Originally Posted by Isamama
Thank God you started this thread! I had to stop reading the boards here at MDC because I felt the toxic judgement so strongly...and really, who needs any more judgement in their life?
I did all the "right" things: I taught yoga, took natural birthing classes, hired a doula, listened to hypno birthing cd, stopped people from telling me horror stories re birth, and met with the midwives in the practice. I also labored at home for the first 4 days before I had had ENOUGH. I was in agony and I hadn't slept more than 20 minutes in 4 days. I went to the hospital. I won't go into full details (too long for now)...on the fifth day I chose the epidural and pitocin. I finally got an hour or two of sleep. I dilated fully (epidural didn't work anymore at this time--ouch!) and pushed for 1 and 1/2 hours. I suddenly had this knowing that she wasn't coming out (we already knew she was a big baby, the OB/Midwives already said that vac/forcepts wasn't an option b/c afraid of SD) vaginally. At that moment I knew we had to have a Cecarian Birth. Let me just reassure everyone that having a surgery was the last thing I wanted. I am claustraphobic and would never just "elect" to be immobile with a huge drape hung up under my chin. At that moment, I knew it was the right thing to do for my child.
Having said all of that, after my daughter was born, I ignored all that I knew at the time of her birth and questioned myself like crazy: maybe i didn't try hard enough, if only I... you know the drill.
I also do not feel that my OB/Midwives did me wrong. They gave me options all along the way. I ultimately called the shots (even though they did give me parameters that some would disagree with). I find some folks are also very judgemental about trusting your doctors. Lord knows there are some bad ones out there and I do appreciate hearing about other options (ie home births, UA births, etc). Some of us just feel more comfortable in hospital settings (as I discovered I did---didn't think I would, but there you go).
Well, I could go on... Thank you for starting this thread!
I wanted to say thanks for this post it's pretty much what I went through when I gave birth to my daughter 10 months ago. I did yoga, water classes, had a doula, hypnobirthing, am well read and educated on birthing and had a midwife. Needless to say after four days of labor and never dialting past 4 doing everything the midwives and I could think of naturally I was in tremendous pain at the end and my daughter started to have difficulty. I knew in my heart we would need to go with a "belly birth"-thanks, I love that term. Although dh and I were scared never did we feel that we weren't "in control", the midwife and then the OB talked to us. I really felt good psychologically after it happened but have to say the comments from people on boards such as these and other well meaning people really took a toll. I started to get the "what if" syndrome which can really mess with your head. It's nice that the majority of these posts are from woman who had a belly birth even though they planned a different route and don't blame themselves or the doctors.
I'm not dismissing others feelings and the fact that they might have been pressured into a c-section. But there are quite a few of us where that's not the case but yet are treated as if we should either be angry or held responsible because it wasn't a vaginal birth.