What would you do in this situation?

[bellona]

My sister is getting married soon and she wants me to go to the wedding. I really want to go and it's important to her that I be there. I'll be either flying or driving, either way it's going to cost me a load of money. I won't have the money to stay in a hotel, but her stb sil has offered to let us stay with her.

It's seemingly the perfect situation...she has a ds who is the same age as my ds and her dd is slightly younger than my dd. It would be free, we'd have much more space, and the kids could all play, but...

...she's a spanker. My sister has never actually seen her spank her kids, but she has joked that they wouldn't do something because they know they'd get their @sses beat and my sister has heard her threaten to spank them when they were 'acting up'. She's also short tempered from what I hear and doesn't speak in the nicest way to them.

I don't really know what to do.

[Brigianna]

Are there any other family members you could stay with, or maybe split a motel room with someone else who's travelling? How bothered do you think your kids would be by being exposed to spankers? How long would you be staying there?

[Soundhunter]

My SIL and BIL are spankers, and they are caring for Emma when I go into the hospital to birth her sibling. I'm comfortable enough with SIL and BIL that I told them no spanking/yelling/intense negativity was a condition for Emma staying there, that I think it would be traumatic for Emma to see spanking/harsh punishment and that I'd rather her be with either DH or I when she does see it for the first time so that we are there to help her make sense of however she feels about it. I don't expect to prevent Emma from being exposed to other ways of living, but while she is so young I'd prefer to be available to her if something is upsetting, so as far as what I'd do in that situation, I don't think I'd leave my children alone with that family, unless my children where older and had already been exposed to such things enough to react predictably to them. If I knew I was going to be with them all of the time, then I might consider staying there for a night or two, and be prepared to explain some uncomfortable, but educational topcs with my kids should the need arise regarding other people living in different ways.