Can we talk?

[coco4cloth]

Anyone else starting to feel postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety? It's hit me hard this week. I'll be back later to explain. Anyone else need to talk? Or am I the only crazy one

[mcimom]

I'm not really, mostly just pp irritable : but I'll talk! You're not alone!

[fireant]

I have tons of anxiety lately. I think it's especially hard for me because I didn't get off to a good bonding start with the baby while she was in the NICU.

[*guest]

I started seeing a therapist last week. I'm still upset about the birth, and having a newborn is so much harder than I ever anticipated. This week is my husband's first week back at work, and being home alone with her is tough. And I'm doing all the junk you're supposed to, like seeing friends and taking walks and not stressing about the housework, and it's still hard. It's boring and isolating right now. I hate seeing my husband for all of 2 hours a night, where we bolt food and pass the baby back and forth before we all crash, totally exhausted. I know some people love the newborn stage, but not me. I'm also worried about every last pimple and snuffle, and we're still having breastfeeding problems (she's fine, but I'm in pain).

[BelgianSheepDog]

Sorry to anyone who is going through this. I got off to a really awful start but am doing better now. In my case, supplementing iron, calcium, and magnesium really gave me the leg up I needed to start feeling normal again. Low iron definitely was contributing to my panic attacks. You might check with your care providers to see if they think that might help you too.

[MyLittleWonders]

I'm in the pp irritable stage - but it's almost always connected to missing my magnesium supplement and also because I've been sick almost the entire 4 weeks ppd. It started with an infection in my ear lobe. I've had a horribly sore back (calling the chiro today). Then I've been fighting off a breast infection and possible UTI (mw sent a sample to the lab because she thinks the D.O. who diagnosed it was off her rocker). And we've had horrible thrush. I think we are finally on the mend, but not feeling well and trying to make sure my older two boys don't feel completely left-out has been so hard. And, I think I'm the only person in this house who sees clutter, mess, and dirt ... of course, I'm supposed to be *resting* ... yea, with cd's to wash daily, and the never-ending mountain of laundry to do, tha's not happening. So, not really pp depression, but definitely irritable around here. And dh started teaching night class last night, so it's me and 3 boys 4 nights a week ... so yea, I'm here to talk.

[The4OfUs]

Does collapsing into a sobbing heap on the floor last week count?

I'm pretty sure mine was just a bad day, I hadn't had enough water or food, and DS was in a rare mood, but I lost it and started crying in the middle of the playroom floor....and DS brought me my glass of water, patted my head and said, "Mommy OK?", - I usually give him water when he's upset...it was sooooo sweet, and really helped bring me back to the present.

Since then, I've been feeling fine, cause I've been forcing myself to go to sleep earlier a couple times a week so I get more sleep, and forcing myself to drink at least 2 liters of water a day...and realized that I have to just let some more things go...but I feel like if I let much more go, the house is gonna fall apart : :

Big hugs to eveyrone really feeling the effects of actual PPD, I had a few girlfriends IRL who had it and we all rallied together and gently guided them to seek help, and it worked wonders. So to anyone really feeling more than just the occasional downer, PLEASe take care of yourself and talk to someone who can help - your doc, MW, whoever!!!!

[MyLittleWonders]

Originally Posted by The4OfUs

but I feel like if I let much more go, the house is gonna fall apart : :

I am so there with you!

And what a sweet story about you and your little guy bringing you water. The few times I broke down while pregnant, my boys would come lay next to me, rub my face, and tell me it was okay.

[mamamilkbar]

I'm still a little weepy.........
I think most of it is because I am going back to work in 3 weeks and I don't want to at all.... I cry a lot about that and the thought of leaving etc.... Also everything is driving me nuts. The house chores are one of the main things....

Anyone been butting heads with their DH or seem to have arguments more? Maybe its just me??

[SoCaliMommy]

I felt bad a few wks back, it helped when i only had Ryker to handle, like my mom took Alex for a weekend. but then then at times i felt like i couldn't even handle just him alone. I was even feeling like i shouldn't have gotten pregnant with him and just felt horrible: . There are some days still i feel like that esp when Alex is pushing buttons and i feel like all i do is yell at her to try and make her listen: , she listens great to hubby.

[AugustineM]

I think I definitely have PP anxiety. This is weird and maybe TMI but I've had digestive problems all the last week, like bad diarrhea and stomach aches. I finally realized it's probably from stress/anxiety. I have been not eating much, or very well, and not really taking care of myself because it's so overwhelming having my two little ones all day. I can barely keep diapers changed and everyone marginally happy... I forget to eat/drink water, etc.

Today we went for a walk, though, that was good!

[coco4cloth]

Ok, I have a minute to myself. I am having some anxiety. I was doing fine until I noticed my tear hurting so I went to look. Well I have (sorry this is tmi) some bumps/blisters down there. I freaked. Thinking oh great it's some sort of std, I didn't give my baby the eye drops, full pledge panic attack came on. I called the doctor that Monday. Went Tuesday and she said it's tension lesions. Never heard of it. I guess were I was stitched up it's pulling. I was fine leaving her office, but then my mind went crazy thinking what if she is wrong, what if it's cancer, or it is an std although I have never have any sort of thing before. Been with my dh for 10 yrs. :

So, here I am today. Feeling a little better just wishing my bottom was. The tear is bothering me. I am sore, but it doesn't look like I even have any bumps down there anymore. Guess it's hard because I was feeling so good 2 weeks ppd, I would have thougth by 4 weeks I'd be fine.

I go back to the doctor in 2 weeks. If I am still having problems we will discuss some natural stuff and some vitamins that I know cost a lot but hey if they help... Right now she has me doing 20 min. sitz baths with lavendar and rescuse rememdy I really like her. I will avoid any conventional medications as of right now. I'm not to that point yet.

Sorry, didn't mean to write a novel, I just don't want to feel alone or crazy:

[Amys1st]

It was hard at first having Maggie home w/ all the things that went with having a post nicu baby home. Plus all the monitrs etc in my mind created clutter and plus not being able to clean up it made me a bit loopy. Add dh having to work a bit more and lack of sleep for both of us.

Its gotten better and dh stepped in last weekend when I said- we have to get this house back in shape. I went thru dd1s playroom and decluttered, I laid down the law about how the house got upside down. There was stuff everywhere and I showed dh how it happend. As I was explaining, I had just made the bed. Then 5 minutes later, dd1 walks in and gets in and messes it up. I said- HERE! I will not have another 5 minutes today to put it back together. Or if I attempt, Maggie needs my attention. So we had to say to Liz pick up or its leaving the house. She is getting better at clean up. Also we had shoes, cloths, toys, things everywhere. I said- if you see something that needs to be put away - DO IT!!! So this week has been much better- even w lack of sleep and dh working a crazy week.

Also, Liz spent a great deal of time w her both sets of her grandparents the last few months. Both sets are very good at letting her go home with "stuff" whether coloring books, baskets, papers, old toys whatever. It created a huge mess at my house to the point I said while the grandparent was standing there- No it is not going to our home. Also I told Liz the new rule- every time you bring a new toy in, 2 have to leave the house to donate. She has found stuff she no longer uses and will get it out of the house.

So for me- its a break in the routine. I have a smaller than bigger house and clutter makes it smaller. Its easy to mess up a house that you live in all day and it bothers my mind- that was my biggest issue. Another issue is we are normally private people. Even though we have many friends and family, we keep our business to ourselves. When Maggie was born, we both felt like our privacy was invaded in more ways than not. Its still happening but not as bad. So for me its not ppd, but if anyone reading or posting in this thread is not having this but issues over bonding, scary thoughts, overwhelmd etc- Please call your health practicioner today.

[eco_mama]

If I think about CALI, I'll cry.

But other than that..I feel great. Especially since everything is just falling into place.

[coco4cloth]

you gals are lucky not to be feeking so bad. i hit rock bottom last night. i called for help. i feel like such a loser i didn't have this w/ my first two.

[eco_mama]

coco4cloth ~ to you Mama!!

[mommy2girlies]

Originally Posted by coco4cloth

you gals are lucky not to be feeking so bad. i hit rock bottom last night. i called for help. i feel like such a loser i didn't have this w/ my first two.

Please don't feel like a loser!! Im glad you got help I did this w/ my 2nd and got on wellbutrin and am still on it. (I have had depression/anxiety before the kids too) I was actually diagnosed w/ ppd, so we knew to look for it this time around too. I started feeling it this week.

My mom was here w/ us helping out a few days and she tends to make me very nervous/stressed. She keeps wanting to rearrange my furniture, not listening to "I like it where it is, thats why we put it there" I keep repeating!!!!: so needless to say the last day she was here I was a mess. I balled like a baby at the end of the day, telling dh I was sorry, I felt like I was ruining our babymoon by being blah.....it took me a few days to realize that its probably pp depression.

Im really trying to be aware of my feelings and didn't know about the mag/cal supplement. I've kinda slacked off taking them, so I'll get back on the ball. I know the irritation I feel at the girls is a combo of lack of sleep, stress, and real annoyance when I've got J.C to sleep or quieted down and they "love/squash" all over him and wake him up again : but I feel so bad when I yell at them. I hate yelling, and I find myself doing it more often. Then of course I begin to cry and apologize for yelling and telling them "mommy's just really tired"

I know it'll get better and we just have to hang in there, but hormones are a BITCH!!: