Alfie kOHEN

[Tomsmum]

I am reading 'unconditional Parenting' atm - what an eye-opener this is! I have a spirited 3 year old who has real problems in terms of being over physical with other children and especially his brother - we have tried Time-out to no avail - Now I know why!

I am looking forward on the 'how to do it better' chapter!

[Eman'smom]

I need to re-check it out of the library, or maybe get my own copy I never did finish reading it, maybe I'd have less questions and problems if I found the time to read

[rmzbm]

I love all AK's books! I recommend them all the time.

[bug138]

me too!

I just finished reading this book and Siblings without Rivalry- they both go together really well. But I feel like it would be great to have a monthly discussion group- to put into practice what makes sense to me intellectually. I think I'll get "How to Talk so kids will listen......" It's by the same authors of the sibling book.

Kyla

[annettejohnson02]

I have an almost 2.5 year old who is hitting A LOT. He doesn't see to do it out of anger or aggression, more out of excitment. He knows he shouldn't do it (after he hits, he immediatly says "sorry" and says "No hit....(fill in person's name)

We have tried redirecting the impulse, identifying emotions, and time outs...all to no avail. He is VERY spirited. Do you think this book would help me out/apply to my situation?

[rmzbm]

Perhaps. But at his age your DS likely just can't control himself. I know he understnads, but that's not the same as self control. At that age it's just an added bonus when they do just what you say. Give him time.

[annettejohnson02]

Originally Posted by rmzbm

Perhaps. But at his age your DS likely just can't control himself. I know he understnads, but that's not the same as self control. At that age it's just an added bonus when they do just what you say. Give him time.

Thanks for that... I really needed to hear that!! I just spent 2 weeks with my SIL who repeatedly told me he was "2!" (as if to say he was so old) where I generally think of him as "only 2" I needed that reminder!

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by annettejohnson02

Thanks for that... I really needed to hear that!! I just spent 2 weeks with my SIL who repeatedly told me he was "2!" (as if to say he was so old) where I generally think of him as "only 2" I needed that reminder!

Og, geez! People with their "expectations!" Then they get pissy when the kid doesn't (CAN'T) "listen."

Uggh.

He IS still a baby.



Just one other thing...please reconsider time out, you're not helping yourself. And, actually, AK's books are good for explaining that.

Hang in there!

[irinam]

I love love love Alfie Kohn. And no, I do not agree with every single thing he says, but reading UP opened up my eyes and completely changed my perspective.

Originally Posted by annettejohnson02

Thanks for that... I really needed to hear that!! I just spent 2 weeks with my SIL who repeatedly told me he was "2!" (as if to say he was so old) where I generally think of him as "only 2" I needed that reminder!

Ugh... ask her if she thinks he should hurry up and get a job already