddlemom]

:LOL
I just had to laugh when I read the thread title, because I've bemoaned the serious disinterest in most foods for ds who's 3.5! He is a classic, out of the book, picky, "Night of the Living Foods Touching Each Other", won't eat dinner kinda guy.

I look forward to reading suggestions; however I have noticed that he does eat a pretty balanced diet entirely on his own over the course of 4 or 5 days. In fact dh & I joke, "Oh look! It must be green bean day." :LOL

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by boongirl

Interestingly enough, dd finally started trying desserts a few months ago, at age 3. She was never interested in cookies, cakes, ice cream, lollipops until a few months back. So, now, if it really is an issue, we can hold dessert out as a bribe to get her to eat something healthy. We only do this when she knows there is dessert and is announcing at the dinner table that she will not eat her food but will eat dessert. So, we have to say that she cannot have dessert until this and this is eaten. Usually it amounts to a few bites of the veggies and she will do it. Given her choice, she would subsist on canned black beans, cookies, and Robert's gourmet cheese puffs.

Well, I think it works in the short-term, but in the long-term (say, by age 5) it leads to some rather unsavory (har) behavior by both parent and child. "I won't eat it unless you give me dessert (which wasn't originally on the menu)," insisting on dessert every night, extensively negotiating over bites (by 5 they're almost scarily good negotiators) tears and frustration over the power issues inherent over how many bites of what and when, manipulating the food to make it seem like you ate more when you didn't, seeing dessert as good thing/dinner as the bad thing, etc. Basically, a real power struggle. In our family, we do say you have to have some protein (of some sort) before sugar, or else you'll get a stomachache. And we did let her find out that we weren't lying about that either once (she ate a bagful of candy on an empty stomach, and was sick).

I don't know. Maybe it works well for some people long-term, and I'd be open to hearing those experiences. But based on what I've seen personally, I would just give the black beans and puffs and a vitamin and serve fruit for "dessert." And uh, I don't want this to turn into an eating-debate thread, because those are just wicked mean. And, I don't have personal experience with it, because I don't have a particularly selective eater. So what do I know.

I just really recommend finding that "brain, child" article! It's so good!

[maya44]

The best way to do this, to get kids to try new foods is simply to have all kinds of foods on the table on a regular basis, serve "family style" and simply have it as a given in your family that everyone's choices are what is on the table.

Always have something they like on the table.

NEVER ask them to eat anything or even try anything. Only they decide if they want some of the food on their plate and only they decide if they then eat it.

Always have a snack planned before bed with choices from a list you both came up with.

Never make some foods intake (sweets) dependant on another unless for YOUR child there is a true health concern, but serve dessert ennough after dinner (after clean up is good) that it is going to be hard to wait it out and just eat dessert. Serve dessert in limited portions. Everyone gets a cookie for example, but there is only one available for each person.

This works. It avoids all power struggles. Children will be more likely to try foods using this method.

[veganf]

maya44 - Works for us too, for both our boys, who have very different eating "styles".

[luckylady]

I usually ask my DD to smell something because things taste how they smell. If she thinks the smell is gross she can choose not to eat it. Luckily she is NOT a picky kid - I was as a kid and I am betting DS will be too. My mom made eating SUCH a battle that I will not do it to my children. And I know from smelling something if I will like it or not.

I also read when DD was a baby that if you expose them to lots of textures they will be better eaters - I think this is true - at least in our circle. The moms who are fanatical about their kids getting messy/dirty have picky eaters. My DD was introduced to mud, slime and playdough at a young age and eats everything.Coincidence?

[nonconformnmom]

I invented my own method that I call "rainbow foods". I encourage my 3 yo to eat something of every color during the course of a day. We make a game of it. I'll say, "Have you eaten something green yet?" and if she says no then I say "Peas are green. Broccoli. Green beans ..." and if she wants to she picks out a green food. Or we move on to the next color and offer foods of that color. She seems to really enjoy eating a "rainbow of foods" throughout the day. Of course, sometimes she ends up saying something like "cheese is yellow!" and I usually just sort of give in at that point even though it's not a fruit or a vegetable I have to give her credit for creativity.

[PancakeGoddess]

I was very selective growing up, but I was also forced and pressured to eat things I didn't like, so it became an emotional issue for me. I just absolutely cannot force my kids to eat something. I don't even really like to try to convince them if they're not into it or feeling tempted...

I was not a healthy eater or adventurous until my 20s, and then I learned to like LOTS of stuff.

If it helps at all, my oldest son, at about 8-9yo, started taking pride in trying just about anything, and he now (age 11) eats a huge variety. It just takes time.

Personally, although I'd love them all to eat perfectly, the emotional baggage is not worth it. I offer a variety and settle for a decent result, and I'm reassured by the way the oldest has turned out on this issue.