or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2004 - 2008  › October 2006 › ideas on baby shower alternatives?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

ideas on baby shower alternatives?

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
I don't like the idea of a baby shower for a variety of reasons (superstitions about having too much stuff before the baby arrives; the commercialism of it all... etc..) and I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas of a way to make a "pre-baby" party fun without all the present craziness. I read somewhere that one nice thing can be to ask folks to sign up to make meals instead of bringing presents. But I wonder if anyone has any more creative and fun ideas?
post #2 of 11


post #3 of 11
I thought a lot about this after my son was born... here is something I wrote about it back then:

I would like to receive and give real support to new families. For our next child – and for any of my friends and family who are expecting -- I would like to have a Family Shower. Both mom and partner would attend, and invite their friends and family. The gifts would not just be for Baby. I would ask a good friend to organize a help-chart, including a meal-tree, errand-running, babysitting of older siblings, massages, cleaning, etc., for after the baby arrives.

When the baby was six or twelve weeks old, I would have a Family Welcoming Party, where the new family would be reintroduced to their community. A party with good food, a portrait session, time for blessings, an acknowledgement that from here on out, things are different, and that we are asking you, the guests, to join us.

I’d like to serve a coconut cake, to symbolize the sweetness of life, mother’s milk, our spiritual growth as parents. Red balloons – red is the color of birth, transformation and change -- tied together in sets the same number as the family. We might set some free, into the sky, to symbolize the new family’s journey. Guests could offer pledges to the family, written on oak leaf shaped pages – the trunk symbolizing the earth; the leaves, our community; a single leaf, the family; acorns, new beginnings.

post #4 of 11
What about asking for donations towards a charity of your choice? Maybe a children's charity? Something to think about....I've always been at regular baby showers, and they do get "monotonous".

For one of our wedding showers, there were many guests invited and they all contributed to one gift - a new bbq. It was so much fun and didn't have that whole "shower" feel. Oh, and then they shared stories & memories of my husband and I over the years. It was so relaxed and so much fun... maybe there is something along those lines you could do?

Good luck and let me know b/c I'd be interested to hear some alternatives to baby showers!
post #5 of 11
I am having a pre-birthday party for the family, complete with a pinata full of condoms, candy, and aspirin. There is going to be a BBQ and ice cream cake. I am not asking for presents, just making it a potluck. There are going to be funny baby games for adults (who doesnt love a 6ft guy walking around in a diaper?) and a birth-bead station. It is more of a celebration of procreation. I made a rhyme! anyway, i think it all depends on what you are looking for.
post #6 of 11
look here at mothering magazine - search for birth beads. There is a story about a blessingway that someone wrote. It is a beautiful idea.
post #7 of 11
Originally Posted by ArlyShellandKai


I googled this but didn't come up with anything concrete. I think I get the idea but I'm wondering if anyone knows of any specific websites that have a list of ideas. ("Blessings way" was some type of prison work release site.)

I thought about the bead idea ealier and would love to hear more specifics. I'll look for the Mothering article as well. What I pictured was each guest bringing a bead or two for a bracelet that we could then string together that day and I could wear during labor.

And mama_o, I love most of your ideas. They were really beautiful. I think a coconut cake sounds great and I like the idea of the use of red. (BTW I think it's really funny that we are both in the greater Seattle area and you are mama_o and I'm OMama!)

I guess what I am struggling with is trying to communicate this to my friends who will be at my shower. My Mom (who lives out of state but will be here to throw it for me) will be into these ideas and happy to accomodate whatever I suggest, but I don't know how some of my more "mainstream" friends will react. Really, I don't care too much since most of them know how I am. But I don't want people to feel uncomfortable either, like if we ready poetry or if people are asked to talk about their feelings for me, etc. I guess I will just have to research and think more about what I want this experience to be like.

One thing I know that for me, I want it to be all women. There is just something very special about that for me. At least half of the women there will be mothers too. So often we do things as families and with the kids, I am looking forward to the female energy and just being with women. I'd like to celebrate that aspect too in some way.
post #8 of 11
Try googling BLESSINGWAY, no "s" and no spaces. You should get more hits on that.
post #9 of 11
Thanks mamajody! Changing the spelling made a world of difference. I found many great sites and now I am crying (but happy!) because I just read several beautiful stories about other blessingways. Oh, the hormones of a pregnant woman! But it's not just the hormones I know. Birth is such an amazing experience. It sickness me when it turns into another form of commercialization. I am so glad that there are alternatives. I think this "baby shower" will be very different from my last.
post #10 of 11
We had a "Baby Welcoming Party" (didn't know what else to call it) for each of our last 2 babies. We wanted something to celebrate the birth of our baby without getting a bunch of useless (or redundant) crap that we didn't need. (How many NB sleepers does a baby need?!)

We wait until the baby is about 4 weeks, invite all family & close friends, explain that we only want their blessings & possibly a handwritten card or note to the baby to be saved until they are older (time capsule kinda thing).
We have amazing food, a little wine, and bless the baby.
We try to incorporate family/heritage traditions into the day. (Wine on the baby's lips, coins in cake, etc.)

We will be doing the same thing for this baby.
Although I'd also like to find out a bit more about Blessingways...from what I understand they are more for before you have the baby...but I'm sure some of it could be incorporated into an after-baby party.
post #11 of 11
Thread Starter 
Thanks, Mammas! I think I'm getting some good ideas. :-)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: October 2006
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2004 - 2008  › October 2006 › ideas on baby shower alternatives?