I have been posting in this forum about my SIL in India who was pg with her first child. She wanted a vag birth but most of the middle/upper class women chose or end up getting csections. She had her baby three days ago! By vag birth!
When I got the call from FIL that her water broke and she was in the hospital and they were about to give her "something to speed up her labor and baby should be born in 4-5 hours" I immediately got the cell number of MIL who I knew was with her. I hope their bill isn't too high!
I told her to not let them give my poor SIL pit as long as she was having good cx. They had already given her some gel on her cervix. Her water had not been broken that long, I don't think the gel was even necessary but whatever. Too late now. I also told MIL to help SIL move around and not keep her in the bed. So they went against orders and she moved around a lot.
Then she was having some difficult cx and she decided to get an epidural, which is a very new thing in that hospital. It took three tries to get it in her and the baby was born just an hour after it was placed. She was moved into a birthing room. It was a gyn bed with the stirrups and she asked for the back to be put up because it was flat at that time. She and MIL and her dh repeatedly asked for the bed to be put up so she could sit up because that's how she felt comfortable and they tried to figure out how to do it themselves but couldn't. They were blown off and the bed ended up staying flat. Then just as she was getting ready to push, MIL and dh were asked to leave the room!
: MIL protested but was escorted out anyway. They could hear everything from the open doorway as they were in the hallway. My poor SIL was then made to lie flat on her back and had her feet in the stirrups and she asked for someone to hold her legs and was told she had to hold her own thighs. No one did it for her. Even though she had an epidural and her legs were not working very well. She was then ordered to start pushing hard. She pushed three times and then for the fourth push the head nurse pushed down hard on the top of her uterus and the doctor used vacuum extraction to pull the baby out. I asked SIL how long she pushed total and she said about 20 minutes, and she was not having any trouble getting him out, they just wanted to get it over as soon as possible.
Then they immediately cut baby's cord against SIL's wishes, showed the baby to her for about five seconds, and carried him out and to the nursery. She had to be stitched up because of the fast birth (forced on her). She was not allowed to see her own baby for two more hours.
She has some depression going on and it's no wonde why. She also does not appear to be bonding with the baby very much through our phone conversations and she half-joked that she wanted to send him to me to raise until he was older. She was really hoping for a girl so I know she is still accepting her boy, and people are coming over to visit all the time and she's trying to work out her nursing problems. Dh practically yelled at her dh to stop bringing his work buddies over to show off the baby because the baby was being exposed to germs (the strongest argument he could think of that would make sense to the dh). They are also pressuring her to nurse which is not helping. Thank goodness baby finally latched last night but she is having some pain to work through. They are also arguing about what to name him. It seems that my SIL is the last person who has a say in the matter.
I really wanted to be there for the birth but my own dd was not well enough to travel yet.
I would have told those doctors and nurses a thing or two. I feel so bad for my SIL and her humilating birth experience. No wonder most of the women of her generation/income bracket choose to have scheduled csections. I promised her that if I'm not in the middle of nursing school I will do whatever it takes to be there for the next birth if she's able to conceive again. (She took 7 years to be blessed with her son.)
I asked her before the birth if she would consider a birth at home with a midwife. They have midwives for the rural and poor people but I don't know how well they are trained or if they have emergency equipment in case things don't go as planned. So they thought it would be safer to deliver in a hospital. One of their friends, a priest who lives in a small village, lost both his wife and child in childbirth a few years ago.
When I got the call from FIL that her water broke and she was in the hospital and they were about to give her "something to speed up her labor and baby should be born in 4-5 hours" I immediately got the cell number of MIL who I knew was with her. I hope their bill isn't too high!
I told her to not let them give my poor SIL pit as long as she was having good cx. They had already given her some gel on her cervix. Her water had not been broken that long, I don't think the gel was even necessary but whatever. Too late now. I also told MIL to help SIL move around and not keep her in the bed. So they went against orders and she moved around a lot.Then she was having some difficult cx and she decided to get an epidural, which is a very new thing in that hospital. It took three tries to get it in her and the baby was born just an hour after it was placed. She was moved into a birthing room. It was a gyn bed with the stirrups and she asked for the back to be put up because it was flat at that time. She and MIL and her dh repeatedly asked for the bed to be put up so she could sit up because that's how she felt comfortable and they tried to figure out how to do it themselves but couldn't. They were blown off and the bed ended up staying flat. Then just as she was getting ready to push, MIL and dh were asked to leave the room!
: MIL protested but was escorted out anyway. They could hear everything from the open doorway as they were in the hallway. My poor SIL was then made to lie flat on her back and had her feet in the stirrups and she asked for someone to hold her legs and was told she had to hold her own thighs. No one did it for her. Even though she had an epidural and her legs were not working very well. She was then ordered to start pushing hard. She pushed three times and then for the fourth push the head nurse pushed down hard on the top of her uterus and the doctor used vacuum extraction to pull the baby out. I asked SIL how long she pushed total and she said about 20 minutes, and she was not having any trouble getting him out, they just wanted to get it over as soon as possible.Then they immediately cut baby's cord against SIL's wishes, showed the baby to her for about five seconds, and carried him out and to the nursery. She had to be stitched up because of the fast birth (forced on her). She was not allowed to see her own baby for two more hours.
She has some depression going on and it's no wonde why. She also does not appear to be bonding with the baby very much through our phone conversations and she half-joked that she wanted to send him to me to raise until he was older. She was really hoping for a girl so I know she is still accepting her boy, and people are coming over to visit all the time and she's trying to work out her nursing problems. Dh practically yelled at her dh to stop bringing his work buddies over to show off the baby because the baby was being exposed to germs (the strongest argument he could think of that would make sense to the dh). They are also pressuring her to nurse which is not helping. Thank goodness baby finally latched last night but she is having some pain to work through. They are also arguing about what to name him. It seems that my SIL is the last person who has a say in the matter.
I really wanted to be there for the birth but my own dd was not well enough to travel yet.
I would have told those doctors and nurses a thing or two. I feel so bad for my SIL and her humilating birth experience. No wonder most of the women of her generation/income bracket choose to have scheduled csections. I promised her that if I'm not in the middle of nursing school I will do whatever it takes to be there for the next birth if she's able to conceive again. (She took 7 years to be blessed with her son.)I asked her before the birth if she would consider a birth at home with a midwife. They have midwives for the rural and poor people but I don't know how well they are trained or if they have emergency equipment in case things don't go as planned. So they thought it would be safer to deliver in a hospital. One of their friends, a priest who lives in a small village, lost both his wife and child in childbirth a few years ago.
to her
